Put her on a budget and take away her car keys

Do you end up throwing out a lot of food? That's a lot of money to spend on 3,even if she shops in WF.

Anonymous wrote:We have spending issues and for a family of 3 (2yr old kid) we spend over $1,200 at Trader Joes and Whole Foods. She refuses to shop at regular grocery stores. I bet it would cut our bill by $250-300 if she just went to Giant.

My wife does the same, at first I wasn't for it, but now I'm sort of a convert. Compare a cooked chicken from TJ to one from Giant. It's night and day in terms of taste and quality. We still shop at Giants for some things like soap, TP, etc., but buy very little of anything that is eaten, except Ritz crackers..lol.

OP - It sounds like that micromanaging your wife as if she were a child is not very productive and is just creating resentment.

Are you having a hard time making ends meet? Do you need to be saving more? If so, have a conversation with her about how to reach those goals and listen to her ideas, and come up with a mutually agreeable solution (maybe you cut your cable habit, she cuts other spending, which may or may not include grocery spending depending on what else is cut and how much you need to save).

If you can afford what she spends on groceries and are just offended by the amount of money she spends, or believe your saving rate should be higher, then that is a discussion about your goals as a family - whether they are in sync and how to get them closer in sync, which probably will include how you each feel about money.

honestly, I get it. I feel like the food quality and suppliers whole foods uses are better and I support their suppliers. I am very picky and I notice the differences in quality. I hate shopping at giant and safeway and I do read all the labels and can tell you the differences. all organic is not created equal, but sure some is. that said, if it is that important to her, she needs to follow a budget. so I would fight that more than the actual store.

she needs to get a little more creative maybe, more beans lentils, sale items for casseroles or soups. you need to compromise.

Anonymous wrote:I have the same issue with my DW, though not as bad. We have 2 kids, and she spends $900 to $1000 a month. And I probably spend another $100 or so. This includes bfast 6 days a week for 4, lunch maybe 1 day a week, and dinner maybe 5 days a week. We eat out the rest of the time. We are always throwing away food. Our freezer is stuffed with stuff that will never get eaten, and she regularly buys butter, cheeses, etc, that expire before they are eaten.

Butter can be frozen, There is no reason for it to ever go bad.

How about a compromise like Wegmans or Harris Teeter? They both have the prepared food, if that is what she likes at WF, and Wegmans has a lot of organic. Harris Teeter is cheaper than Safeway or Giant if you don't shop sale items and Wegmans is cheaper overall.

Due to your restaurant and store selections, I'm guessing you live in the middle of DC, so Wegmans would also make her plan ahead and bulk shop, which can save $.

I have the same issue with my DW, though not as bad. We have 2 kids, and she spends $900 to $1000 a month. And I probably spend another $100 or so. This includes bfast 6 days a week for 4, lunch maybe 1 day a week, and dinner maybe 5 days a week. We eat out the rest of the time. We are always throwing away food. Our freezer is stuffed with stuff that will never get eaten, and she regularly buys butter, cheeses, etc, that expire before they are eaten.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ask her why she does not want to shop at cheaper grocery stores?

Yes. She's of the impression that everything sold there is inferior. That the produce will end up giving our kid a 3rd arm. Even though you can buy organic from there. Hell you can buy organic at WalMart. But I'll settle for Giant since it's close enough. We're also spending another $400 a month of dining out at Crisp & Juicy, 2 Amys, MeiWah etc. This is bullshit. And when I brought it up she started yelling about not having time to cook etc.

OP, this is your problem, right here. Also, the fact that your DW is seriously misinformed. Dining out anywhere -- especially these places you've mentioned -- is, on the whole, less healthy and nutritious than cooking at home (assuming you're cooking real food, and not frozen pizzas), because of portion size, calorie and fat content and outrageous amounts of sodium.

Your wife is trying to have it both ways. One day she "doesn't have time to cook" and the next day she has to buy groceries from WF because they are so much healthier. Frankly, she doesn't know what she's talking about.

OP, do you willingly go to these restaurants with your family? Do you share in cooking duties? If not, don't complain.

This is just crazy to me. If the OP is the one bringing home the money that supports the family, he is absolutely allowed to be concerned when they are overspending on groceries. I have a similarly sized family (my kid is 4) and spend about $800 on groceries. That's BEFORE we go out to eat, which we do maybe once a week (ends up being about $60-80. Sometimes we really splurge and go out to dinner AND out to brunch on Sunday morning.

I agree that the OP should be able to trust his wife to not abuse the budget. It doesn't sound like he's able to do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ask her why she does not want to shop at cheaper grocery stores?

