OP here. I think it's pretty obvious that 95% of the people posting here read only the headline and not the actual post. Let me clarify.

DH and I have offered to take the baby to church before or after the service to show her off/socialize with my IL's friends. We told them this - we said we'd go before or after, whatever they prefer. But they are insisting we go to the actual service. We understand that they want to show her off and we're fine with that, we like showing her off, too! I just don't get why if we're willing to take her to show her off before or after (their choice), they still insist that we go to the actual service? What's the point of that? It's not like people are going to be looking at/playing with/talking to the baby at mass.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe the responses. OP - do what works for your family.

You mean what works for OP and ignore the other members of the family?

I mean what works for her immediate family - her, her husband, and their child.

Don't you think that is a little small minded and short sighted though? For grandparents, these types of wounds last and it will impact the relationship. This is an expression of kindness to the Gramps. OP and her Dh better tread carefully or she will be here in a couple years telling us how the grandparents do not seem to want to be involved.

It is a positive that the grandparents love the baby and want to "show her off." Neither OP or her DH KNOW whether DD will make it through the service. And if she doesn't....so what? We always took our kids to Christmas Eve service and I thought it was a hoot to see all the kids there. I get that new parents are control freaks, but you have to let the Gramps have their moment also.

Really? Because it sounds really selfish of the grandparents to me.

Tell your husband, have a great time. I would not go either. I would not be comfortable going to church, when it is not my religion or culture.

Anonymous wrote:"They really do just want to show her off to their friends."

Why? What is their to show off about a baby?

That they have the sweetest, most beautiful, smartest grandchild ever to grace the planet. Seriously?

OP, take the baby to church. During the service, you can walk her around, take her to the crying room, etc. (claim she needs to be changed, or fed, or she's getting fussy, and just slip out). But let her grandparents show her off to their friends before and after the service. It's sweet and lovely that they are so proud of her.

"They really do just want to show her off to their friends."

Why? What is their to show off about a baby?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe the responses. OP - do what works for your family.

You mean what works for OP and ignore the other members of the family?

I mean what works for her immediate family - her, her husband, and their child.

Don't you think that is a little small minded and short sighted though? For grandparents, these types of wounds last and it will impact the relationship. This is an expression of kindness to the Gramps. OP and her Dh better tread carefully or she will be here in a couple years telling us how the grandparents do not seem to want to be involved.

It is a positive that the grandparents love the baby and want to "show her off." Neither OP or her DH KNOW whether DD will make it through the service. And if she doesn't....so what? We always took our kids to Christmas Eve service and I thought it was a hoot to see all the kids there. I get that new parents are control freaks, but you have to let the Gramps have their moment also.

They really do just want to show her off to their friends. Many churches have a cry room for fussy babies. And frankly, Christmas Eve services are going to be full of babies and kids fidgeting and fussing, so no one will care if yours does the same. Grandma will probably be delighted to walk the baby around if she gets fussy. Of you can take the baby outside during the service if it makes you uncomfortable, and then let them show her off to their friends before and afterward the service.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe the responses. OP - do what works for your family.

You mean what works for OP and ignore the other members of the family?

I mean what works for her immediate family - her, her husband, and their child.

Anonymous wrote:Good gracious, I'm JEWISH and would happily bring my kids to church (and did, every christmas) for my in-laws sake. Why are you making an issue out of this??

Same here. There was a cry room in the church if needed but there were plenty of small kids and babies at the Christmas Eve family service so really never an issue. I think once, with one kid, I did leave in the middle of the service but just went out to the common room. No big deal.

Good gracious, I'm JEWISH and would happily bring my kids to church (and did, every christmas) for my in-laws sake. Why are you making an issue out of this??

I don't see why you couldn't take the baby, go to the service and then leave if/ when she becomes fussy. It's rather rude to not even attempt to attend. No one expects her to sit silently through and hour + mass but if she can make it 15 minutes great. It's important to your inlaws and your DH should try to accommodate them, it's Christmas after all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is called a Christmas Eve service. It is very very normal for parents and grandparents to take kids and grandkids to this. It is very normal they would want their out of town friends to meet their grand baby. You should go. If you don't want to go to services, at least show up when they are over for the socializing afterwards.

OP here, yes we are totally willing to take her before or after to show her off, just not to the actual service. That's why I don't get why they insist on us going to the service.

I think this sounds like an ok solution. Ask them when the church is more social, before or after.

And can I suggest, do you think you could get away with dh taking him without you? That way you could stay at home and relax for an hour or so!

Btw, we are southern Protestant and my brother married someone who is Jewish and she had the same rxn. My parents are not very high maintenance and don't like to create waves so we just went with it but they were sad they didn't get to show off my nephew. This is a pretty normal thing to do at Xmas eve so I'd just go with it. Now she lets the boys go tho she doesn't like it but she stays home like I suggested and I think she enjoys the break.

Anonymous wrote:Why would grandparents be "proud" of a 6 month old and need to "show her off" at church? This isn't baby Jesus.

That is how every normal grandparent I have ever known is. When our first was born, my father announced when he saw him (as an infant) that you could just tell that he would be very smart! LOL. Grandparents think their grandchildren are the best.thing.ever. And that is something everyone should accept and be happy about.

Anonymous wrote:Lol. This was so funny.

Grandparents are so in love with their grandchildren that they want the world to admire them. Let them do it.

Seriously, no one else in the world will ever again think that your kids are the most precious kids in the world, except the grandparents. No one.

Agreed 100%. Grandparents just love their children. It is very sweet and something you should be happy about.