This is like the SAHM v Working Mom debate: it simply doesn't exist. People are either nice, or they are jerks, no matter the age. Seems like there is a fair amount of "there is no issue" balanced by "older parents are cold/younger parents are immature."

Guess who the jerks are?

Up until 7 years ago I lived/grew up in the midwest. I finished college, got married, had my first all by 24...perfectly normal for where I grew up. My husband and I both have good, well paying careers but we simply just started our family early. I cannot explain to you how COLD the K moms were during my first years here. It was a year of transition in general (moved to DC, husband & I have new jobs, new house etc) and the bitcheness I received from fellow K moms was something out of Mean Girls. They totally acted as if I was some teenage, white trash, uneducated mom. One even asked me "how I got to this school", another asked me "How many decades older is my husband." I really felt sad how it went down. However I am over it now and I am in return SUPER SUPER nice to all parents of all ages and backgrounds because I know how it feels!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the welcoming reception for K, I noticed that most parents look like they're in their 40s and maybe even 50s. In another thread a poster mentioned that s/he will be in their 40s when the kids graduate from high school. I will also be in my early 40s when my kid graduates from high school. What do you think is the average age of the parents at your kid's private?

So you had this kid when you were 25 years old? You live .... not in DC. Right? Atlanta maybe? South Carolina?

I cannot think of of one. single solitary woman I have ever met or known who had a child at 25 and could afford $35,000 a year tuition for that kid 5 years later. Even the trophy wives and trustafarians -- the not heavy hitters in their cAreers -- don't make the babies at 25 in the DC and close-in privates.

You don't think two pharmacists could afford one in private here, for example? My friends and I with kids in private schools all started families in our 20s. We don't live in upper NW but closer to other young professionals and young families like ourselves. Our mortgages are probably more modest. I'm honestly amazed that this you live in such a bubble.

I agree with PP. I never see Moms this young in my NW neighborhood or at 2 of the "Big 3" schools my DCs attend. So for the 25 y/o pharmacist mom - you and your friends are clearly the exception, and as you mentioned, you don't live in the NW neighborhoods where most with $$ and private school kids live. No judgment attached, just the reality as far as I can tell.

I understand that, but my point is upper NW is not the goal for many of us. It lacks the soul and flavor that some of us are looking for in an urban city (ethnic restaurants, racial and economic diversity). I love that one of DC's friends (neighbor) wasn't speaking English when our families first met yet they were and still are close friends. In 15-20 years, young professionals and families will probably consider the Anacostia area the place to be.

Ethnic restaurants? Seriously?? People who don't speak English?? You're the one living in the bubble. Those are pretty much EVERYWHERE in the metro DC area. And the best ethnic restaurants are not the overpriced hipster places on 14th St., but rather the authentic ones out in the suburbs.

But in all honestly, this discussion is ridiculous. The vitriol between older and younger parents here is silly. People make different choices in their lives, some have no control over things and take a different path. One is not better than the other. Just different.

My child will start K in the Fall and I am 42. DH is younger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While it's not as common, you see plenty of people who had kids at around 25 who can afford private by the time their oldest is in K. I happen to know several at our school. They could have family money, be two attorneys (or even 1 Big Law, especially if the spouse is a couple of years older), be in finance or some other high paying field, have a low mortgage and prioritize private school, etc.

Also, I wouldn't put much thought into the age difference. I've made friends of all ages through my kids' private school. I enjoy the moms who are in their 50s just as much as the ones in their early 30s. I have found we have plenty in common, especially since we have kids the same age/ages.

This! I'm the "25yo mom" (26 actually). Relatively low mortgages and nice incomes are common in my circle. I have made friends with parents of different age groups and it hasn't been an issue.

FYI- There is a rude younger mom who posted a comment who is NOT me.

And I'm the young mom who posted about not saving for retirement on the other thread, which got this whole topic started. I'm also not the rude/touchy poster.

We live in a tiny older home, drive 10 year old cars, and forego vacations. We have chosen to invest everything we can in our kids' education. We don't judge others for their choices, and hope that others won't judge us for our age or choices. I have a good group of friends with a variety of different circumstances, and we find plenty in common.

Anonymous wrote:While it's not as common, you see plenty of people who had kids at around 25 who can afford private by the time their oldest is in K. I happen to know several at our school. They could have family money, be two attorneys (or even 1 Big Law, especially if the spouse is a couple of years older), be in finance or some other high paying field, have a low mortgage and prioritize private school, etc.

Also, I wouldn't put much thought into the age difference. I've made friends of all ages through my kids' private school. I enjoy the moms who are in their 50s just as much as the ones in their early 30s. I have found we have plenty in common, especially since we have kids the same age/ages.

