Anonymous
Post 12/31/2013 09:44     Subject: Re:Mensa
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I got a ranting long email about how she's driving her crazy and she's basically failing 1st grade.


This sounds inappropriate and highly unusual for a teacher to communicate in this way.





NP

LOL. She's just frustrated. Teachers hear a lot of talk about "gifted" from parents, so when they get one of these kids, they don't believe the parents. Then they get the crazy, genius child in the classroom and don't know what to do. The kid is outside their experience and training. A little patience and advice and help from the parents will help the teacher get centered and get the classroom situation under control.

My profoundly gifted, 2E son nearly broke his 5th grade teacher. He DID break the directoress of his Montessori primary (1-3) school. Both of them had 30+ years of experience, but they ultimately threw up their hands and said "I've never had a kid like this." I tried to warn them at the start of the year, but they didn't listen.

I don't let my crazy, genius child run wild at home, and if the teachers listen to my advice, I can help them get him under control at school, but if they don't listen to advice, I can't help them.


For some profoundly gifted, 2E kids, homeschooling is truly the only way to go. The teachers cannot cater to only one child in a class and the child needs what the school is not set up to provide, so sometimes an individual education at home is the only way for the PG child to get what he needs.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2013 09:30     Subject: Re:Mensa
Anonymous wrote:
I got a ranting long email about how she's driving her crazy and she's basically failing 1st grade.


This sounds inappropriate and highly unusual for a teacher to communicate in this way.





NP

LOL. She's just frustrated. Teachers hear a lot of talk about "gifted" from parents, so when they get one of these kids, they don't believe the parents. Then they get the crazy, genius child in the classroom and don't know what to do. The kid is outside their experience and training. A little patience and advice and help from the parents will help the teacher get centered and get the classroom situation under control.

My profoundly gifted, 2E son nearly broke his 5th grade teacher. He DID break the directoress of his Montessori primary (1-3) school. Both of them had 30+ years of experience, but they ultimately threw up their hands and said "I've never had a kid like this." I tried to warn them at the start of the year, but they didn't listen.

I don't let my crazy, genius child run wild at home, and if the teachers listen to my advice, I can help them get him under control at school, but if they don't listen to advice, I can't help them.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2013 09:01     Subject: Re:Mensa
I got a ranting long email about how she's driving her crazy and she's basically failing 1st grade.


This sounds inappropriate and highly unusual for a teacher to communicate in this way.

In terms of the reading in the corner, that sounds similar to the way my teachers handled me in elementary school. I was allowed to bring any book I wanted to school and could read to my heart's content when I finished my work before the other kids. I loved it because the books I chose from the library were a better fit for my reading level and much more engaging and challenging than the regular school work. I'm convinced that my later high SAT scores (National Merit Finalist) were mostly due to my hours of reading as a child.

Then in 2nd we are doing better but I can tell the teacher is annoyed wiht her disorganization, messy desk, asking too many questions, trying to continue classroom discussions forever and into way more depth than planned and correcting the her. My DD can't understand why it's wrong to correct the teacher if she is factually wrong or not clear on a subject. She says she's just trying to have a conversation with the teacher about the subject. While we explain it's rude and she should write her thoughs down and show it to the teacher later or just tell us about it she doesn't seem to get it and I really can't blame her. She just lives in a world that she craves information as much as she likes sharing it.


Intelligence is only one aspect of a child's growth and development that we as parents are responsible for supporting. As your child is quite advanced in academics, this could be a good time to focus more on her development of organizational and social skills. One way to help her might be to role-play some of the situations where she seems to be missing other's social cues. Children role-play and pretend all the time, so it will seem to be just a fun game to your daughter, but might be helpful to her in negotiating awkward situations in daily life.

Anonymous
Post 12/31/2013 07:19     Subject: Mensa
1) AAP will be good. She should qualify. If not, appeal (I am assuming FFX County). Not every kid in there is like DD, but at a center, she will not be alone. And the work is really geared to allowing each child to work at his abilities (ok, excepting 5th grade).

2) Mense -- I never understood it; I qualify based on IQ (150), but never joined. People that go to places like MENSA and think it is an accomplishment are wrong. Bragging about MENSA is like bragging about being 6'6"...nothing you did, but your genetics. Maybe we can have a group for people with genetically high cholesterol. With effort, some people can joint the 350+ club....just takes a lot of bacon.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2013 07:03     Subject: Mensa
Anonymous wrote:to OP, I'm 12:57 back - the second poster, adult member of Mensa, who didn't think much of Mensa. When I checked into it for my Aspie daughter who qualified, there was nothing available for children's get-togethers - at least in our area. You might want to check Facebook - some of the regional Mensa groups have pages and outings but I haven't participated. Our local chapter is not active for children.

