Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 23:31     Subject: So I think I just got played - online dating - OK Cupid
Anonymous wrote:I used match a while ago (18 years). I have to say that even then, there were a lot of strangeness. I think back then, there were more antisocial people on-line...it was newer.

The scary thing, though, is I discovered that I could get laid any time I wanted off of match.com. It was a lot of work, and not really fulfilling.

I met my wife, and have not looked back.


I'm not sure if the site is weird, or you are?
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 13:38     Subject: So I think I just got played - online dating - OK Cupid
I used match a while ago (18 years). I have to say that even then, there were a lot of strangeness. I think back then, there were more antisocial people on-line...it was newer.

The scary thing, though, is I discovered that I could get laid any time I wanted off of match.com. It was a lot of work, and not really fulfilling.

I met my wife, and have not looked back.
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 13:31     Subject: Re:So I think I just got played - online dating - OK Cupid
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanks to the previous two PPs! Your advice and support is greatly appreciated! One question: I have sent a few emails and out of those I sent (around 8 or 9) I have received two replies back. It seems though that I wait awhile to receive a reply. It appears that this is like a game. If someone were to send me a message and I open it and like it I would respond as soon as I could without thinking about it. The replies I have received are a day or two later. Also, I notice that men I have written emails to - but who have not replied back to me - still keep checking out my profile every day. Is this normal? To the pp above: how long did it take you to reply to an email from someone you were interested in? Thanks!


PP divorced guy.

So a couple of things - the guys who keep checking your profile but don't respond, these are not the guys you want to date. Put them in the rear view mirror and forget them.

If you've sent out emails and guys haven't responded, don't worry about it. You do need to grow some thick skin and online dating requires some degree of stamina. Any real guy worth his salt will respond to a woman he finds attractive (and that's VERY subjective and dependent on the individual). Don't get down or worry too much if these guys don't respond.

If a woman contacted me and I liked her profile (I actually read them) and how/what she said, I'll respond as soon as I log into the site - but I'm not on the site everyday. If a woman I've contacted doesn't get back to me but looks at my profile, I don't worry about it.

But here's the most important thing - you need to find your inner confidence. I know I have a great life and even as a single dad I offer a hell of a lot. So any woman who doesn't want to date a single dad or a guy who isn't white, that's on her, not me. In real life I get checked out and approached quite a bit so I know I've got the goods. So just play it cool, be selective and you'll connect with someone.

The woman I'm currently kinda seeing approached me and even admitted I'm the first no white guy she's ever dated or gone out with. Her words - we have crazy chemistry and a strong mutual attraction among many other thongs in common. The point is, cast a wide enough net.


I'm the first PP. My experience is I had an app and could check that during the day at work. If I wanted to send a thoughtful reply that required much typing, I might log on at night after my kids are in bed. Sometimes I'd start, get distracted by something, go back later on. I'd reread the profile so I could be specific. Sometimes a date didn't work out and I'd go back and check out another guy's profile again. Bottom line is, you don't know these guys so you can't get offended. You can't assume anything. Or at least you shouldn't. Hell, there are other active threads here where someone has been dating a month and the guy is still logging on the site where they met.

Some guys like women who initiate (they say we get lots more emails than they do). Some guys are very into a certain look and you may not have it, so even if you email, they may look to see your profile, but have no interest. Some guys may be dating 3 women and although they like your profile, don't have the time or desire to write you back. Focus on the responses that you get and go from there. Are you getting many emails that are from guys who initiate? In my personal experience, things have gone better when the guy did the picking. That still wouldn't stop me from emailing someone that caught my eye. I can rationalize all the reasons I didn't get a reply, so maybe that's my way to self-preserve. Just stay confident and try not to take things too personally.
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 09:50     Subject: Re:So I think I just got played - online dating - OK Cupid
The woman I'm currently kinda seeing approached me and even admitted I'm the first no white guy she's ever dated or gone out with. Her words - we have crazy chemistry and a strong mutual attraction among many other thongs in common.


This was a nice reply PP. Cute Freudian slip though!
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 08:06     Subject: So I think I just got played - online dating - OK Cupid
OP, get away from the computer and meet people in REAL LIFE. Unless you are in prison, can't you take a course or join a group or volunteer somewhere?