This! I'm the "25yo mom" (26 actually). Relatively low mortgages and nice incomes are common in my circle. I have made friends with parents of different age groups and it hasn't been an issue.

FYI- There is a rude younger mom who posted a comment who is NOT me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the welcoming reception for K, I noticed that most parents look like they're in their 40s and maybe even 50s. In another thread a poster mentioned that s/he will be in their 40s when the kids graduate from high school. I will also be in my early 40s when my kid graduates from high school. What do you think is the average age of the parents at your kid's private?

So you had this kid when you were 25 years old? You live .... not in DC. Right? Atlanta maybe? South Carolina?

I cannot think of of one. single solitary woman I have ever met or known who had a child at 25 and could afford $35,000 a year tuition for that kid 5 years later. Even the trophy wives and trustafarians -- the not heavy hitters in their cAreers -- don't make the babies at 25 in the DC and close-in privates.

You don't think two pharmacists could afford one in private here, for example? My friends and I with kids in private schools all started families in our 20s. We don't live in upper NW but closer to other young professionals and young families like ourselves. Our mortgages are probably more modest. I'm honestly amazed that this you live in such a bubble.

If you finish pharmacy school at 26, take an immediate maternity break, find work right after, limit yourself to one, live in a 1 br while saving the 150k for a down payment on a 2 br fixer upper in upper NW, while paying for private preschool, it could be done. However, most couples want 2 kids, so they want more BRS and more maternity breaks. They also want retirement and college savings, and they tend to be risk averse.

The friend I was referring to took a year off for maternity leave and they've always lived on her husbands salary. None of us have any desire to live in upper NW. It's more desirable for those 10-20 years older than us.

NP. As a younger mom, I am appalled how many of you are judging us. I was under the impression the older the wiser, no? Instead some of you sit here and try to decipher how people actually could do this? Unbelievable. I am sure other moms must talk about me then. Nice to know I am being judged on my age. I didnt want to be in my 60's when my kid graduates and goes to college. I wanted to have kids instead of racking up selfish debt in my 20's. I wanted to retire and not still have kids living at home or supporting in college. I want to have an empty nest and travel/live a new life with my husband before I need a cane. I wanted to be a fun healthy mom and a fun and healthy grand mom. So go ahead and judge me. I don't care. I settled down quick and didn't make a ton of stupid mistakes in my twenties. We started saving right after college and here we are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the welcoming reception for K, I noticed that most parents look like they're in their 40s and maybe even 50s. In another thread a poster mentioned that s/he will be in their 40s when the kids graduate from high school. I will also be in my early 40s when my kid graduates from high school. What do you think is the average age of the parents at your kid's private?

So you had this kid when you were 25 years old? You live .... not in DC. Right? Atlanta maybe? South Carolina?

I cannot think of of one. single solitary woman I have ever met or known who had a child at 25 and could afford $35,000 a year tuition for that kid 5 years later. Even the trophy wives and trustafarians -- the not heavy hitters in their cAreers -- don't make the babies at 25 in the DC and close-in privates.

You don't think two pharmacists could afford one in private here, for example? My friends and I with kids in private schools all started families in our 20s. We don't live in upper NW but closer to other young professionals and young families like ourselves. Our mortgages are probably more modest. I'm honestly amazed that this you live in such a bubble.

I agree with PP. I never see Moms this young in my NW neighborhood or at 2 of the "Big 3" schools my DCs attend. So for the 25 y/o pharmacist mom - you and your friends are clearly the exception, and as you mentioned, you don't live in the NW neighborhoods where most with $$ and private school kids live. No judgment attached, just the reality as far as I can tell.

I understand that, but my point is upper NW is not the goal for many of us. It lacks the soul and flavor that some of us are looking for in an urban city (ethnic restaurants, racial and economic diversity). I love that one of DC's friends (neighbor) wasn't speaking English when our families first met yet they were and still are close friends. In 15-20 years, young professionals and families will probably consider the Anacostia area the place to be.

While it's not as common, you see plenty of people who had kids at around 25 who can afford private by the time their oldest is in K. I happen to know several at our school. They could have family money, be two attorneys (or even 1 Big Law, especially if the spouse is a couple of years older), be in finance or some other high paying field, have a low mortgage and prioritize private school, etc.

Also, I wouldn't put much thought into the age difference. I've made friends of all ages through my kids' private school. I enjoy the moms who are in their 50s just as much as the ones in their early 30s. I have found we have plenty in common, especially since we have kids the same age/ages.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the welcoming reception for K, I noticed that most parents look like they're in their 40s and maybe even 50s. In another thread a poster mentioned that s/he will be in their 40s when the kids graduate from high school. I will also be in my early 40s when my kid graduates from high school. What do you think is the average age of the parents at your kid's private?

