Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Decided to just say "sorry I don't know. DH left early"

And I don't think DH is considered uptight or whipped. He came home at 1am and we had to be leaving for the airport at 5am. And he told me in a "can you believe what best man did? That isn't going to go over well" type of way. We usually talk about things like that.

You sound a little smug. Be careful. Men who are friends tend to have a lot in common with each other.

Where did OP sound smug?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Decided to just say "sorry I don't know. DH left early"

And I don't think DH is considered uptight or whipped. He came home at 1am and we had to be leaving for the airport at 5am. And he told me in a "can you believe what best man did? That isn't going to go over well" type of way. We usually talk about things like that.

You sound a little smug. Be careful. Men who are friends tend to have a lot in common with each other.

This is why men shouldn't consume alcohol and be around strippers. If you need it one last time with a stranger, don't get married, because you are not in love.

Don't know why you want to pay for it anyway.

I told my hubby I was fine with him having a bachelor party but no strippers. He opted not to have a bachelor party. He just hung out with some friends.

He knows that if he cheats we're done. We've been happily married for almost 10 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Decided to just say "sorry I don't know. DH left early"

And I don't think DH is considered uptight or whipped. He came home at 1am and we had to be leaving for the airport at 5am. And he told me in a "can you believe what best man did? That isn't going to go over well" type of way. We usually talk about things like that.

Yeah, whoever wrote that is a probably a man who sleeps with strippers. Your dh did the right thing.

As to venue, I am not cool with strip clubs or strippers in a hotel room. But if my dh went to a strip club, I would be annoyed but strippers in a hotel room is a whole other ball game. In a club they are more supervised and much less likely to sleep with them.

I respect your feelings. However, you either trust your husband or you don't. He's either going to cheat or not. For most of us, we don't / won't fall into bed with a strange woman just because the circumstances allow. It does happen, I suppose, but I feel like that's the exception, not the rule.

Personally, I loath strip clubs, but I have been in both situations (club, private party). As a man, I think you have to be pre-interested in having sex outside your marriage for a private stripper to cause problems. Plus, in the private party I was at, there were 2 rather beefy gentleman that escorted the young ladies, so the message was pretty clear.

Fully agree. Venue makes no difference. I"ve been to both, wasn't in to either (why pay to get all worked up?), but none ever got out of hand.

Sounds like insecure women who can't trust their men.

LOL. Are you here to blow smoke at the women? There are a surprisingly large number of men who will cross the line when they're thrown into such situations and have a couple of drinks.

Yep. Alcohol + opportunity =

Anonymous wrote:I think there is definitely a difference bw club setting and hotel. I don't like strip clubs in general so there's that as well.....doesn't make me or anyone else uptight for feeling similarly.

It might make you comparatively uptight but within the realm of normal. To me it seems a sad way of dropping $50-$100-more in an evening.

I dunno about other guys, but why would I want my guy friends seeing just how pathetically endowed I am and/or me getting whisky dick while trying to bang the stripper/prostitute?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't even know for sure so text and say you don't know. Don't be the one to start drama on hear say. Strippers at a club, hotel, or back alley, who cares... It's still a stripper. You and your husband sound uptight.

OP here. Ha far from uptight if you knew us. Before I met DH, he told me about a 21st bday party he went to where strippers were hired to come to the birthday boy's hotel room. Turned out they were actually escorts, so Dh was just warning the best man that it can happen.

I think she's probably reaching out to all wives/gfs in whose significant others were at the bachelor party because she now has suspicions and wants confirmation. The only reason I was going to tell her what DH told me is that when this all eventually comes out (which it will in some way) I don't want her to be pissed at me and accuse me of lying to her.

And yes, another PP hit the nail on the head. Some of these guys are not on the up and up. Cheaters, womanizers, etc. The type of guys who WOULD encourage a drunk groom to cross the line with a stripper.

You should respond that your advice as her friend is that she should ask her soon to be husband. If she is concerned that he won't tell the truth, than her real issue is why she'd want to get married and not whether there were strippers in the room.

I think there is definitely a difference bw club setting and hotel. I don't like strip clubs in general so there's that as well.....doesn't make me or anyone else uptight for feeling similarly.

I think you're kidding yourselves if you think that all strippers come with bodyguards and won't do some pretty nasty things.

Years ago, the first couple in an extended group of friends got married. My friend was at the bachelor party and, to this day, I still remember some of the stories. I'm hardly a prude, but I would be upset if my BF/DH ate pudding out of a strippers coochie. Call me crazy. I'm guessing I was in college at the time, but this was what set the scene for all bachelor parties moving forward. It's not a matter of trust, it's just a matter of, I don't want my guy's face in anyone else's business. Whether there was intercourse or not.

