Anonymous wrote:Here it goes. Recently moved in with bf after several months of dating, we both have children from previous relationships. He had not told the ex that we were in a relationship before moving in and then she finds out through the kids that we moved in together, hell broke loose. Now she claims to be pregnant with his child, math would make it that she's due in the next couple of months, since they fooled around before we began dating. She calls him crying asking him to take her back, he keeps taking her calls and i've told him how i feel disrespected. He keeps turning it back on him saying how do i think he feels going through all of this. I've hit my breaking point, but we literally just moved in and signed a 12 month lease, where do we even go from here, neither of us could afford this home on our own. I walked in on a conversation he was having with her and i just lost it and told him lets tell her the truth about it all, and obviously she heard the converstion and now claims she's not letting the kids come over until there's a home study because we have problems in the home. He's staying in the basement in the meantime, claims we are done because i walked in on the conversation and blew up. I've told him how I felt and how this whole situation is making me act out of my character and how am i supposed to react. I don't know which direction to go to, he basically says i fucked it all up and that bc of my feelings he has his back against the wall concerning his kids, that i've brought more harm to the situation than help or assitance, unnecessary harm he calls it. I am just lost in what direction I am supposed to go in, any advice is greatly appreciated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what the best outcome is, i don't have a solution as of yet, I am reflecting on my entire life and what is ahead. If I could have anything I'd want for her to not be pregnant or at the very least not his, as sick of a game that would be on her part. Two weeks before us.

I want to say first that I am sorry fornthenpain you are in now. I bluntly said itnisnuour fault earlier, and I stand by that, but it also sounds like your man is a lying scumbag and that you are just trying to find love, however irresponsibly, and it sounds like you really believe seven months is a long enough time to really know someone. You don't know him well enough. This is a tough lesson.

I'll be your fairy godmother for a minute here. Let's pretend I can wave a magic wand for you:

1) his ex calls tonight and admits that she's not pregnant at all and that she just made it up to trap him. She apologizes to you for causing strife and trying to steal your man.
2) Your man admits he was wrong to be mad at you and says he still wants to live together.

Does that sound good to you? Good for your daughter? Really? Beside BEST CASE MAGIC WAND scenario, you're left with a man who admits having sex with the mother of his children at least once within the past 8 months. You're left with a man who has so little contact with the mother of his children that he wouldn't actually know whether or not she is 8 months pregnant. You're left with having entered into a year-long contract with a man you have known for less than a year who hasn't even been sexually exclusive with you for longer than 8 months. You are left with a man who is still sexually involved and emotionally enmeshed with the mother of his children.

You are left with a man with such bad judgment that he would have sex with the kind of deceptive, dishonest, disturbed person who would lie about pregnancy and attempt to coerce him into parenting a child that is not his, a woman whose character should be well known to him by now because he has had multiple children with and shares custody with her.

You are left with a man who has so little regard for the mother of his children, so little regard for his children, that he does not bother to inform her of his living situation.

You are left with a man who is so irresponsible about his sperm, and about protecting himself and you from disease, that he would have ha unprotected sex.

This is the best you can do for yourself and your child, even with the assistance of a fairy godmother?

Please wish for better for the both of you.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what the best outcome is, i don't have a solution as of yet, I am reflecting on my entire life and what is ahead. If I could have anything I'd want for her to not be pregnant or at the very least not his, as sick of a game that would be on her part. Two weeks before us.

Anonymous wrote:PP again. If your boyfriend and his ex are to make peace then they need to meet and have a long discussion and hash all of this out. He needs to operate like an adult, face the music and communicate with her about the status of his relationship with you and her pregnancy with their child, what his expectations are, what hers are...though his track record in conducting himself in an adult manner is not good.
You must not stand in the way of this. You can't make this go away. It's not just you and your boyfriend in a bubble - it's his ex and their children and yours, whether you like it or not. You seem to want what you want and are not seeing the whole picture.

Anonymous wrote:I did not move in with someone i do not know, we have spent every day together for the last 7 months, he has been around my family and vice versa, if he was not someone i trusted i would have never moved in. It is my fault for how I am reacting to the situation yes, however who is to ever expect or prepare themselves for the reactions of someone else, who would have predicted how she would have acted?

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what the best outcome is, i don't have a solution as of yet, I am reflecting on my entire life and what is ahead. If I could have anything I'd want for her to not be pregnant or at the very least not his, as sick of a game that would be on her part. Two weeks before us.

Anonymous wrote:
1. Your boyfriend MUST get a paternity test.

2. You must not live with him and his family while this gets sorted out, and since you have ALL behaved outrageously by hiding important information from each other (pregnancy, moving in, etc).

Anonymous wrote:Not true, I have full custody of my child on my own. He shares his custody.