Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they may be on the road to dementia. Are there other siblings nearby who can check in on them?

NO. It would be one thing if we were talking about one grandparent; but both with dementia manifesting the same way? I highly doubt it.

OP here. So yesterday, we got a card in the mail to our daughter for Halloween. I decided to suck it up and send an email to thank them for the card, sent them a picture of our daughter in her costume, but then semi-let them have it. I said all of this anger will accomplish nothing, that we made a mistake, it won't be the last time we make one, we apologized, and if they choose not to accept it they leave us no choice but to sort of step away. I said that would not be my choice, that I would rather our daughter have a relationship with them, but that can't happen under these circumstances. And I said I hoped we heard from them soon.
Nothing but crickets.

Sounds like money is their only leverage, which is depressing. If he is their only child, who else would get their money/estate after they die? Next of kin is standard. Unless they leave it all to a specific organization or specifically rewrite the will to leave everything to someone else.

Question: when one of them dies, who will take care of the other one? Have they made provisions for this? Or do they expect you to do it, even after their terrible treatment of you?

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else out there wish all it took was a belated birthday call to rid them of their inlaws?

My thoughts exactly!

Anonymous wrote:It always hurts, OP, to be rejected, even by dysfunctional people.

So be good to each other. Enjoy your holidays without drama.

+1. Bet they'll miss you more even though they won't admit it. It's not like they can hang out with your sibling instead and bad-mouth you.

Seriously, they do not sound like adults. Selfish, bitter, and soft in the head. I just read a health email on early signs of dementia and a lack of empathy was on the list! Unfortunately if that is what is happening, you'll be considered neglectful if you ignore them as they go down the tubes.

Anonymous wrote:This is absolutely ridiculous that they'd be this upset... they are way off their rockers on this one.

I would simply tell them that their granddaughter will miss them on the upcoming holiday season.

Ditto. I don't respond well to threats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"We're sorry to hear that you feel this way. Our door will always be open to you if you change your mind and want to be part of our or daughter's lives."

This. If they stay gone, count it a blessing.

+1

My ILs pull this crap, too - they totally suck. Right now we're not speaking at all to MIL, mainly b/c she lost her mind on DH one too many times and he cut her out of our lives until she could deal with some of her issues. She hasn't seen our kids in 18 months. They don't appear to even mind.

Honestly, you need to protect your kids. This is an unhealthy, toxic relationship and it's not constructive or healthy for you guys or your child. It's your ILs' loss. It's really - truly - not your DD's loss.

Anonymous wrote:We're very close with both of our parents, but none of our 4 parents call on my birthday... they need to get over it. When you're older only your spouse celebrates your birthday.

Heh, try telling that to my mother. She was complaining to her then 4-year-old granddaughter that no one had bought her a cake for her birthday last year (she's 58).

Anyone else out there wish all it took was a belated birthday call to rid them of their inlaws?

It always hurts, OP, to be rejected, even by dysfunctional people.

So be good to each other. Enjoy your holidays without drama.

Anonymous wrote:"We're sorry to hear that you feel this way. Our door will always be open to you if you change your mind and want to be part of our or daughter's lives."

This. If they stay gone, count it a blessing.

The stupid thing PP is that their anniversary was two weeks after her birthday. We called, tried to reach them, etc. but they had already cut us off.

Glad to be of service!

Thankyou OP! You just reminded me that MIL's anniversary is tomorrow. I would have forgotten (and might have been disinherited - although I think that is long gone). Thank you for posting