So you had this kid when you were 25 years old? You live .... not in DC. Right? Atlanta maybe? South Carolina?

I cannot think of of one. single solitary woman I have ever met or known who had a child at 25 and could afford $35,000 a year tuition for that kid 5 years later. Even the trophy wives and trustafarians -- the not heavy hitters in their cAreers -- don't make the babies at 25 in the DC and close-in privates.

You don't think two pharmacists could afford one in private here, for example? My friends and I with kids in private schools all started families in our 20s. We don't live in upper NW but closer to other young professionals and young families like ourselves. Our mortgages are probably more modest. I'm honestly amazed that this you live in such a bubble.

If you finish pharmacy school at 26, take an immediate maternity break, find work right after, limit yourself to one, live in a 1 br while saving the 150k for a down payment on a 2 br fixer upper in upper NW, while paying for private preschool, it could be done. However, most couples want 2 kids, so they want more BRS and more maternity breaks. They also want retirement and college savings, and they tend to be risk averse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the welcoming reception for K, I noticed that most parents look like they're in their 40s and maybe even 50s. In another thread a poster mentioned that s/he will be in their 40s when the kids graduate from high school. I will also be in my early 40s when my kid graduates from high school. What do you think is the average age of the parents at your kid's private?

So you had this kid when you were 25 years old? You live .... not in DC. Right? Atlanta maybe? South Carolina?

I cannot think of of one. single solitary woman I have ever met or known who had a child at 25 and could afford $35,000 a year tuition for that kid 5 years later. Even the trophy wives and trustafarians -- the not heavy hitters in their cAreers -- don't make the babies at 25 in the DC and close-in privates.

Family $$

Sure, those are the trust funders, and in DC,'Bethesda,'Arlington and Alexandria, those sort of women STILL don't get pregnant at 24, two years after college graduation. That was the point.

Anonymous wrote:Half won't be alive to actually be grandparents.

That stings.

As an older Mom (45) this is something I think about a lot. I wish I had children younger but it just didn't work out that way. Of course if I did have them younger there was no way we could afford to send them to private, live where we do, stay-at-home like I do know, or take them on the trips that we do. I also probably wouldn't have the kids that I do so I know things worked out like they were supposed to, but I do worry about being "old". Not that it matters, but people usually think I am 10 years younger than I am and I still often get carded (which is beyond ridiculous because I don't look anything close to 21!). We are moving one of our children to a private school this year, so I think I will actually feel a little better knowing that in general parents are older because they aren't at the public schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the welcoming reception for K, I noticed that most parents look like they're in their 40s and maybe even 50s. In another thread a poster mentioned that s/he will be in their 40s when the kids graduate from high school. I will also be in my early 40s when my kid graduates from high school. What do you think is the average age of the parents at your kid's private?

So you had this kid when you were 25 years old? You live .... not in DC. Right? Atlanta maybe? South Carolina?

I cannot think of of one. single solitary woman I have ever met or known who had a child at 25 and could afford $35,000 a year tuition for that kid 5 years later. Even the trophy wives and trustafarians -- the not heavy hitters in their cAreers -- don't make the babies at 25 in the DC and close-in privates.

You don't think two pharmacists could afford one in private here, for example? My friends and I with kids in private schools all started families in our 20s. We don't live in upper NW but closer to other young professionals and young families like ourselves. Our mortgages are probably more modest. I'm honestly amazed that this you live in such a bubble.

You live in Virginia, right?

I don't find the idea of a private school parent having a child at 25 to be surprising. If you marry your college sweetheart after graduation, by 25 you would have been married for 3 years...that seems a rather normal timeframe between marriage and birth of first child. And in the DC area there are plenty of people who by 30 are making salaries high enough to afford private for 1child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the welcoming reception for K, I noticed that most parents look like they're in their 40s and maybe even 50s. In another thread a poster mentioned that s/he will be in their 40s when the kids graduate from high school. I will also be in my early 40s when my kid graduates from high school. What do you think is the average age of the parents at your kid's private?

So you had this kid when you were 25 years old? You live .... not in DC. Right? Atlanta maybe? South Carolina?

I cannot think of of one. single solitary woman I have ever met or known who had a child at 25 and could afford $35,000 a year tuition for that kid 5 years later. Even the trophy wives and trustafarians -- the not heavy hitters in their cAreers -- don't make the babies at 25 in the DC and close-in privates.

You don't think two pharmacists could afford one in private here, for example? My friends and I with kids in private schools all started families in our 20s. We don't live in upper NW but closer to other young professionals and young families like ourselves. Our mortgages are probably more modest. I'm honestly amazed that this you live in such a bubble.

You live in Virginia, right?

Never have and probably never will. You should really get out more.