That's sad, but to be honest, I still think it's a better situation than the schools that don't have enough volunteers. Not sure why you are so gung ho to join if they're that unfriendly anyway. I just volunteer because the positions go unfilled otherwise and I want the activities to remain at DC's school.

10:47 - I'd step back for your mental health. A school's PTA adds "fluff" to the school experience. Yeah - after-school activities, field trip, assemblies are all good but you can provide your kids that stuff on weekends and in the summer without giving yourself an ulcer.

Trust me on that. My local ES PTA was similar to yours. I went in gun-ho and got completely burned out playing the high school cheerleader game. I'm much happier now since I only volunteer in my DC's classroom where I think our time is better spent anyway.

When the PTA complains no one donates or volunteers, I just smirk. I feel bad for the moms who helpout out of the goodness of their hearts and get treated like cr@p.

Does your school/principal ask for feedback? Mine does and I politely and anonymously state that the PTA is unfriendly and intimidating to new members.

You are lucky not to have "mean girls" running your PTA. Not our school.

What is happening is the same group is rotating through the positions year after year. Yea I know it should eventually phase out but it has been going on for a long time. The board lobbies for friends to volunteer if a position is not wanted by a current board member. If there is a board member who wants the position then it is theirs (two year terms but not a limit on different positions). The atmosphere is such that you do not oppose a sitting board member for a seat. This year the board thought they were going to have an open presidents position. A "new" mom volunteered and of course, because the sitting board lobbied her, it was assumed she would take the position. Many were very happy to have what seemed to be a "outsider" coming in to the board. However, a current board member (who IMO needs to go) decided they wanted the position and now the PTA has pushed the "new" mom out. Again, the atmosphere is such that you do not oppose a sitting board member.

The "PTA" nominating committee nominates one candidate when needed and that makes the new board. Always the same group of mean, utterly disrespectful, women. It is really sad. Over the years I have seen many good, kind, willing to give their time, parents completely STOP helping with PTA because of the politics, distasteful bickering and back stabbing. It really sucks, but since opposition is "way over the top" for parents that just want to make a better school, we all just accept a sucky PTA and grin and bear it for the kids.

This is straight from their "new bylaws":
Nominating committee:
a. There shall be a nominating committee convened when deemed necessary by the Executive
Board composed of three (3) members who shall be elected by this PTA/PTSA at a regular
meeting at least two (2) months prior to the election of officers. The committee shall elect
its chairman.
b. The nominating committee shall nominate an eligible person for each office to be filled and
report its nominees at a regular meeting no less than thirty (30) days prior to the election
meeting. At the election meeting, additional nominations may be made from the floor.
c. Only those persons who have signified their consent to serve if elected shall be nominated
for or elected to such office.

OP, which school?

Our PTA board is a) about two-thirds WOH parents, b) about one-quarter male, and c) definitely not the mean kids. Very much the opposite, in fact.

IIRC, the VA PTA bylaws allow two terms only per position. Yes, you COULD have the same mean moms rotate positions for awhile, but even then, mostly likely you're going to have some turnover fairly soon.

Just trying to give another perspective so that people realize that it's not all mean-girl cliques.

PTA bylaws to elect themselves? PTA's have national rules. Not sure what those differences are at your school. A lot of schools only have the administration to run things. Often there aren't enough parents interested in running a PTA. The teachers then get stretched thin and don't have the time to do a lot of what parents might be able to pick up. In our PTA, the administration pretty much decides the majority of the money earned anyway. Turns out to be not always be such a great thing since many of the parents disagreed this year with how the admin wanted to spend the money. It's a lot easier to disagree with the bossy PTA mom than the school principal.

I think all PTA's should be disbanded and the administration should make all of the decisions for fund raisers and where to spend the cash earned/donated by the student body parents. In our elementary school they have set up the PTA bylaws to elect themselves so what is the point? These people do not represent the parent's of our school. They run all over the administration, hold the teachers hostage to "their" ideas and treat the parents with utter disrespect.

OP here: I have to go to this event. It is a parent/DC event stretching over 6 years, with 20+ parents. Two of the alpha ? moms are such raving b***chs (Dhs no better really) that I am resolved to stay away from them. They have their third little hanger on (what do they call the beta mom?). She is the "sweet" one -- not to my DS of course. She makes me the most angry in a way, because she is so dishonest, and I have to hear about her... wonderfulness. This is an unusual situation for me -- usually in a project such as this we would all be on better terms. Oh well, over soon.

Some women are happier working and some are not. Stay at home moms do work, though. It is a choice. One does not love their kids more than another.

Anonymous wrote:This makes me feel blessed, as my experience with the PTA at all three schools (ES, MS and HS) has been excellent.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

no men?? probably held during the day to exclude normal working people and consisted of stay at home wealthy female spouses.

No intention of starting a war--but some women want to stay home and sacrifice other things for it. They are not necessarily "wealthy".

Yeah--but some WAH and pick their kids up after school every single day so there isn't a sacrifice unless it comes to daily vacuuming. It's good though that some women are available to have a full-time job with the PTA because it does great things.

Just don't assume working in 2014 means sacrificing child time. I work when they are in school and that's it.

+1

I hate the holier than thou attitude. I WAH full time too. Some of us our resourceful and don't need to make sacrifices of any kind. A housecleaner picks up the slack.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have one more volunteer event to do. So tired of the top PTA moms and their clique of mean moms. Dreading this last task -- looking at the sign up sheet -- grrr.

note - clique of mean moms

no men?? probably held during the day to exclude normal working people and consisted of stay at home wealthy female spouses.

what happen to the feminists anyways.

When I drop my kids at elementary school, 90% of the parents are women. And the adults that get to walk/jog the neighborhood during the day are mostly women - I work at home many days and it seems to be only women in the neighborhood all day.

what email did I miss that we are back to women staying home with the kids?

Are you serious? Did you sleep through the first decade of the Mommy Wars?

DH works at home one day per week, but it's more our 'work' that us the difference. I WAH 100%. He also makes 4 times my salary and has to be physically present as a consultant. My work is solitary, doesn't require immediate supervision. There are a ton of men at my gym during the off daytime hours. Also at my agency of 7,000 just as many men WAH full time as women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have one more volunteer event to do. So tired of the top PTA moms and their clique of mean moms. Dreading this last task -- looking at the sign up sheet -- grrr.

note - clique of mean moms

no men?? probably held during the day to exclude normal working people and consisted of stay at home wealthy female spouses.

what happen to the feminists anyways.

When I drop my kids at elementary school, 90% of the parents are women. And the adults that get to walk/jog the neighborhood during the day are mostly women - I work at home many days and it seems to be only women in the neighborhood all day.

what email did I miss that we are back to women staying home with the kids?

Are you serious? Did you sleep through the first decade of the Mommy Wars?

Anonymous wrote:

no men?? probably held during the day to exclude normal working people and consisted of stay at home wealthy female spouses.

No intention of starting a war--but some women want to stay home and sacrifice other things for it. They are not necessarily "wealthy".

Yeah--but some WAH and pick their kids up after school every single day so there isn't a sacrifice unless it comes to daily vacuuming. It's good though that some women are available to have a full-time job with the PTA because it does great things.

Just don't assume working in 2014 means sacrificing child time. I work when they are in school and that's it.

no men?? probably held during the day to exclude normal working people and consisted of stay at home wealthy female spouses.

No intention of starting a war--but some women want to stay home and sacrifice other things for it. They are not necessarily "wealthy".