I just flat out resolved not to read any of this literature; trusted the ped (and we have a great one) and had a real moment of reckoning with the damage my anxiety could cause to my kid’s attachment to me (and vice versa).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't worry. There is little to nothing you can do at that age other than providing a comforting, nurturing environment (which you are doing). I would worry more if your child is not smiling regularly. Does your child laugh? Does he remember you or notice when you leave the room? I repeat the earlier advice of looking at a milestone chart and seeing if he's dropping off.

Even if your child were to have autism, it would not matter. You will still love them either way. Frankly I'm surprised that no one with a special needs child has flamed you for being so worried about it. It wouldn't be the end of the world either way.

Oh please! Now parents don't have the right to be worried about their kids because it is politically incorrect? I am sure the parents of special needs children do love them very much like any other parent, but think they also would have preferred their kids were neurotypical.

Ehhhhh. I’m not neuro typical nor is my kid. So we have fun together being our strange autistic selves. It’s not all flowers and rainbows of course (well anime and weighted blankets) but it’s okay for us

For those of us with kids that need way more than anime and weighted blankets ( ), I will say it’s perfectly acceptable to worry about autism. Go educate yourself about the needs of the community that you profess to belong to.

20:21 again.

And to the question: "when do you stop worrying?"

No. You never stop worrying. Just yesterday my son passed his driver's test. And just today he drove my car into a garage pillar!

You signed up for Permanent Parental Worry the day he was born. But the upsides far outweigh the downsides

I haven't read all the responses, but if you don't have any history of autism in either of your families, then your baby's risk decreases right there. It's a very heritable trait...

... that his prematurity sort of increases. But at least he doesn't have both risks, like my son, who was 8 weeks early, with a history of Asperger's on the paternal side, and who is borderline for HFA (high-functioning autism).

But here's what I can tell you, with a high school senior who has diagnosed ADHD, anxiety, dyscalculia (disability in math, rather like dyslexia), hypotonia and low processing speed. Plus medical diagnoses like asthma, allergies, etc. Your child can still have a high IQ with all of these things. My son has an IQ of 130. Your child can still do well in school, and in life. My son has a very high GPA, is a happy, funny person, and is looking at selective colleges.

Just be vigilant, and look out for things that he might need therapy for. My son needed PT, OT, speech. And then we enriched, coached and tutored him intensively for years. Early intervention is key. There's a lot you can do, even with disabilities or mental health disorders.

A diagnosis will not ruin his life. You can be vigilant without making yourself miserable with anxiety, OP. Enjoy your cute baby boy.

With Zoloft. Mine does have autism, and that’s fine. It’s the anxiety (as in her anxiety, not mine!) that makes things a real struggle for her. I probably have her that with all of my worrying about the autism! So go to therapy, take Zoloft, meditate, but do try to get your anxiety under control because the kids feel it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't worry. There is little to nothing you can do at that age other than providing a comforting, nurturing environment (which you are doing). I would worry more if your child is not smiling regularly. Does your child laugh? Does he remember you or notice when you leave the room? I repeat the earlier advice of looking at a milestone chart and seeing if he's dropping off.

Even if your child were to have autism, it would not matter. You will still love them either way. Frankly I'm surprised that no one with a special needs child has flamed you for being so worried about it. It wouldn't be the end of the world either way.

Oh please! Now parents don't have the right to be worried about their kids because it is politically incorrect? I am sure the parents of special needs children do love them very much like any other parent, but think they also would have preferred their kids were neurotypical.

Ehhhhh. I’m not neuro typical nor is my kid. So we have fun together being our strange autistic selves. It’s not all flowers and rainbows of course (well anime and weighted blankets) but it’s okay for us

I did this too, and it was really just anxiety. Something that helped is trying to look for signs of NOT autism instead of signs of autism. There’s a test around 6 months where you pull them up by their hands and see if their head follows, stuff like that.

Any update OP on how your baby did??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can work on eye contact

How?

Watch "Temple Grandin"

Pp here ... Another thing to consider: did you worry endlessly about miscarriage, then genetic testing, then stillbirth, then SIDS? If so, then you can be pretty sure that worrying about autism in your baby is just the next phase of information-overload worry. Try to relax and enjoy your baby!