I hear what you are saying about wanting your child to find bright kids to play with but I truly don't think Mensa is the way to go about it. I like 22:04's comments. I wouldn't push. Just provide enrichment. Above all, don't give her a big head or make her think she is "special" above all other kids. My I.Q. is 183 and I led a pretty normal child's life except that I taught myself to read at 2, which made public school boring for the first few years. But I found things that interested me and learned that I excelled at school so gained confidence grade-by-grade that i was good at academics but my parents never told me that I was gifted or what my I.Q. was. I had many many friends - from girls scouts and public school activites. I gave three valedictorian speeches until finally beaten out out of the no. 1 slot at Harvard Law. I think self-discovery is the best way to go. I only recently learned that I have eidetic memory which explains a lot (you might want to research that re: your daughter - a lot of research work is being done in memory now). Just give her the gift of time and enroll her in a bunch of fun summer courses, dance, art, girl scouts, etc. When she is older there will be too much homework so let her have some fun now and build self-confidence. And make diverse friends.


My concern is that she is not necessarily doing well in the classroom. It's hard for me to actually tell. The K teacher really challenged her and she loved school. She warned us that 1st and 2nd were going to be challenging. In 1st the teacher loved her at the beginning of the year, hated her by the middle of the year. I got a ranting long email about how she's driving her crazy and she's basically failing 1st grade. This was only after I emailed her to ask why she was getting sent to the reading corner for time outs so often - DD was delighted she got to read all day by herself. Then in 2nd we are doing better but I can tell the teacher is annoyed wiht her disorganization, messy desk, asking too many questions, trying to continue classroom discussions forever and into way more depth than planned and correcting the her. My DD can't understand why it's wrong to correct the teacher if she is factually wrong or not clear on a subject. She says she's just trying to have a conversation with the teacher about the subject. While we explain it's rude and she should write her thoughs down and show it to the teacher later or just tell us about it she doesn't seem to get it and I really can't blame her. She just lives in a world that she craves information as much as she likes sharing it. From what little I've read there are different types of gifted personalities and while you sound more like the kind that figured out the system and makes it work for them, she's the kid that somewhat oblivious to the systems but slowly realizing it doesn't meet her needs or care about her.

This is why I'm so concerned.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2013 06:51     Subject: Mensa
Anonymous wrote:My DS joined MENSA when he was 8 (in order to find other fast learners in the N. Va area) but there weren't much activities back when DS was a member. I think the local chapter is more active now although he has not been a member for couple years now. DS also took CTY summer classes which helped. CTY-SET also holds some get togethers for kids/pre-teens as well. Fairfax Math Circle should help for kids interested in math and subject acceleration or grade skipping should be considered as well. TJ was the only place DS encountered some academic challenge and other quirky/smart kids. ES/MS was definitely too easy and most kids were not understanding his jokes, interests, puzzles etc. Good luck!


This is a lot of great information and thanks for the resources.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2013 06:50     Subject: Mensa
Anonymous wrote:OP,

It really sounds as if your daughter is one of those rare gifted children. That word is bandied about so carelessly these days, but gifted children are no more numerous now than before.

They can have a difficult childhood, honestly. My gifted cousin was a social outcast all through her schooling until she quickly got 2 PhDs (in her early 20s) and finally found an eclectic group of friends who accepted her for who she was. She treks all around the world with some of them!

Also, I think my cousin took a longer time than average to feel comfortable around other people and really make friends just because most of the normal people she met seemed SO SLOW. This is how the world appeared to her - full of the most slow-witted disconnected people imaginable! She had to learn to be patient, tolerant and understanding to an incredible degree.

So realize that all this will take time.
My son is gifted and learning disabled - another kettle of fish! At 6, he accepted that he was different. At 7, he asked me: "what is a friend?" I was a little heartbroken, but we constantly work on assuring him that we value him and that one day he will find soulmates that value him too.

Good luck. You can try the Mensa thing, and see if you can connect to other young members.



Thanks. It's hard to talk about this with anyone because most people assume you are bragging. The funny thing is that we are more concerned with her and have more issues with her than with our other DC. Our 2nd DC in my opinion is smart, but just not the same as our DD. She's just different and we've been told that by many people from a very early age. Our ped, friends that are child psychs, relatives and friends that teach gifted, etc. We didn’t really get it right away since she was our first, but then with our second we actually were concerned he was delayed. The ped just kind of laughed and said no you first is just not a good measurement. So we quickly learned that we can't compare the two in terms of expectations.

Stories like your cousin are also comforting because I know at some point she'll find her niche. I'm just worried about guiding her through these years and hoping she understands that she has a gift that should be used and not hidden away just to fit in. She does need to work harder than most her age at social skills but I think she's catching on and we'll continue to support her in this area as well.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2013 06:43     Subject: Re:Mensa
Never met a Mensa person that wasn't weird. In the very weird sense.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2013 06:39     Subject: Re:Mensa
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here - I probably should have clarified her age. She's 7, almost 8. She qualifies based on her NNAT score.

I'm really looking for additional resources and maybe some other kids her age that are "weird" like her. While she has friends at school, she realizes that she's different and being called weird by the other kids is really starting to get to her. I'd like her to know there are other kids out there like her and I thought this might be a place to start. I'm not looking at it as a badge of honor or anything that I would even tell our friends about but just as a place to find some other kids her age that she can fit in with better academically.

