Anonymous wrote:You are within your right to not want to cook or do laundry for him. Would you want him to treat you in the same way, "I'm making burgers, but I won't make one for you?" And if so, why do you want to still live with him? Your son will pick up on the coldness. Even if it rolls off him, why do *you* want to live like that? It sounds miserably lonely.

I think you are right.
The more I think about it the more I think I need to understand what I really want...I am hurt by many things he did, love and respect are gone, but living as roommates doesn't really seem possible. I tried to fix it for some time (incl.indiv.therapy) but its just not working.

You could of course rent an apartment and receive mail there and sleep there maybe 2-3 nights a week. The idea is to separate accounts and establish a separate domicile which does wonders in terms of establishing that you are really separated.

If you do leave do so under lawyer's advice, you don't want him to suddenly become father of the year and you become evil witch.

You are within your right to not want to cook or do laundry for him. Would you want him to treat you in the same way, "I'm making burgers, but I won't make one for you?" And if so, why do you want to still live with him? Your son will pick up on the coldness. Even if it rolls off him, why do *you* want to live like that? It sounds miserably lonely.

Anonymous wrote:What state allows divorce without separation??? Are you sure about that?

Connecticut doesn't have separation. Just 90 day waiting period (doesn't matter if same or different residence) and divorce. You can't file for 'separation'.

Anonymous wrote:OP here- if things come to a point of seriously dating someone- then of course we would separate.
I am now more concerned about the financial side.

If you really want a divorce, man up and move out. Start your life without the faux alimony of living with your ex. The world's not going to end if Junior can't take karate this year, or whatever.