Anonymous wrote:So he's had an affair with a coworker--but its non sexual? and he's on AFF--but not to meet anyone?

So sorry, OP, but I don't think either of these are true. And while I know the feeling that you must get to the truth (because being lied to drives you crazy, it is the way to stay sane, in a weird way, is to have the knowledge that you're not crazy, that your gut is right) does it really matter at this point? Are you interested in saving the marriage? The only way for me would be radical honesty, but I dont see that happening here.