Thanks - OP back - still gradually thawing, but every day is better.

I guess its good nature gives us so much time to adjust

My friend had a whoopsie when her daughter was a senior in high school, no stepparents involved, and the daughter was FURIOUS. Of course she ended up adoring her little sister. So with teens, it can be a challenge. Hang in there ...

Agree do not ask her to change diapers or to help out unless she volunteers or of course has agreed to care for her for a few hours!