Anonymous wrote:Please don't attempt to foster or adopt if you can't understand why reunification is important.

Exactly. OP is sooo predatory. A vulnerable child feels available to her and she resents that that child already has a parent? Just, no. You are not meant to foster.

Foster families are vulnerable families in crisis. Foster parents kindly step in to help those families. Foster parents who step in with the hopes that families will fail in trying to get better are vile

When I explored "foster-to-adopt" 15 years ago as a single person, I attended information sessions and met with social workers in several Virginia counties and in DC. I truly believe I was initially misinformed by several informational sessions and some of the social workers promoting the "adopt" more so than the "foster" needs of their programs. Admittedly one social worker told me they were so desperate for foster or respite homes, they emphasized the "adopt" to get more people interested!

I did go through a program but realized fostering a child with reunification goals would be too difficult for me, especially after seeing 2 acquaintance experience this heartbreak.

But now that my bio son is a teen, I'm planning to foster once he enters high school.

Honestly the reason is probably because the system is set up to benefit the children, and if people seeking to adopt through foster were able to easily adopt relatively undamaged kids (the kids that tend to come from the highest functioning houses, most likely to jump through the hoops and get their kids back) there would be no spaces in foster homes for more damaged kids

This thread is from 2014.

Why? Because there is a shortage of foster homes/adoptive parents who want to take it older kids/sibling groups. They are t exactly lining up around the block to adopt kids with probably have multiple issues.

Foster to adopt isn't a way to build a family. It's a low paying job that is spiritually rewarding. Getting a family is potentially side effect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't attempt to foster or adopt if you can't understand why reunification is important.

+1

You have a lot more research and thinking to do before you consider going down this path, OP.

Another +1. I’m a foster parent in MoCo. Kids belong with their first families unless they really can’t stay with them. My former foster kids’ parents loved the kids fiercely. Just as much as I love my own kids. But they weren’t able to safely care for the kids for reasons you’d imagine and reasons you might not even be able to imagine. Caring for kids while their parents get through crises, and then handing the kids back when the family is ready, it’s the most fulfilling thing and a blessing to have experienced being helpful in that way. Husband and I miss our foster kids but it’s not anguishing at all…they’re back where they belong. And no, it’s not perfect. Nobody’s family is perfect.

Anonymous wrote:I am trying and doing everything I am asked but the worker on this case is not referring me to do anything asked if the judge

Then do it on your own.

I am trying and doing everything I am asked but the worker on this case is not referring me to do anything asked if the judge

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the thoughtful responses. We are nowhere near the point of fostering yet but I am really asking a lot of questions. I can understand the high potential for reunification in cases where a parent is actively in treatment for addiction issues etc. I guess I was more unsure when it came to issues of severe physical abuse/neglect. I figure if a parent is acting that bad then they have such severe mental and emotional problems that it seems impossiblet o overcome. But I a PP made a point that almost all kids want to hope for the best in their families and maybe the devil you know is better than an unknown family. Very interesting topic and I have a ton a respect and admiration for foster families.

I'm answering this as a foster parent. I really think the answer is that the law requires reunification to be the initial goal except when certain circumstances are met (these circumstances are in the statute). I have had children come into my home where the social worker said at the beginning of the placement essentially that there was a very low probability of reunification working. But the parent is still given a service plan, and the county provides services to the parent. Now, whether or not they engage in services is a different story.

Anonymous wrote:The definition of "Reunification" can be quite broad. Social services contacted us with the invitation to adopt a baby girl from foster care on the basis that we had previously and privately adopted the little girl's older brother, and therefore we were considered family. The siblings met each for the first time when we brought our daughter home. We would say that we adopted from foster care, while social services has probably categorized this as a reunification.

I seriously doubt they considered that a reunification. They would have classified that as 'placement with relatives.'