Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this so complicated? Call a taxi.

You need your OWN car. You need your OWN credit cards. You need your OWN bank account. You need a JOB that can support yourself and your children. You need your OWN place to live.

Hey I want to leave you, um ... I will take the kids, the car, the house and the money... you can have the bills.

What is wrong with some people.

Girls in this country are socialized to be weak. Boys are socialized to be strong and take what they want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God, a friend of mine had her parents announce their divorce on Thanksgiving. Fucked her up good for many, many years.... Very selfish timing.

+1. Egads! Unless he is abusive (in which case, of course, you get out when you can!), WTF??? The day before Thanksgiving???

Anonymous wrote:I left our home (DH's name is the only name on the deed), DH changed the locks and I had a locksmith let me in when he was out if town since he denied me access for six months. I packed up a few things and he was, needless to say, infuriated. He called the police and a detective went to my neighbors house to investigate a "felony burglary". They never contacted me though. Yes, he tried to have the mother of his children arrested. I married a real gem.

Anonymous wrote:I had booked a hotel in anticipation of the announcement. He told me that if I took the car, he would call the police and have it reported stolen since it was registered in his name. He bought it before we were married. I am on the insurance as a primary driver though. If I take it, would I be arrested for theft of the car?

Anonymous wrote:God, a friend of mine had her parents announce their divorce on Thanksgiving. Fucked her up good for many, many years.... Very selfish timing.

Anonymous wrote:This is why so many people should just NOT get married. They don't seem to understand what it means and why it can be such a mess if it doesn't work out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I have been through a divorce. I get all that, but we are not talking about property and who can claim what. In the OP's case, she would not be charged with theft of the vehicle if she was the primary user of the vehicle. Police might pull her over but once they saw her name on the insurance card tied to that car, they would likely let her go. I was talking about PP's statement about access to the residence pre-divorce. During my divorce, I learned that once a couple separates and one spouse is deemed to have vacated the family home, they do not have unlimited access to the family home during the separation. In my case, my DH could not enter the home unless I was present or my rep was present. When he came to get his things, my rep was there with him the entire time. In PP's case, she vacated the home and was able to persuade a lock smith to get her in - although locks had been changed. The facts may be different in that her DH denied reasonable access but my DH was explicitly told not to cicumvent changed locks. Thus, if he had done what PP did, I would have called the police.

Yeah, when I read OPs initial post, it sounded like she had been living in the house and regularly using the vehicle until she said she wanted to separate and then DH kicked her out and told her she couldn't take the car. Now that OP has posted follow-up information it sounds like she has been living somewhere else and came over to break up and get the car.

Anonymous wrote:Why is this so complicated? Call a taxi.

You need your OWN car. You need your OWN credit cards. You need your OWN bank account. You need a JOB that can support yourself and your children. You need your OWN place to live.

Hey I want to leave you, um ... I will take the kids, the car, the house and the money... you can have the bills.

What is wrong with some people.

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I have been through a divorce. I get all that, but we are not talking about property and who can claim what. In the OP's case, she would not be charged with theft of the vehicle if she was the primary user of the vehicle. Police might pull her over but once they saw her name on the insurance card tied to that car, they would likely let her go. I was talking about PP's statement about access to the residence pre-divorce. During my divorce, I learned that once a couple separates and one spouse is deemed to have vacated the family home, they do not have unlimited access to the family home during the separation. In my case, my DH could not enter the home unless I was present or my rep was present. When he came to get his things, my rep was there with him the entire time. In PP's case, she vacated the home and was able to persuade a lock smith to get her in - although locks had been changed. The facts may be different in that her DH denied reasonable access but my DH was explicitly told not to cicumvent changed locks. Thus, if he had done what PP did, I would have called the police.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left our home (DH's name is the only name on the deed), DH changed the locks and I had a locksmith let me in when he was out if town since he denied me access for six months. I packed up a few things and he was, needless to say, infuriated. He called the police and a detective went to my neighbors house to investigate a "felony burglary". They never contacted me though. Yes, he tried to have the mother of his children arrested. I married a real gem.

I'm actually surprised you found a locksmith who did that. Most want proof that it's your home.

BTW, I would have called the police too, if my ex had done that.

Me too. No way I would have wanted my ex in the house without me or my rep there with him. He is the type of guy that would sabotage something or plant something out of spite.

The PP left the home and somehow thinks she should have access? Her DH handled it wrong though. I would have packed up her shit for her and had it on the porch - but I would raise holy hell if she came in my house if I were not present.

It doesn't matter if DH's name is the only name on the deed. It all depends on the circumstances. If a married couple rents an apartment, neither owns it, one spouse can't deny another access to their belongings. It doesn't matter if your name is the only name on the deed, when you are married, everything changes. If the wife had lived there for a long time and paid part of the mortgage, then it is likely that would be considered community property. Same is true if the wife were a stay at home mom and provided childcare for the kids. No judge is going to say she has no claim to that asset or to her belongings inside of it.

People need to understand that when you get married, it's no longer "this is mine, that is yours." There are all kinds of grey areas.

It also makes a difference when the property was acquired. Even if the husband's name is the only name on the deed, if they purchased the house while they were married, then I think that makes a difference. Just like separate accounts. It doesn't matter if it's money you put into your own checking account while you're married, if it is money you earned while you were married, then, depending which state you are in, the spouse has some claim to it. In Maryland, even pensions you earn while married are considered community property. It doesn't matter that it's your pension in your name.

This is why so many people should just NOT get married. They don't seem to understand what it means and why it can be such a mess if it doesn't work out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

People need to understand that when you get married, it's no longer "this is mine, that is yours." There are all kinds of grey areas.

Sure in your heart it is that way but not in the LAW.

When he is married to you....

NOTHING he earns is yours. You can not get a credit card based on his income. You can not have access to his bank accounts. If you name is not on a legal document you can not claim it as yours.

DIVORCE IS DIFFERENT

You can get a lawyer and show that these assets were acquired during the marriage you can sue for some of this property.

The OP is not divorced... NOTHING is hers.

OP doesn't say what she went to the house to pick up, but at least as far as MY divorce lawyer was concerned, things that were my personal belongings (my clothing, my toiletries, my jewelry - things that were solely used by me in the course of our married - plus gifts given to me expressly by various people - including my ex) were all considered to be my personal property, rather than joint assets. The house was a joint asset. The contents of our kitchen were joint property. Our TV and stereo and PS3 were joint property. When I went back to the house to pack up my stuff, I collected my personal property (clothing, jewelry, some books that were gifts, etc.). The rest we divided in our separation agreement, and it was equal.

My lawyer also informed me that the first house we bought together (for which I was not on the deed for a variety of reasons that made sense at the time) was considered joint property as it was purchased while we were married with marital money. She told me that I was entitled to 50% of the proceeds from the sale of that house, even though my name was not on the deed. The house was in Maryland; we divorced in DC.

It's like you PPs think that the OP is not entitled to go back to her marital home to collect personal property because she left. I agree that it would be reasonable for her STBX to request that she not be alone in the residence (there with cops, with him present, whatever), but it sounds like he has been actively denying her access. I have to wonder what is going on with the PPs that they think that once the OP leaves the home, she doesn't have a right to anything in it.