Thankfully, this wasn't a major issue for the past 15 years or so. About a year ago, I briefly dated a guy whose ex was a stripper in Arlington. Ugh. He basically confirmed most of the stories I'd heard...and some will do anything so long as money is involved. Sure there are the "classy" strippers. But not all are as upstanding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I respect your feelings. However, you either trust your husband or you don't. He's either going to cheat or not. For most of us, we don't / won't fall into bed with a strange woman just because the circumstances allow. It does happen, I suppose, but I feel like that's the exception, not the rule.

Personally, I loath strip clubs, but I have been in both situations (club, private party). As a man, I think you have to be pre-interested in having sex outside your marriage for a private stripper to cause problems. Plus, in the private party I was at, there were 2 rather beefy gentleman that escorted the young ladies, so the message was pretty clear.

LOL. Are you here to blow smoke at the women? There are a surprisingly large number of men who will cross the line when they're thrown into such situations and have a couple of drinks.

Some strippers (esp. if they're just stripping) will have a beefy gentleman or two to make sure the guys don't get TOO grabby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does she care what you knew, when? Weird.

Also, why does it matter where some skank gets naked for men who pay her? Why is the venue important?

Venue is important because 9 times out of 10, if strippers come to you they are also prostitutes.

Not true at all. I have been to numerous private bachelor parties with strippers. Strippers most frequently are accompanied by a bouncer type man who makes sure the girls are safe and not harassed or touched. There is a lot of hand wringing going on by wives who do not know what goes on at a bachelor party or how private stripper services work. What is most evident is how little trust there is for the DHs. If you are taking care of your man at home, he would not need to jump a prostitute at a bachelor party. Also, most guys who would try and have sex with a prostitute (including the bachelor) are not going to do so in front of 10 guys, as the likelihood of it becoming know is very high. Too many guys cannot keep their mouths shut around their wives as it is.

Anonymous wrote:
I respect your feelings. However, you either trust your husband or you don't. He's either going to cheat or not. For most of us, we don't / won't fall into bed with a strange woman just because the circumstances allow. It does happen, I suppose, but I feel like that's the exception, not the rule.

Personally, I loath strip clubs, but I have been in both situations (club, private party). As a man, I think you have to be pre-interested in having sex outside your marriage for a private stripper to cause problems. Plus, in the private party I was at, there were 2 rather beefy gentleman that escorted the young ladies, so the message was pretty clear.

LOL. Are you here to blow smoke at the women? There are a surprisingly large number of men who will cross the line when they're thrown into such situations and have a couple of drinks.

Anonymous wrote:Why does she care what you knew, when? Weird.

Also, why does it matter where some skank gets naked for men who pay her? Why is the venue important?

Venue is important because 9 times out of 10, if strippers come to you they are also prostitutes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Decided to just say "sorry I don't know. DH left early"

And I don't think DH is considered uptight or whipped. He came home at 1am and we had to be leaving for the airport at 5am. And he told me in a "can you believe what best man did? That isn't going to go over well" type of way. We usually talk about things like that.

Yeah, whoever wrote that is a probably a man who sleeps with strippers. Your dh did the right thing.

As to venue, I am not cool with strip clubs or strippers in a hotel room. But if my dh went to a strip club, I would be annoyed but strippers in a hotel room is a whole other ball game. In a club they are more supervised and much less likely to sleep with them.

I respect your feelings. However, you either trust your husband or you don't. He's either going to cheat or not. For most of us, we don't / won't fall into bed with a strange woman just because the circumstances allow. It does happen, I suppose, but I feel like that's the exception, not the rule.

Personally, I loath strip clubs, but I have been in both situations (club, private party). As a man, I think you have to be pre-interested in having sex outside your marriage for a private stripper to cause problems. Plus, in the private party I was at, there were 2 rather beefy gentleman that escorted the young ladies, so the message was pretty clear.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Decided to just say "sorry I don't know. DH left early"

And I don't think DH is considered uptight or whipped. He came home at 1am and we had to be leaving for the airport at 5am. And he told me in a "can you believe what best man did? That isn't going to go over well" type of way. We usually talk about things like that.

Yeah, whoever wrote that is a probably a man who sleeps with strippers. Your dh did the right thing.

As to venue, I am not cool with strip clubs or strippers in a hotel room. But if my dh went to a strip club, I would be annoyed but strippers in a hotel room is a whole other ball game. In a club they are more supervised and much less likely to sleep with them.