Anonymous wrote:NP here. She's a narcissist and will always say this kind of stuff because she can't stand that she doesn't have it worse (if that's what's getting attention) or better (if that's what's getting attention) than everyone else in the room. No suggestions, I distance and minimize contact with relatives like this.

This is interesting to me. My MIL does this--she always seems to want to be more "woe is me" than the situation warrants. Never considered that she might be a narcissist.

Anonymous wrote:My mother use to try to egg me on like this. One day I just snapped and told her to STFU. I got a shell shocked look and she never tried it again.

I dream about telling her to just STFU sometimes. Don't think it would solve anything though

I am still trying to accept her for who she is, and to realize that her judgmental ways are how she relates to the world, not just me. But it's hard. This Thanksgiving was hard. She has always shown little interest in my career (asks no questions about it; makes belittling statements about people who do my line of work; has never visited my workplace; did not attend my graduation, etc).

Some of the responses in this thread will be good ones for me to practice.