I don't think there is any reliable way non-severe autism can be diagnosed in babies. Severe autism you would know about - but you wouldn't be here on the Internet worrying because it would be obvious. What I can say for sure is that moms everywhere are freaking themselves out over perfectly developmentally normal babies. Whenever I went through periods of seeing "signs" of autism in my baby it was ALWAYS correlated to some stress in my own life plus too much time googling. Now I have a perfectly normal toddler.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't worry. There is little to nothing you can do at that age other than providing a comforting, nurturing environment (which you are doing). I would worry more if your child is not smiling regularly. Does your child laugh? Does he remember you or notice when you leave the room? I repeat the earlier advice of looking at a milestone chart and seeing if he's dropping off.

Even if your child were to have autism, it would not matter. You will still love them either way. Frankly I'm surprised that no one with a special needs child has flamed you for being so worried about it. It wouldn't be the end of the world either way.

Oh please! Now parents don't have the right to be worried about their kids because it is politically incorrect? I am sure the parents of special needs children do love them very much like any other parent, but think they also would have preferred their kids were neurotypical.

Quoted PP here, all I was trying to emphasize is that a child having a disability/delay just means that there may be a lot more that you worry about and a lot more therapy. But they would not cease to be your child, and you would still love them either way. While it would make life more difficult, it is something you can't change about your child and you should realize that while you can try to help your child, you shouldn't let it ruin your relationship with them.
When I had a baby the OP's age, I posted something very similar and was flamed by a lot of special needs parents on this board. It really helped me see some perspective. For example, if my husband were to die, it would be life changing for me. Life would be much harder. Things would never be the same. But, life would still go on. While it is understandable to worry about your child, you should realize that there are things you can control and things you can't. By all means be your child advocate, but try to maintain some perspective.

Well, they were wrong and you shouldn't have them bully you into not having normal worries about your child. Perspective is great, but there is a time and place for it. Before you have a bad diagnosis, the normal person worry, then come denial, grieve and finally acceptance. I think perspective helps people accept what can't be changed and deal with it.

So I have not read through all the posts here but one suggestion....
If you are really that worried maybe consider participating in an autism study with NIMH or Kennedy Krieger or other reputable institution. Not only does it give you peace of mind to know that experts are keeping an eye on development, but you would also help contribute to the study of autism. Even if there is no real concern, these studies need all kinds of kids, non and typically developing.
For what it is worth, we have been part of a study since our DC was 3 months. It is so interesting and has even helped us address some minor delays we may not have picked up on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't worry. There is little to nothing you can do at that age other than providing a comforting, nurturing environment (which you are doing). I would worry more if your child is not smiling regularly. Does your child laugh? Does he remember you or notice when you leave the room? I repeat the earlier advice of looking at a milestone chart and seeing if he's dropping off.

Even if your child were to have autism, it would not matter. You will still love them either way. Frankly I'm surprised that no one with a special needs child has flamed you for being so worried about it. It wouldn't be the end of the world either way.

Oh please! Now parents don't have the right to be worried about their kids because it is politically incorrect? I am sure the parents of special needs children do love them very much like any other parent, but think they also would have preferred their kids were neurotypical.

Quoted PP here, all I was trying to emphasize is that a child having a disability/delay just means that there may be a lot more that you worry about and a lot more therapy. But they would not cease to be your child, and you would still love them either way. While it would make life more difficult, it is something you can't change about your child and you should realize that while you can try to help your child, you shouldn't let it ruin your relationship with them.
When I had a baby the OP's age, I posted something very similar and was flamed by a lot of special needs parents on this board. It really helped me see some perspective. For example, if my husband were to die, it would be life changing for me. Life would be much harder. Things would never be the same. But, life would still go on. While it is understandable to worry about your child, you should realize that there are things you can control and things you can't. By all means be your child advocate, but try to maintain some perspective.

I was a big worrier in those early months too. Just wait it out and assume that everything is fine. Does he like peek-a-boo? If so, then he is probably fine.