no,no,no

If DH is not 100% on board with this then it is a bad idea. Do not take a lump sum from her. Have her pay rent instead.

Getting her to move in is not the problem. Getting her to move out when the time comes -- and to realize that the time has come -- that's the problem.

Anonymous wrote:Can you swing the home purchase without the money from her? If so, you can have her live with you in return for providing child care without quite as much of the unending obligation to live with you that might go along with her having helped purchase the house.

Over time, as she gets over the divorce, rebuilds her life, makes new friends, etc-she may be happier moving out and getting her own place.

This. Please don't take 30k from your mom and then have her babysit your kid for free.

Charge your mom rent not 30k. Ie, 800/month. Includes groceries whatever.

Does she need to work though? Does she need to make money to survive?

I would consider it depending on how you get along with your mother. Also, if she can have a space with her own kitchen or at least some place were she (and you) can have privacy would be a much better thing. Set up some ground rules before it happens. One thing my Mom has said, and to a degree I think she's right, its hard to have two adult women living in a house, because its hard to figure out who is running the house (I know that sounds sexist). She said that after living with her MIL for what was supposed to be an extended trip but ended in a two year arrangement while my parents were teachers overseas. The grand kids (me!) loved it though.

Nooooooo. This went poorly for me.

I wouldn't. Do you really want her around for every fight petty or otherwise with your husband? What will happen when she finds a new boyfriend? What will happen if you differ on parenting approaches as your child gets older? Will you be free to stay home with your child without you or grandma feeling bad? Being good with a baby is very different from the needs of an older child. Finally do you know why her marriage ended? Abandonment is an extreme way of looking at what happened. I am concerned you are not seeing things clearly and that you want to rescue your mom. That mentality won't serve anyone we'll. your mom is a grown woman not a puppy. Also money always makes life easier. Don't take hers. Money and family should never mix. If you can't afford to do this without her money don't do it.