Anonymous wrote:OK PP here, I posted that I wouldn't have a man over the house. But why is it so horrible for a woman to have a lover, and for her kids to know that? I'm not talking about a revolving door of strange men in and out of the house. But if the child knows that mom has a boyfriend and they've been together for a while and they share a bed..... why is that so horrible? Now granted, nobody wants to walk in and see their mom - or dad - in flagrante delicto. But knowing from an early age that our moms are human beings with feelings who eat, drink, fart, and yes, even make love..... there's something about our knee jerk reaction to this that bothers me. Nobody seems to be weirded out about the kids being exposed to girlfriends when they visit dad.

I am. My brother is dating and sleeping with his fairly new girlfriend and it's driving his 13 year old son nuts. They even all shared a hotel room together recently. The kid is now acting out, got caught drunk, dropped all his sports and hobbies, failing most of his classes. He'd formerly been a straight A student.

Is it all because if his dad's new obsession with this woman? Maybe not. But the kids have to be the priority here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh geez. Door should have been locked but a child can walk in on married parents just as much as mom and boyfriend. Some couples are in serious relationships without marriage. Get over it.

Why should the child have to deal with that? They want daddy in the next room, not some strange guy who just wants sex.

Just wants sex =/= serious relationship.

If you're going to contribute to the conversation, it's helpful to pay attention to what you're arguing about.

OP said it was the mom's boyfriend, not some random dude so while you want to act holier than thou, just stop.

Married - yes sex with kids at home
Not married - NO SEX with kids at the home

Simple moral behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh geez. Door should have been locked but a child can walk in on married parents just as much as mom and boyfriend. Some couples are in serious relationships without marriage. Get over it.

Why should the child have to deal with that? They want daddy in the next room, not some strange guy who just wants sex.

Just wants sex =/= serious relationship.

If you're going to contribute to the conversation, it's helpful to pay attention to what you're arguing about.

OP said it was the mom's boyfriend, not some random dude so while you want to act holier than thou, just stop.

Anonymous wrote:I'd be more worried about what kind of friend, and person, you are, OP. Given that your friend openly told you what happened, either she thinks you're not going to judge, or doesn't care how you feel about her decision. So why is judging easier for you than being kind, OP?

Mom too lazy/horndy to lock the door, and child finds her screwing some guy? I love how the DCUM thinks tha'ts admirable behavoir.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh geez. Door should have been locked but a child can walk in on married parents just as much as mom and boyfriend. Some couples are in serious relationships without marriage. Get over it.

Why should the child have to deal with that? They want daddy in the next room, not some strange guy who just wants sex.

That's not true for every kid, certainly wasn't for me. I was a daddy's girl, but my parents were terrible together and happy (and more fun) apart.

I'd be more worried about what kind of friend, and person, you are, OP. Given that your friend openly told you what happened, either she thinks you're not going to judge, or doesn't care how you feel about her decision. So why is judging easier for you than being kind, OP?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh geez. Door should have been locked but a child can walk in on married parents just as much as mom and boyfriend. Some couples are in serious relationships without marriage. Get over it.

Why should the child have to deal with that? They want daddy in the next room, not some strange guy who just wants sex.

Just wants sex =/= serious relationship.

If you're going to contribute to the conversation, it's helpful to pay attention to what you're arguing about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh geez. Door should have been locked but a child can walk in on married parents just as much as mom and boyfriend. Some couples are in serious relationships without marriage. Get over it.

Why should the child have to deal with that? They want daddy in the next room, not some strange guy who just wants sex.

So a married couple with kids from prior relationships would be strangers to the step kids as well right?

Anonymous wrote:Oh geez. Door should have been locked but a child can walk in on married parents just as much as mom and boyfriend. Some couples are in serious relationships without marriage. Get over it.

Why should the child have to deal with that? They want daddy in the next room, not some strange guy who just wants sex.

Only when he brings a bag over.

J/K

Oh geez. Door should have been locked but a child can walk in on married parents just as much as mom and boyfriend. Some couples are in serious relationships without marriage. Get over it.

That should say "My mom having sex wasn't the biggest problem, it was my lack of respect for her privacy."

barging into their room*

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I walked in on my mom and her boyfriend when I was 9 and was traumatized...for two weeks. Then I got over it. I also learned to start knocking. Lesson learned.

I don't see the big deal if it's a serious relationship. I also think it's time to get over the prudish idea that parents are not supposed to have sex. Unless you waited until marriage with your spouse, it's completely hypocritical to pretend with kids that sex shouldn't occur outside of marriage.

A parent's sex life shouldn't be the child's problem. It should be invisible to them, and having a series of boyfriends come over sends a terrible message. Totally different for a husband /wife to be having sex in their home vs. a person who you are just dating.

What pp is saying is that having a moms boyfriend spend the night wasn't a problem for her.

Still doesn't make it right.

It wasn't wrong either. My mom having sex wasn't a problem for me. It was respecting her privacy. Funny enough, my dad used to complain about my barging into their when I was younger. Once my parents divorced, I felt like my mom's room was available to me whenever I felt like it. I can tell you that I never just walked in again. It would've been just as gross if it had been my dad and they were still married. I didn't like that my mom was sexually active. But I got over it.

I'm speaking only of sex within a longterm relationship, which I stated above, so having a "series of boyfriends" is a different discussion. Not that it matters, but they eventually broke up years later because my mom wasn't ready to remarry or have more kids and he wanted a family.

OK PP here, I posted that I wouldn't have a man over the house. But why is it so horrible for a woman to have a lover, and for her kids to know that? I'm not talking about a revolving door of strange men in and out of the house. But if the child knows that mom has a boyfriend and they've been together for a while and they share a bed..... why is that so horrible? Now granted, nobody wants to walk in and see their mom - or dad - in flagrante delicto. But knowing from an early age that our moms are human beings with feelings who eat, drink, fart, and yes, even make love..... there's something about our knee jerk reaction to this that bothers me. Nobody seems to be weirded out about the kids being exposed to girlfriends when they visit dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What, Mama can't get laid?

Yeah, when kid is with his dad.

Not all kids have a dad.

Then she should get a babysitter.