Maybe OP has real problems she should be addressing. and this serves as an escape.

My nieces and nephew call my MIL and FIL different names. It's no big deal, OP.

It is none of your business what her child calls MIL. But if she is feeding YOUR child, as opposed to hers, a different name, I think it is fine to say, "Little Bobby is used to calling her "Nana" (or whatever). I know it isn't your favorite or what you plan for your child to call her, but until he indicates a desire to do otherwise, Little Bobby's going to stick with Nana for now."

I'm like your SIL. We don't like the name my mil chose for her grandma name and so we don't use it. She is just Grandma Her Name. She handled it gracefully when another grandkid asked her why my son didn't call her Odd Name. She said "he can call me whatever he likes".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think SIL is being disrespectful. I grew up calling each grandmother "grandma name." "Grandma" was just more common than nanna or anything else. It's really not a big deal

If your grandma sue wanted to be called nana, but your mom decided that she didn't like that and insisted that you call her grandma sue instead of nana, you don't think that your mom is being disrespectful to your mother in law?

It's not disrespectful. You don't get everything you want in life.

Once SIL child is old enough to talk your MIL simply needs to correct the child when he/she calls her "grandma sue" and say I'm you Nana / Grammy / whatever your child currently calls her. It's really not hard.

My SIL tried to do the same thing - it's her mother who wanted to be Grammy, not my first choice but whatever I don't really care. She wanted change what the kids called her when she finally had kids - my kids were 3&5 so Grammy was pretty set in stone and she wasn't going to just become Nana because that was my SIL prefrance. My SIL tried the whole nana bit intil her mother finally told her to get over herself & that her kids could call her Grammy just like everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute. Your SIL does not yet have a child. You're mad that she doesnt currently use a Grandma name for her MIL? Of course she should keep calling MIL "Firstname", now and even when her baby is born. It's her child that will call the woman a grandma name, not her.

OMG, reading comprehension. SIL has stated that she WILL NOT use the name IN THE FUTURE and will instead INSTRUCT HER CHILD to call MIL "GRANDMA FIRSTNAME." I swear you people are either drunk or high or just plain stupid half the time on here. Which has nothing to do with the actual opinions, but at least take 5 seconds to figure out what it is you are being asked to offer an opinion ON before posting.

Op here. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your child, OP?

4

Thanks. I asked because I'd think that most of us parents would have many more important issues to deal with, rather than something like this.

Wow. Another supportive parent reaching out to those who ask for help.

What "help" did you want, OP?

She needs help feeling justified about manufacturing drama against her SIL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute. Your SIL does not yet have a child. You're mad that she doesnt currently use a Grandma name for her MIL? Of course she should keep calling MIL "Firstname", now and even when her baby is born. It's her child that will call the woman a grandma name, not her.

OMG, reading comprehension. SIL has stated that she WILL NOT use the name IN THE FUTURE and will instead INSTRUCT HER CHILD to call MIL "GRANDMA FIRSTNAME." I swear you people are either drunk or high or just plain stupid half the time on here. Which has nothing to do with the actual opinions, but at least take 5 seconds to figure out what it is you are being asked to offer an opinion ON before posting.

Actually, OP is upset that SIL refers to grandma by a different name than her son is used to, thus confusing her precious snowflake.

From the OP:

Yes it bothers me that my SIL feeds a different name to my son, who knows his grandmother By a different name, but I have never corrected her. And I'm not sure that MIL has ever heard it. Don't just to conclusions. All I asked is it I should stay out of it.

OP, get a grip. Seriously. Give your son a little credit. He's not a moron and will not be confused/scarred by this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your child, OP?

4

Thanks. I asked because I'd think that most of us parents would have many more important issues to deal with, rather than something like this.

Wow. Another supportive parent reaching out to those who ask for help.

What "help" did you want, OP?

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute. Your SIL does not yet have a child. You're mad that she doesnt currently use a Grandma name for her MIL? Of course she should keep calling MIL "Firstname", now and even when her baby is born. It's her child that will call the woman a grandma name, not her.

OMG, reading comprehension. SIL has stated that she WILL NOT use the name IN THE FUTURE and will instead INSTRUCT HER CHILD to call MIL "GRANDMA FIRSTNAME." I swear you people are either drunk or high or just plain stupid half the time on here. Which has nothing to do with the actual opinions, but at least take 5 seconds to figure out what it is you are being asked to offer an opinion ON before posting.

FIL's wife asked if she could be called X, and u replied that that was the name that we had always used in my moms side of the family and we planned to do that name with my mom, my grandmother (all my grandparents still living), etc. she said ok.

Unfortunately, she was drunk at the time (as is the norm with her--has been to rehab but that just resulted in FIL getting rid of the booze so she's switched to two-buck chuck) and promptly forgt the conversation and started to refer to herself as X, but we don't see them that often and DH and I only refer to her by her first name so it hasn't really mattered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute. Your SIL does not yet have a child. You're mad that she doesnt currently use a Grandma name for her MIL? Of course she should keep calling MIL "Firstname", now and even when her baby is born. It's her child that will call the woman a grandma name, not her.

You don't think that when she is speaking with my son that she should use the name my MIL requested and that my son has been using for four years?

No.

This comment (from OP, presumably) makes it sound as if she's more concerned about confusing her son that whether SIL is disrespectful to MIL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute. Your SIL does not yet have a child. You're mad that she doesnt currently use a Grandma name for her MIL? Of course she should keep calling MIL "Firstname", now and even when her baby is born. It's her child that will call the woman a grandma name, not her.

You don't think that when she is speaking with my son that she should use the name my MIL requested and that my son has been using for four years?

Stop. The world needs less manufactured family drama. Is it a little stupid that she just won't play along? Maybe. Is it even worth a thread this long on an anonymous msg board? No. If your SIL is calling your mother by her given name, just not by whatever "bubby" or "grammy" thing she made up, it isn't disrespectful.

When even 10 people on DCUM agree on something, stop arguing with them/restoking the thread.

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute. Your SIL does not yet have a child. You're mad that she doesnt currently use a Grandma name for her MIL? Of course she should keep calling MIL "Firstname", now and even when her baby is born. It's her child that will call the woman a grandma name, not her.

You don't think that when she is speaking with my son that she should use the name my MIL requested and that my son has been using for four years?