My son went to TJ and the junior year was very stressful. But when it came to college it was a breeze. He literally coasted through pre-med and was summa cum laude. He attributes a lot of his success to the rigorous academic demands and schedule he went through while at TJ.

I went to a SLAC and it was much harder for me than high school had been. There were many students who had gone to places like Exeter. They thought college was easier. Yet slacked off because they were burnt out and did not excel. I worked really hard and after the first year it got easier and I did well.

In an ideal world, high school should not cause burn out. College matters more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is at one of those privates where 3-4 hours of homework per night is the norm. Alumni at college who come back to visit the students almost all say that college is easier and far less stressful. And this is kids at Ivies and other top 25s.

Honestly, why would anyone do this to their kid?!?! 3 to 4 hours a night? That's horrific.

Hah. I had more like five hours a night.

Depends on the kid. Mine plays a sport, so it's only 2 hours a night. But DC has learned to be very efficient, so that has to pay off in college.

I think it depends on your major. I was a nursing major so in addition to all the classwork we had 7 hour hospital rotations a few days a week. We would have to be at the hospital at 7 am and then back for classes in the late afternoon. Engineering majors studied a lot also. Students in humanities and business had a lot of free time.

I went to college 20 years ago to a state VA school from a Catholic school. My first 2 years in college were very easy and mostly a repeat of high school for me. But students from other areas of the state who attended public high school actually found the coursework challenging. For example, I took History freshman year college and it was almost an exact repeat of History senior year in high school.

My baby wakes up later than my high school's first bell. Glad to see high schools moving away from early starts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is at one of those privates where 3-4 hours of homework per night is the norm. Alumni at college who come back to visit the students almost all say that college is easier and far less stressful. And this is kids at Ivies and other top 25s.

I would have to think that the college schedule is probably largely responsible for this.

I remember in college I had one semester where I only had class on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thuresdays. That meant a 4-day weekend all the time to do other things (homework, party, extra-curricular).

It's easier to manage a homework load when you're not "at school" from 7-3 every day of the week.

The schedule made a huge difference for me. The later start time was a much needed relief as well. Even now, I wake up later as a WOHP than I did as a teenager in high school.

I agree many kids at top colleges are driven, they just literally have much more time on their hands than they did coming out of competitive high schools. In high school I had some scheduled activity or homework all day. I also woke up earlier than my body was ready for (I am glad to see the trend of High Schools moving their start time back) and then couldn't sleep easily. I went to a highly regarded college and had a tough major, but most of my time crunches and late nights were still entirely of my own making.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did t everyone find college less stressful than high school. The work might be more challenging, but there is less pressure to do well when -- let's face it-- you don't have your parents on you everyday to do well so that you can get into a good college.

Well, not everyone's parents were "on them" in high school, and the pressure to do well for many kids is self-generated. My experience as a college psychololgist is that kids often bring their pressure-driven mindset to college with themfrom high school. Not all kids do,mind you, but many do. And then there's the pressure to do well to compete for internships, jobs after graduation and grad/professional schools. So no, not all kids find college less stressful than high school.

I agree completely. At the most competitive colleges, the kids are extremely self-driven. A PP mentioned her DH who is at Columbia, and my DC who is now there has a slightly different perspective that involves exactly this internal drive. Everyone has their own perspective, of course, and this isn't to take away from anybody else's perspective. But my DC, who came from an extremely competitive DMV-area public high school (don't want to name it because TMI), reports that almost everybody pushes themselves very hard for great grades, internships and jobs. This drive didn't go away between high school and freshman year at college. I'll leave aside Columbia-specific issues like one's attitude towards the core curriculum (DC loves the core, for the record). DC also thinks this self-drive is very different from the legendary cut-throat, competitive atmostphere you hear about at selective colleges--instead, DC tells us, most of the drive seems internal.

So I agree that, at certain colleges, much of the answer to "is it easier?" will depend on the kid's internal drive and whether they let up freshman year, or just keep pushing themselves. Also, as others have pointed out, we can't make generalizations without considering the college major--STEM vs. theater vs. required core classes. And let's not forget new pressures on the kid to manage things like time, laundry, and organizational and study skills, that the kid may not have had to deal with before.

Anonymous wrote:Did t everyone find college less stressful than high school. The work might be more challenging, but there is less pressure to do well when -- let's face it-- you don't have your parents on you everyday to do well so that you can get into a good college.

Well, not everyone's parents were "on them" in high school, and the pressure to do well for many kids is self-generated. My experience as a college psychololgist is that kids often bring their pressure-driven mindset to college with themfrom high school. Not all kids do,mind you, but many do. And then there's the pressure to do well to compete for internships, jobs after graduation and grad/professional schools. So no, not all kids find college less stressful than high school.

DH went to Sidwell and then to Columbia. Sidwell was much more of grind than Columbia, however Columbia (college, not engineering, divinity,'etc) was much more intellectually demanding. No surprise there if you know about the Core Curriculum