Anonymous
Post 04/08/2014 23:51     Subject: Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
You all should try being married to someone who is chronically late. We are late for everything, and it drives me crazy. I'm so embarrassed, but my spouse doesn't think it's a big deal at all. Nothing will change my spouse...we have screaming fights about it every time we are late. I now often drive the kids and let my spouse drive alone and show up usually 30 minutes to an hour late. I'm sorry OP... It makes me sad that some of our friends have probably disowned us for this, I just have no idea how to change this. (Yes, I always lie about what time we actually need to arrive, but my spouse has figured that out and now counts on it.)
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2014 02:38     Subject: Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
Being chronically late is rude and a way to control others.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2014 02:02     Subject: Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
Anonymous wrote:I am chronically late. I find that laters and waiters are pretty much split along personality lines. Type A perfectionistic overachievers who pride themselves on living by the rule of the law and being detail oriented are always on time (or early). Noe fo that is me. I do get places on time if it is critical (meeting, babysitting for someone type thing) but I don't' prioritize being on time above all else. I am not in any way put out by people coming late and I don't interpret that as disrespect in any way as I am more big picture. I am pretty flexible and adaptable and go with the flow so I often forget how much the 'rules' matter to others. I don't place the same value on time.

I also have no expectation that anyone accommodate my lateness though so I am never upset by the reactions of others.

I am pretty much one of the people you all hate.


Classic Narcissist.
Anonymous
Post 04/08/2014 01:56     Subject: Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
Anonymous wrote:I am chronically late. I find that laters and waiters are pretty much split along personality lines. Type A perfectionistic overachievers who pride themselves on living by the rule of the law and being detail oriented are always on time (or early). Noe fo that is me. I do get places on time if it is critical (meeting, babysitting for someone type thing) but I don't' prioritize being on time above all else. I am not in any way put out by people coming late and I don't interpret that as disrespect in any way as I am more big picture. I am pretty flexible and adaptable and go with the flow so I often forget how much the 'rules' matter to others. I don't place the same value on time.

I also have no expectation that anyone accommodate my lateness though so I am never upset by the reactions of others.

I am pretty much one of the people you all hate.


And I bet we're not alone. Ever asked your family and friends how they feel about your flexible approach to time?
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2014 22:52     Subject: Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
Anonymous wrote:Stop having them babysit. Seriously, you know you can't count on them, so why keep setting yourself up for stress? And don't hold dinner for them, or wait on them. Tell them what time something will start, and then start. Everyone is late once in a while because of something beyond their control, but chronic lateness is rude and unacceptable. Don't let it control you.


OP is an enabler.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2014 22:50     Subject: Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
Anonymous wrote:What happens if you guys just don't accommodate these people? Like, just start ordering or eating at the time you were supposed to meet for dinner?


The fuckin universe will end.

These complainers don't realize they are enablers. That is if they find themselves in a chronic pattern.

It's a joke really. Where are these always late people when they are so busy being late? Banging hookers on the way to the dinner or something?
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2014 22:47     Subject: Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
Fuck these late inconsiderate asses, they can't even text you to tell they are running late???

Don't rely on em to show up, don't make any of your plans depending on what they do; assume they will drop the ball and just go ahead and do whatever on your own schedule.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2014 14:17     Subject: Re:Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
I don't have patience for people who are late. Either start eating without your IL/SIL or tell them to be there 30-60 min early and let them wait for a change. Or you could just stop inviting them to dinner.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2014 12:35     Subject: Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
I've experienced this with my DH's adult child. Chronically late. With DH's support, we now tell her to meet us and the time we will eat dinner. We begin at exactly the time we state. If she shows she shows, if not no skin off our back.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2014 11:41     Subject: Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
Anonymous wrote:I am chronically late. I find that laters and waiters are pretty much split along personality lines. Type A perfectionistic overachievers who pride themselves on living by the rule of the law and being detail oriented are always on time (or early). Noe fo that is me. I do get places on time if it is critical (meeting, babysitting for someone type thing) but I don't' prioritize being on time above all else. I am not in any way put out by people coming late and I don't interpret that as disrespect in any way as I am more big picture. I am pretty flexible and adaptable and go with the flow so I often forget how much the 'rules' matter to others. I don't place the same value on time.

I also have no expectation that anyone accommodate my lateness though so I am never upset by the reactions of others.

I am pretty much one of the people you all hate.


So, if a friend arranged her schedule to fit in a dinner with you, and sat at the restaurant for 30-45 minutes waiting for you, that's no biggie in your mind?
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2014 10:27     Subject: Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
Stop having them babysit. Seriously, you know you can't count on them, so why keep setting yourself up for stress? And don't hold dinner for them, or wait on them. Tell them what time something will start, and then start. Everyone is late once in a while because of something beyond their control, but chronic lateness is rude and unacceptable. Don't let it control you.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2014 22:23     Subject: Dealing with chronic lateness--VENT
Texting has saved me from this with my family who live about an 1.5 away. We used to wait around for them for hours after the set arrival time feeling like we couldn't go anywhere. Now we make plans with a time and then I say "text me when you leave the house" or " text me when you are at a certain highway exit". This way, I just go about my day, and then when I receive the text, I know to start planning to be home within an hour.