Of course you don't rearrange. Because if another guest is planning to come but has another event planned for later, now you have screwed up their day.

Oh lord, is "rude" a synonym for "SIL"? Wow. I thought mine was bad. Hopefully she will not read this thread and get ideas!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is did you plan Christmas Eve lunch ( or whatever the family event is) knowing that SIL had a conflict? If so that's kind of crappy. If your SIL was protesting because little Johnny wanted to go to a classmates birthday then that's on her and she can deal but if you know Johnny has swim meets every Saturday at noon then it's crappy to set lunch for noon and not 3.

OP here. I didn't know about the conflict. I don't keep up with their ever changing schedule. She could have told me weeks ago, but waited until last minute. That's her MO.

Who knows what her reasons are.

Maybe she does not want to attend at all and is waiting until the very last minute to respond (knowing full well that she has a conflict from the beginning) because she hopes that you will be reluctant to change the time, thus getting her off the hook for attending (Then you, not she, is the bad guy).

Maybe she got busy with life and forgot to respond. Maybe she views the family to be as pushy as you do. Then again, maybe she's just a pot stirrer who likes to create drama.

If you don't want to switch the time, you can come up with a conflict of your own. "We would love to have lunch at 12 instead of 3, but I'm afraid that we have other plans in the morning, No way can I have lunch ready by noon. Would somebody else like to host this? SIL, I'm looking at you (air kiss)".

Anonymous wrote:My question is did you plan Christmas Eve lunch ( or whatever the family event is) knowing that SIL had a conflict? If so that's kind of crappy. If your SIL was protesting because little Johnny wanted to go to a classmates birthday then that's on her and she can deal but if you know Johnny has swim meets every Saturday at noon then it's crappy to set lunch for noon and not 3.

OP here. I didn't know about the conflict. I don't keep up with their ever changing schedule. She could have told me weeks ago, but waited until last minute. That's her MO.