OP--he does trial work as a consultant (expert witness?) and you don't understand why he gets very very busy during one of his trials??? Then you really need to educate yourself about what it is he actually does for a living. You could always ask him, you know, on one of your weekend trips to see him, that is, if you're really interested in his life enough to be complaining about not having a serious relationship with him.

Oh yes--you actually gossiped about him with your girlfriends and would even remotely consider listening to their "advice" about any of this? How many of these trouble making gfs are happily married or in long term relationships?

What this is really all about is you don't really want a serious relationship, you are just tired of the long commute, and would like him to commute to you sometimes, but he won't. Because he's too busy working.

You sound very immature. Are you sure you're really 31?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised no one has said this. I'm sorry but move on OP. You are doing all the work. Even assuming he adores you and wants a serious relationship, your relationship is already so unbalanced that it's a recipe for unhappiness. You're at his beck and call. Trust me, this stuff does NOT get better, only worse. His actions are telling you what he is willing to put into your relationship. He has chosen to prioritize his career at this time, and that's fine, but it means any relationship with him will be unbalanced and focused on his needs and schedule. And I don't think any woman is happy in that type of relationship long term.

I was going to just go to the bottom and post something very similar to this! When I was young, I was in some unbalanced relationships. They NEVER work out. If he really wanted to see you, he would make an effort. You write how you are always the one driving 200 miles. That is a red flag. My advice is to find someone closer to where you live and write this one off. NOw, if you write him off and he misses you and goes out of his way to pursue you (he makes that 200 mile drive), then okay. But the way it stands right now, you deserve someone who wants you as much as you want him.

Ha ha ha. I love how all you ladies (or man boobs) automatically blame the guy in a situation like this. It's not his fault at all. It's OP's fault. He was honest and said he was moving for his career. If she was committed to a relationship with him she would move to where he is (after a serious conversation about their "future together").

OP is just a female game player who, herself, would jump at the next big dick to come along, only it hasn't yet. The nerve of some people. You want to see him more often...so he should do, what, exactly???? You haven't even shown enough serious commitment to him to actually discuss your future with him, or even ask to, so why should he assume that there is going to be any future? You do realize, of course, that you would have no credibility discussing a future with him, unless you made your willingness to move where he is very clear? Of course you haven't told him that since you have no intentions of uprooting your comfortable little life to be where he is.

You need to bring it up. I brought it up after about 6,7 weeks with the guy I met online. He seemed slightly surprised but was fine with it, and that was five months ago.

I didn't ask him if he was seeing anyone else or said I didn't want him to. I said, "how would you feel about us only dating each other?" and told him I was ready to care about someone and only wanted to be with that person. I think it's better to say something like that than alternatives.

Although honestly it doesnt sound like this guy is necessarily ready or wanting that. But you need to talk to him.

Move on OP. You've wasted enough time.

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised no one has said this. I'm sorry but move on OP. You are doing all the work. Even assuming he adores you and wants a serious relationship, your relationship is already so unbalanced that it's a recipe for unhappiness. You're at his beck and call. Trust me, this stuff does NOT get better, only worse. His actions are telling you what he is willing to put into your relationship. He has chosen to prioritize his career at this time, and that's fine, but it means any relationship with him will be unbalanced and focused on his needs and schedule. And I don't think any woman is happy in that type of relationship long term.

I agree with this too.

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised no one has said this. I'm sorry but move on OP. You are doing all the work. Even assuming he adores you and wants a serious relationship, your relationship is already so unbalanced that it's a recipe for unhappiness. You're at his beck and call. Trust me, this stuff does NOT get better, only worse. His actions are telling you what he is willing to put into your relationship. He has chosen to prioritize his career at this time, and that's fine, but it means any relationship with him will be unbalanced and focused on his needs and schedule. And I don't think any woman is happy in that type of relationship long term.

I was going to just go to the bottom and post something very similar to this! When I was young, I was in some unbalanced relationships. They NEVER work out. If he really wanted to see you, he would make an effort. You write how you are always the one driving 200 miles. That is a red flag. My advice is to find someone closer to where you live and write this one off. NOw, if you write him off and he misses you and goes out of his way to pursue you (he makes that 200 mile drive), then okay. But the way it stands right now, you deserve someone who wants you as much as you want him.

I think you can keep dating him but don't turn the other guys down. You need to keep your options open.

I think a guy in a 10 year relationship prior to you doesn't sound very marriage-minded. Just a hunch.