Anonymous
Post 01/29/2014 15:40     Subject: Re:Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here: Thank you all for the support. Brother barred the door and threatened my mother when we tried to intervene. It took us awhile to figure out what was going on and to what extent. The money is not significant, and I do not need it, but it hurts me that he is the recipient of the moneys after what he did to her. Yes, the police were very nice, but there was not a lot they could do. After the tragic fall, the brother bowed out and just waited for the payday. We did not know about the will. Note I said, sent the will to him, not to the rest of the family. Members of the family tried many times to help but he was always either threatening or wheedling -- what ever it took. All I can say is go with your gut if you feel this is happening to a loved one (including your kids)


Is it a self proving will? If not, consider challenging it.

As to the PP talking about a murderer, dep. on cause of death, hard to establish that the brother murdered her, but we don't have enough facts re that.

That is exactly what the police said. So difficult (for them) to tell between an accident and a deliberate act. She did not die right away either. Yes, she was failed by the family.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2014 15:03     Subject: Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think all the parents on DCUM concerned that their only child does not have a sibling, should read this thread. I have often said that having a sibling is not a recipe for a built-in friend.


+1
I know this comment is off topic for this thread, but that is exactly what I was thinking.


really? I think this is a thread that shows the value of siblings. If the brother had been an only child, there would have not been anyone else checking in on mom or going to the police and getting him removed as caretaker when the accident happened. At least in this case, Op and her other sibling were able to have some contact and step in at various moments. They are also fulfilling roles (i.e. executor of the estate) and were also involved in arranging care when her brother bowed out. Seems to me life would have been much worse for the OPs mom if the brother had been an only child.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2014 14:56     Subject: Re:Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here: Thank you all for the support. Brother barred the door and threatened my mother when we tried to intervene. It took us awhile to figure out what was going on and to what extent. The money is not significant, and I do not need it, but it hurts me that he is the recipient of the moneys after what he did to her. Yes, the police were very nice, but there was not a lot they could do. After the tragic fall, the brother bowed out and just waited for the payday. We did not know about the will. Note I said, sent the will to him, not to the rest of the family. Members of the family tried many times to help but he was always either threatening or wheedling -- what ever it took. All I can say is go with your gut if you feel this is happening to a loved one (including your kids)


Is it a self proving will? If not, consider challenging it.

As to the PP talking about a murderer, dep. on cause of death, hard to establish that the brother murdered her, but we don't have enough facts re that.


p.s. you mention the will seeming to have been written in 2 parts -- if the original was prepared by a lawyer, properly witnessed, etc., but the latter part (a codicil maybe?) written apparently by the drunken (?) father was not, the latter part may be invalid. Again, we don't have sufficient facts to know.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2014 14:54     Subject: Re:Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
Anonymous wrote:OP here: Thank you all for the support. Brother barred the door and threatened my mother when we tried to intervene. It took us awhile to figure out what was going on and to what extent. The money is not significant, and I do not need it, but it hurts me that he is the recipient of the moneys after what he did to her. Yes, the police were very nice, but there was not a lot they could do. After the tragic fall, the brother bowed out and just waited for the payday. We did not know about the will. Note I said, sent the will to him, not to the rest of the family. Members of the family tried many times to help but he was always either threatening or wheedling -- what ever it took. All I can say is go with your gut if you feel this is happening to a loved one (including your kids)


Is it a self proving will? If not, consider challenging it.

As to the PP talking about a murderer, dep. on cause of death, hard to establish that the brother murdered her, but we don't have enough facts re that.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2014 14:47     Subject: Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
Anonymous wrote:It's over. Mourn your mother. disown your brother. Mistakes were made by everyone involved and hindsight is always 20/20. Nothing can be changed so focus on moving ahead in your own way. Vengeance and guilt will not change anything.


+ a zillion
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2014 14:07     Subject: Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
I can't wrap my brain around how badly this mother was failed by so many people.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2014 13:09     Subject: Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
Anonymous wrote:I think all the parents on DCUM concerned that their only child does not have a sibling, should read this thread. I have often said that having a sibling is not a recipe for a built-in friend.


+1
I know this comment is off topic for this thread, but that is exactly what I was thinking.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2014 13:02     Subject: Re:Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
Anonymous wrote:OP: I wish it were over. I am the executor of the estate. The whole thing is making me very sad.


If you are not inheriting anything and have no reason to benefit, you don't have to act as executor. Decline the appointment.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2014 08:31     Subject: Re:Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
OP: I wish it were over. I am the executor of the estate. The whole thing is making me very sad.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2014 07:07     Subject: Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
It's over. Mourn your mother. disown your brother. Mistakes were made by everyone involved and hindsight is always 20/20. Nothing can be changed so focus on moving ahead in your own way. Vengeance and guilt will not change anything.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2014 23:27     Subject: Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
Was there a life insurance payout as well? If so, the investigations department of the insurance company would be interested in your story.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2014 23:08     Subject: Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, elder abuse laws have been in effect and you had an obligation, legally and morally, to report your brother the moment he told you he attempted tomurder your mother. You are guilty too.


This. Very sad. No excuse.

Moron.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2014 23:08     Subject: Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
Anonymous wrote:OP, elder abuse laws have been in effect and you had an obligation, legally and morally, to report your brother the moment he told you he attempted tomurder your mother. You are guilty too.


Why thank you, dear. Work on that reading comprehension-- the next time someone says " I'd like to kill someone!" just run down to the nearest police station and tell your story. I am sure they will be very happy to see you. Its your legal and moral obligation.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2014 19:55     Subject: Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
Anonymous wrote:OP, elder abuse laws have been in effect and you had an obligation, legally and morally, to report your brother the moment he told you he attempted tomurder your mother. You are guilty too.


This. Very sad. No excuse.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2014 19:35     Subject: Brother abuses elderly mother. Pushes her down the stairs in a moment of anger, crippling her
OP, elder abuse laws have been in effect and you had an obligation, legally and morally, to report your brother the moment he told you he attempted tomurder your mother. You are guilty too.