Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was talking to a pastor once....He asked me, "If your child was drowning, and your husband (or wife) was drowning, and you are only able to save one, who would you save?" No hesitation, I said my child. He said wrong answer. WTF I thought? He then explained, that your husband/wife would be there for you when you are old, and when your children are gone. We raise our children to be independent and to leave our nest but not our spouse. We made vows before God to provide and protect our spouse. I still don't get it (I am not religious by any means) but just something to think about since it is on topic.

The Pastor sounds like an asshole.

I'd definitely save my kid. If I didn't spouse would never forgive me and I'd never forgive myself.

I'd want DH to save one of our kids over me as well.

Anonymous wrote:I was talking to a pastor once....He asked me, "If your child was drowning, and your husband (or wife) was drowning, and you are only able to save one, who would you save?" No hesitation, I said my child. He said wrong answer. WTF I thought? He then explained, that your husband/wife would be there for you when you are old, and when your children are gone. We raise our children to be independent and to leave our nest but not our spouse. We made vows before God to provide and protect our spouse. I still don't get it (I am not religious by any means) but just something to think about since it is on topic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids more than I love my husband. I can replace him, the kids I can't.

Good answer! and so true.

OP, I think this topic has been covered if you search the archives.

The difference is, your kids will leave you. Your husband won't. Unless, of course, you neglect him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids more than I love my husband. I can replace him, the kids I can't.

I think those women who think that way don't really love their husband at all.

Not true. Love husband dearly. But he knows if I ever had to choose between saving kid and saving him that it's been fun. And, well, good luck.

Anonymous wrote:I think it is definately true
Today, not even three years after our wedding, I woke up in bed alone. Again. My wife, Susan, has slipped out to breast-feed our 2 years -old son, Jackson. Curled up with him on the extra bed in the nursery, she often falls asleep there. Which means she's not coming back to me. I know in my heart that my wife loves me. But could she actually love someone else even more?

At first, I thought, Who could honestly complain about this? A newborn needs and deserves all the attention you can give. In the beginning, I was eager to do every small task to make my wife, to make them, more comfortable, from fetching the bunny blanket to doing diaper duty. But lately, I've been feeling like my role has been reduced to being the family Jeeves. What about my needs?
When I encountered rival suitors during my dating years, I knew my best chance involved removing the other man from the equation. So I invited my wife out to dinner. Alone. Cagily, she professed to look forward to it. "Just us," I think she said. No sooner had we sat down at a nearby trattoria and drawn the napkins across our laps than it became clear there was no "just us," and there might never be again. "Would you call the sitter, see if he's okay?" Susan asked.
"We just left him five minutes ago," I pleaded over the glasses of wine we hadn't yet tasted. "I'm sure he's fine."
"But I miss him," Susan said. I knew there was no reasoning with that. Love is love. Soon after our entries arrived, she confessed that she wanted to get home to tuck him in. I paddleboated the plate of fusilli alla verdura into my mouth to keep up with her pacing, and we dashed home. Alas, alas! He was already asleep, and I made my move. "Let's go to bed," I said, and, after coaxing her there, complimented her lingerie: a nursing bra. "Those snaps in the front are very convenient," I joked. But I knew this convenience had nothing to do with me. Not only has my son taken control of my wife's every thought, he has enforced his presence on every inch of her body

My many friends told me the same thing they are experiencing. What baffled me was not their stories, but how unfazed they were by their emotional abandonment, as if they were, unlike me, resigned to the fact that they could never be as important as the kids. What's more, they warned me that talking about it with my wife would only make things worse, that my feelings of dissatisfaction or loneliness would only be belittled or lampooned. Of course, I had to learn the hard way.

There's no changing it. For the foreseeable future, in my wife's eyes, Jackson comes first. I come second. So who am I miffed at -- Jackson? Of course not. He's just being a toddler, and I love him. Susan? Well, maybe a little.
.
And Maybe over time I'll learn that my situation's not so bad. I begun to take my eyes off .

Sorry for the long post OP but I wanted to share this.
And that TED talk and mri scan are interesting.

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids more than I love my husband. I can replace him, the kids I can't.