Anonymous wrote:If you grew up here and every single person you knew/know live in CC, bethesda or NW DC, and everyone went to private schools and everyone belonged to the club and so did their parents and maybe grandparents, you would not want to live in SS or another less expensive area. It's like moving to the wrong side of the tracks. Your in-laws and other family members would cringe and your friends would wonder what came over you. Many native, upper middle class/upper class Washingtonians know each other and it is kind of like a small town. Ever heard the term cave dweller?

I grew up in NOVA so not quite the intense wealth. There are places though in NOVA I would not move to that others have no issues with mostly because they have come lately in the past few years and are woo'ed by a mcmansion. For example I am never moving to Lorton, Manassas, Woodbridge, Dumfries, Bristow, Haymarket - hick towns or poor towns imo.

So I can understand what this poster is saying. The thing is for people like this poster and the OP, there has to be some compromise. Keep the house and the zip code but drop the designer clothes, use public schools, take less vacations...

It would be different if we lived in a different city. I would not feel the same pressure to send DS to the same private his GF went to or live in the "right" neighborhood.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fairly common. I grew up in the Bethesfa/CC area and went to private school. All of my friends were from Bethesda, Chevy Chase, Upper NW or Potomac.
Some of them just refuse to live in Silver Spring (or other middle class towns) because of how it might look. They stres a lot about it, but it just won't be done even though they can't afford the neighborhoods they grew up in.

It's this exactly. It's not shallow, it's more like golden handcuffs. You can't move to the wrong place, you can't quit the country club. It is a very strange phenomenon. I think people going through this are truly puzzled because it's worked for their parents, it's how they grew up, and they got the top educations, jobs, etc., and the numbers are still not adding up. I will look into the Elizabeth Warren thing because it's an interesting phenomenon.

Anonymous wrote:If you grew up here and every single person you knew/know live in CC, bethesda or NW DC, and everyone went to private schools and everyone belonged to the club and so did their parents and maybe grandparents, you would not want to live in SS or another less expensive area. It's like moving to the wrong side of the tracks. Your in-laws and other family members would cringe and your friends would wonder what came over you. Many native, upper middle class/upper class Washingtonians know each other and it is kind of like a small town. Ever heard the term cave dweller?

Washington has changed so much since then in terms of population, economy, etc. Types like your family are a dying breed.

If you grew up here and every single person you knew/know live in CC, bethesda or NW DC, and everyone went to private schools and everyone belonged to the club and so did their parents and maybe grandparents, you would not want to live in SS or another less expensive area. It's like moving to the wrong side of the tracks. Your in-laws and other family members would cringe and your friends would wonder what came over you. Many native, upper middle class/upper class Washingtonians know each other and it is kind of like a small town. Ever heard the term cave dweller?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fairly common. I grew up in the Bethesfa/CC area and went to private school. All of my friends were from Bethesda, Chevy Chase, Upper NW or Potomac.
Some of them just refuse to live in Silver Spring (or other middle class towns) because of how it might look. They stres a lot about it, but it just won't be done even though they can't afford the neighborhoods they grew up in.

I know. I cringe when I tell people I live in SS. Saving furiously to be able to buy in CC or Bethesda.

Seriously, are DCUMers all this shallow and insecure?

SS is fine. There's nothing to be ashamed of.

I live in PG county, and I don't "cringe" when I tell people. And I certainly don't think Bethesda or CC is Shangri-La.

Anonymous wrote:For me the key to coming to terms with my poverty relative to my family was finding my own peer group. I'm not a country club person - husband and I are both teachers and our friends are non profit types, artists, web designers, social workers, ministers, yoga teachers, etc. All of our friends (besides one or two lawyers) are in the same $100-150-maybe 200k-ish income. The existence of this smart, creative, not super highly-paid community is one of the things I love most about DC!

This is sort of ridiculous. Not even in DC is an HHI over 100k even near poverty.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fairly common. I grew up in the Bethesfa/CC area and went to private school. All of my friends were from Bethesda, Chevy Chase, Upper NW or Potomac.
Some of them just refuse to live in Silver Spring (or other middle class towns) because of how it might look. They stres a lot about it, but it just won't be done even though they can't afford the neighborhoods they grew up in.

I know. I cringe when I tell people I live in SS. Saving furiously to be able to buy in CC or Bethesda.

I grew up poor. Parents were immigrants with no money. DH grew up in upper middle class. Even though we are doing much better than my parents I think we are doing worse than when he grew up. We bought a house that was way below our budget so that I didn't have to stress out about mortgage payments. We will fund 3/4 of kids college expenses so it is much better than I was.

Interesting. We live in a "middle class" area on purpose in order to quickly accumulate wealth.

I think it's fairly common. I grew up in the Bethesfa/CC area and went to private school. All of my friends were from Bethesda, Chevy Chase, Upper NW or Potomac.
Some of them just refuse to live in Silver Spring (or other middle class towns) because of how it might look. They stres a lot about it, but it just won't be done even though they can't afford the neighborhoods they grew up in.

DH's family lives in a gorgeous house in a NJ town that is very similar in demographics and housing stock to Chevy Chase MD.

DH reminds me that they didn't have that house when they were our age. They lived in that town, but in a much smaller house on the edge of town. They didn't have the cars they have now, they had hand me down cars from their parents. They didn't send DH and his middle sister to privtate school - just the 3rd kid. They didn't stay on the mountain when skiing like we do know, they stayed in FIL's client's house and had to get up extra early to take a shuttle to ski school. They didn't eat at all the fancy restaurants they do now, they bought groceries and the big treat was pizza order night.

To the poster who asked about the number of kids the older generation has vs the current - I think it's also important to ask now how do your in laws live now, but how and where were they living when their kids were the same age yours are now.

Nobody gives a rat's ass.

White people are stupid.

Anonymous wrote:For me the key to coming to terms with my poverty relative to my family was finding my own peer group. I'm not a country club person - husband and I are both teachers and our friends are non profit types, artists, web designers, social workers, ministers, yoga teachers, etc. All of our friends (besides one or two lawyers) are in the same $100-150-maybe 200k-ish income. The existence of this smart, creative, not super highly-paid community is one of the things I love most about DC!

Teachers are among those who receive the lowest SAT scores.