Look, I'm pretty opposed to violent video games, but I only make rules for my own children, not anyone else's. I think asking other children not to do something that they're parents allow while at a family holiday is out of line, especially if you are asking the host family to curtail something that their kids may have been looking forward to doing. You immediately become the burdonsome houseguest, the family member that they resent that they have to invite and can't seem to get out of inviting. Don't be that family member. However, what I think you could do is ask the host if there is another room in the house that can be used by the smaller kids while the bigger kids are playing video games. No judgment (although the family already knows what your issue is), don't ask that their children not play the video games, just asks for someplace that your children can spend the holiday away from the video games. You may be surprised. Some of the parents of smaller kids may also appreciate it even if they were not willing to ask for the same.

Anonymous wrote:Let's read between the lines here.

The real problem is that OP, like all of the adults, wants to drink and have a good time with the grown-ups, while everyone wants to lump "the kids" -- be they 2 or 12 -- together. That works, sort of, in the early baby years when your child will sleep thru the madness, but at 5, as OP is discovering, is the real age when supervision is needed.

OP, if you feel strongly about it, I think you're just going to have to suck it up and be responsible for keeping your child away from all of this. You cannot ask older kids not to do what they want to do, especially in their own home. The idea to bring group age-appropriate games for all of them to try to play together is a good one, but don't expect that to last the entire day. Bottom line: You are responsible for keeping your 5 year old away from this if you don't like it.

This +1
The 12 year olds really don't want to do the same things as the 5 year olds. Maybe you can split them into groups to play?
Don't just send your kid off to socialize with the older kids by himself. He won't have fun and its annoying when everyone expects the older one to entertain the little kids.

Anonymous wrote:Re: violent video games: go read Enders game and think about the implications. I raised my kids without video games of any ilk, or a tv.

My child was raised in the rainbows, my angels.

But I thought I could still make a request for no M games since my kid is FIVE. And he will naturally want to hang out with the other kids, not the boring adults

If the issue is that the game will be played in an area where you child cannot help but be exposed to it, you have every right to ask that it not be played.
If the issue is that the game will be played in a separate area, but you want your child to be able to go into that area to hang out with his older cousins, you can ask the cousins if, to be kind to your son, they carve out some amount of time to play more appropriate games with him, but you would be out of line to ask them not to play it at all, if this is how they choose to socialize together and their parents allow it.

why is it okay for any kid to play call of duty, or any of war games, which is virtual killing, but that can't say F**k? Which is worse? We would totally freak out if our kids came home cursing but we are just fine with them killing on a video game? seems messed up to me.

I think its worth a try - ask the kids if they can carve out some non COD time for 5 yo to hang and play games. Maybe they'll say no, but you can try.

Anonymous wrote:Mom of a 12 year old here: CALL OF DUTY??? Are you kidding? What the hell is wrong with people?

Took the words right outta my mouth. I'm astounded at the utter lack of judgement that parents use these days.

Re: violent video games: go read Enders game and think about the implications. I raised my kids without video games of any ilk, or a tv.

My college son will be home for Thanksgiving and will want to play CoD with his younger brothers. They can play over the weekend, but NOT Thanksgiving Day. We will be too busy having sparkling conversation while baking pies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Offer to pay the oldest cousin $25/hour to play something other than Call of Duty with your child.

OP, I second the suggestion of bribery.

Looks like the 12 year old found his way onto DCUM.

OP, it's not like you're just swinging by any old day. It's THANKSGIVING. How about proposing you all do something to ...give thanks. Those kids are probably bored and neglected anyway. It's sick to watch those M games on Thanksgiving. Ick.

It seems you have plenty of decent advice here and are capable of handling this by nudging and cajoling and possibly a bribe. I think the way you are most likely to get in trouble is to follow the advice of some of the posters and make it clear that you don't think the games are appropriate for the teenagers, that is where you would, I think, be overstepping your bounds. If you wanted to have that conversation with the parents so be it but you shouldn't impose your judgment on what is appropriate for their kids, especially on Thanksgiving.