Based on what is said on this board I'm not holding out any hope that APP, should she be accepted, will provide what she seems to need in a classroom setting. Again, thinking this could be a place where she can identify with other kids like her.



Just so you know, qualifying for mesa is not unusual in AAP. Your daughter will not stand out and will definitely have a peer group should she qualify for AAP.


Thanks. We were trying to just help her through these first few years in hopes that AAP would provide her with an academic peer group that she is more comfortable with. Comments from this board have me thinking AAP was not going to give her that, but maybe it will (if she's accepted).
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2013 02:19     Subject: Mensa
to OP, I'm 12:57 back - the second poster, adult member of Mensa, who didn't think much of Mensa. When I checked into it for my Aspie daughter who qualified, there was nothing available for children's get-togethers - at least in our area. You might want to check Facebook - some of the regional Mensa groups have pages and outings but I haven't participated. Our local chapter is not active for children.

I hear what you are saying about wanting your child to find bright kids to play with but I truly don't think Mensa is the way to go about it. I like 22:04's comments. I wouldn't push. Just provide enrichment. Above all, don't give her a big head or make her think she is "special" above all other kids. My I.Q. is 183 and I led a pretty normal child's life except that I taught myself to read at 2, which made public school boring for the first few years. But I found things that interested me and learned that I excelled at school so gained confidence grade-by-grade that i was good at academics but my parents never told me that I was gifted or what my I.Q. was. I had many many friends - from girls scouts and public school activites. I gave three valedictorian speeches until finally beaten out out of the no. 1 slot at Harvard Law. I think self-discovery is the best way to go. I only recently learned that I have eidetic memory which explains a lot (you might want to research that re: your daughter - a lot of research work is being done in memory now). Just give her the gift of time and enroll her in a bunch of fun summer courses, dance, art, girl scouts, etc. When she is older there will be too much homework so let her have some fun now and build self-confidence. And make diverse friends.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2013 22:25     Subject: Mensa
My DS joined MENSA when he was 8 (in order to find other fast learners in the N. Va area) but there weren't much activities back when DS was a member. I think the local chapter is more active now although he has not been a member for couple years now. DS also took CTY summer classes which helped. CTY-SET also holds some get togethers for kids/pre-teens as well. Fairfax Math Circle should help for kids interested in math and subject acceleration or grade skipping should be considered as well. TJ was the only place DS encountered some academic challenge and other quirky/smart kids. ES/MS was definitely too easy and most kids were not understanding his jokes, interests, puzzles etc. Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2013 22:12     Subject: Mensa
Anonymous wrote:Don't do it. At my job, we make fun of those who were in it. It is very easy to qualify.


Kind of like AAP.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2013 22:04     Subject: Mensa
OP,

It really sounds as if your daughter is one of those rare gifted children. That word is bandied about so carelessly these days, but gifted children are no more numerous now than before.

They can have a difficult childhood, honestly. My gifted cousin was a social outcast all through her schooling until she quickly got 2 PhDs (in her early 20s) and finally found an eclectic group of friends who accepted her for who she was. She treks all around the world with some of them!

Also, I think my cousin took a longer time than average to feel comfortable around other people and really make friends just because most of the normal people she met seemed SO SLOW. This is how the world appeared to her - full of the most slow-witted disconnected people imaginable! She had to learn to be patient, tolerant and understanding to an incredible degree.

So realize that all this will take time.
My son is gifted and learning disabled - another kettle of fish! At 6, he accepted that he was different. At 7, he asked me: "what is a friend?" I was a little heartbroken, but we constantly work on assuring him that we value him and that one day he will find soulmates that value him too.

Good luck. You can try the Mensa thing, and see if you can connect to other young members.


Anonymous
Post 12/30/2013 21:20     Subject: Re:Mensa
Anonymous wrote:OP here - I probably should have clarified her age. She's 7, almost 8. She qualifies based on her NNAT score.

I'm really looking for additional resources and maybe some other kids her age that are "weird" like her. While she has friends at school, she realizes that she's different and being called weird by the other kids is really starting to get to her. I'd like her to know there are other kids out there like her and I thought this might be a place to start. I'm not looking at it as a badge of honor or anything that I would even tell our friends about but just as a place to find some other kids her age that she can fit in with better academically.

Based on what is said on this board I'm not holding out any hope that APP, should she be accepted, will provide what she seems to need in a classroom setting. Again, thinking this could be a place where she can identify with other kids like her.



Just so you know, qualifying for mesa is not unusual in AAP. Your daughter will not stand out and will definitely have a peer group should she qualify for AAP.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2013 21:07     Subject: Mensa
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As above, check out CTY. Also Davidson Young Scholars. Plenty of kids like yours homeschool, and are able to socialize plenty with like peers much more than school kids.


Thanks for pp and this poster for the CTY rec and Davidson Young Scholars. I'll look into them.



My husband did CTY when the best qualification was test scores. It was a true "nerd camp" and fabulous for the smartie-pants kids who number, like, 3 in each school, you know? But now, it's all about the money and admissions has been quite watered down, I heard. I don't know if anything close to the old CTY exists.


Thanks for the heads up. I'll look into and see what the deal is now.