Yes. She's of the impression that everything sold there is inferior. That the produce will end up giving our kid a 3rd arm. Even though you can buy organic from there. Hell you can buy organic at WalMart. But I'll settle for Giant since it's close enough. We're also spending another $400 a month of dining out at Crisp & Juicy, 2 Amys, MeiWah etc. This is bullshit. And when I brought it up she started yelling about not having time to cook etc.

LOL Crisp & Juicy, should be the least expensive because it isn't the same as others. I actually prefer super chicken but that's another debate.

Why are you dining out so much if she is buying groceries to make meals?

OP, I had the same problem with an ex boyfriend who insisted that milk costs $1.75 a gallon and why were the food bills so high? When he tried a true shopping trip, a week's worth of meals, he was stunned.

If you haven't done so -go on one of those trips yourself, buy EVERYTHING needed, and you';ll see how much it is. THEN you can tell your wife that it should cost xyz instead of abc.

I (DH) do most of our grocery shopping. Giant is cheaper than TJ and WF overall. However, I also buy stuff on sale and Giant has better and more frequent sales. For example, I'll only buy avocados if they're on sale, and it's $1/each at Giant, and rarely that cheap at the others (also TJs has poor produce selection). Same with OJ, cheese, etc. Get it on sale. Then, I throw a few coupons in the mix and we save 25% off our bill at each Giant visit. I spend no more than 10 mins a week clipping coupons from Sunday's paper, and it's while DD is playing with the coupon pages I'm not using (scattering them around).

I cook at least half our dinners while DW is getting DD to bed. For meals, if I decide on fish, then it's whatever fish is on sale that week, and same with chicken or beef. I choose the cut that's on sale, and work with that. For DD, I'd say about 50-75% of her stuff we get organic, but sometimes it's difficult to find.

Giant gives you those "total saved this year" at the bottom of each receipt. I think we saved $1500 last year, for a family of 3 and DD wasn't even born yet for half of last year.

I only go to WF if there's a special produce item that Giant is sold out of (baby bok choy for example).

TJ I really dont' see the appeal. Most of their "good" stuff is the frozen and otherwise processed food. Their produce selection is very poor, and same with fresh meat/fish selection.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ask her why she does not want to shop at cheaper grocery stores?

Yes. She's of the impression that everything sold there is inferior. That the produce will end up giving our kid a 3rd arm. Even though you can buy organic from there. Hell you can buy organic at WalMart. But I'll settle for Giant since it's close enough. We're also spending another $400 a month of dining out at Crisp & Juicy, 2 Amys, MeiWah etc. This is bullshit. And when I brought it up she started yelling about not having time to cook etc.

OP, this is your problem, right here. Also, the fact that your DW is seriously misinformed. Dining out anywhere -- especially these places you've mentioned -- is, on the whole, less healthy and nutritious than cooking at home (assuming you're cooking real food, and not frozen pizzas), because of portion size, calorie and fat content and outrageous amounts of sodium.

Your wife is trying to have it both ways. One day she "doesn't have time to cook" and the next day she has to buy groceries from WF because they are so much healthier. Frankly, she doesn't know what she's talking about.

OP, do you willingly go to these restaurants with your family? Do you share in cooking duties? If not, don't complain.

OP, how are YOU cutting down on expenses?
Do YOU pack your own lunches?
Do YOU cook?
Do YOU plan meals?
This has to be a shared endeavor, not just a burden placed on one parent.

I think your criticism of your wife would come across much more gently if YOU took some responsibility for cutting the budget.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ask her why she does not want to shop at cheaper grocery stores?

Yes. She's of the impression that everything sold there is inferior. That the produce will end up giving our kid a 3rd arm. Even though you can buy organic from there. Hell you can buy organic at WalMart. But I'll settle for Giant since it's close enough. We're also spending another $400 a month of dining out at Crisp & Juicy, 2 Amys, MeiWah etc. This is bullshit. And when I brought it up she started yelling about not having time to cook etc.

OP, this is your problem, right here. Also, the fact that your DW is seriously misinformed. Dining out anywhere -- especially these places you've mentioned -- is, on the whole, less healthy and nutritious than cooking at home (assuming you're cooking real food, and not frozen pizzas), because of portion size, calorie and fat content and outrageous amounts of sodium.

Your wife is trying to have it both ways. One day she "doesn't have time to cook" and the next day she has to buy groceries from WF because they are so much healthier. Frankly, she doesn't know what she's talking about.