I am 29 and my bf of 3 yrs will be 45 at the end of May. I'm very happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here! Thanks for all this input!! I agree that there is a lot to think about but I am very tempted to go out with him! I also thought the toddler was a hint that he only dated younger women but thanks for google I can see he has been divorced 1.5 years and his ex is 44. They were married 10 years. I think I am going to suggest something simple like lunch with the kids where its a playdate more so than a date.

I think you should go! But no kids. Way too soon.

OP here. We know each other through our kids (same daycare and they both go in the playroom at our gym) thats the only reason why I said this but maybe your right?? Also I am sure the online info is correct regarding his age because its all via divorce court documents not "whitepages" or anything like that. Still deciding on whether to go or not. Thanks for all the input.

Anonymous wrote:OP here! Thanks for all this input!! I agree that there is a lot to think about but I am very tempted to go out with him! I also thought the toddler was a hint that he only dated younger women but thanks for google I can see he has been divorced 1.5 years and his ex is 44. They were married 10 years. I think I am going to suggest something simple like lunch with the kids where its a playdate more so than a date.

I think you should go! But no kids. Way too soon.

Anonymous wrote:Way too old. You don't want to spend your precious time in the future being an old man's nurse. You have so many good years ahead of you. Him, not so much. Plus why does he have a toddler when he is almost a senior citizen. I'm sure you can do much better.

Whoa, while I don't disagree with your points, 49 is not almost a senior citizen, thank you very much!

Anonymous wrote:I just googled myself, and it says I'm 40 years older then I am! Ha!

Those info sites seem to know my real age, but they think I live somewhere I haven't lived in almost 10 years--and they think my deceased grandmother, who would be 95 if she were still alive, is 22!

I would never have dated a much older guy when I was single because (1) I'm almost never attracted to older men, or even young men who look older than they are, and (2) it was essential to me that my partner be a peer and have had similar life experiences. A guy who's lived 20 years longer than I have is going to have had far more life experiences than I have, and in a different context.

Also, I agree with those who are saying they wouldn't want to be dealing with an older spouse's health issues in their 40s or early 50s. Of course anyone can develop a serious illness at any time, but it's more likely if that person is older.

Way too old. You don't want to spend your precious time in the future being an old man's nurse. You have so many good years ahead of you. Him, not so much. Plus why does he have a toddler when he is almost a senior citizen. I'm sure you can do much better.

I'd be worried about low T.

Also, considering your sexual peak happens in your late 30s-40s...how would it feel being stuck screwing grandpa?

I'm recently divorced, 42 with two 12 year olds and am seeing someone who is 58. He's a widower (4 years) and has a 13 year old son. He and I work at the same organization but not directly together. I'm with the "life stage" posters. Our kids go to the same school, are involved in similar activities, etc. When we get the boys together, they talk school, soccer, MineCraft, make fun of our mutual taste in music/movies, etc.

I do have concerns about our age difference but not enough to not see him. He's a great father, a really grounded and kind person, and we have great chemistry. Works for me.

Go on the date, and ask him his age. If he is 49, then don't continue. If he is 41, then maybe continue. I just googled myself, and it says I'm 40 years older then I am! Ha! Well, anyone looking then wouldn't know my real age.

DH is 18 years older than me. He looked like he was my age when we met! Such an age difference is bound to create problems down the road - I have not encountered any of them yet (DH is 52), but it will happen, and I will have to face them.

Anonymous wrote:OP here! Thanks for all this input!! I agree that there is a lot to think about but I am very tempted to go out with him! I also thought the toddler was a hint that he only dated younger women but thanks for google I can see he has been divorced 1.5 years and his ex is 44. They were married 10 years. I think I am going to suggest something simple like lunch with the kids where its a playdate more so than a date.

Eh, just me, but I would hold off on the kids thing. Just you two meet. Yes he married and reproduced with someone his age but now that he is single again, he may be looking for a pretty young thing, going through mid life crisis.

OP here! Thanks for all this input!! I agree that there is a lot to think about but I am very tempted to go out with him! I also thought the toddler was a hint that he only dated younger women but thanks for google I can see he has been divorced 1.5 years and his ex is 44. They were married 10 years. I think I am going to suggest something simple like lunch with the kids where its a playdate more so than a date.

If you want a short-term fling / roll in the hay, the old guy might be fun. But if you're looking for something longer term, I'd find someone closer to your age.

Anonymous wrote:What do ppl think of the fact that they both have a toddler? That puts you in a similar life stage that may outweigh chronological years?

ding, ding ding. It's about life stage, not age.

Anonymous wrote:I would go for it. When I first met my first husband I didn't think he was that much older, we dated and after I had fallen for him like crazy I realized he was 16 years older! I was 20 and he was 36....We got married and he was the most wonderful husband in the world. Loved me and treated me like a queen.

+1 except ours is a .... wait for it... 24 year gap. I look old for my age, he looks young. Everyone assumes there is only a 7-10 year gap (ouch to me).