Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 22:14     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
Over FaceTime:

'I had a feeling last night that my grandson was sad to go to preschool! How was he today?'

She's does this during our regular family FaceTime calls - sometimes it's a dream. Basically she tries to pretend she is psychically linked or something. And knows how her grandson is feeling.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 22:05     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
The children need more tv.

Why don't you give them more juice? It's so healthy.

Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 21:36     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
Anonymous wrote:My MIL sent us CDs of polka music, accordian music basically, but playing current hits. I didnt know whether to laugh or cry or both.

She paid a real premium for them as well, bless her. She means well.


OMG - I'm rolling. This is freakin' hysterical!!!
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 19:23     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
Can we change the title of this thread to: "Shit my MIL says" ?
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 19:21     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
Funny things DIL says:

Twerking is coming back....watch this: shake shake shake.

MIL says (which is me):
I told her that her ass looked like it had epilepsy. I also told her since that is true, I guess it made her a "butt head."
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 17:17     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
My MIL sent us CDs of polka music, accordian music basically, but playing current hits. I didnt know whether to laugh or cry or both.

She paid a real premium for them as well, bless her. She means well.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 16:57     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There are secretaries who keep the office afloat, and lawyers who are eminently replaceable. And plenty of out-of-work lawyers to replace them.


Yes, so no secretaries can ever retire because the whole firm will go under


NP here - maybe not, but talented secretaries are like gold. So PP's MIL may really be pretty irreplaceable.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 16:49     Subject: Re:Funny things my MIL says
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That she understands why we don't get along, it must be hard for me competing with her for my DH's affection/attention! LOL


Um gross. Does she get that you and DH engage in physical activities that she presumably doesn't with her son!?


Needless to say, that's why I'm pretty sure I'm secure in first place! That and she can't cook, clean AND she was a terrible mother (per DH). She also tells us that SIL is jealous of her and that's why they don't get along. She's pretty much delusional.

Women and their sons!


Except when you husband tosses you out on your ass, you'll be the ex-wife. She'll still be his mom.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 16:09     Subject: Re:Funny things my MIL says
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That she understands why we don't get along, it must be hard for me competing with her for my DH's affection/attention! LOL


Um gross. Does she get that you and DH engage in physical activities that she presumably doesn't with her son!?


Needless to say, that's why I'm pretty sure I'm secure in first place! That and she can't cook, clean AND she was a terrible mother (per DH). She also tells us that SIL is jealous of her and that's why they don't get along. She's pretty much delusional.

Women and their sons!
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 14:10     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There are secretaries who keep the office afloat, and lawyers who are eminently replaceable. And plenty of out-of-work lawyers to replace them.


Yes, so no secretaries can ever retire because the whole firm will go under


Yeah, but get a bad one and I can guarantee that your business and productiveness will suffer.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 14:08     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
Anonymous wrote:There are secretaries who keep the office afloat, and lawyers who are eminently replaceable. And plenty of out-of-work lawyers to replace them.


Yes, so no secretaries can ever retire because the whole firm will go under
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 14:03     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My MIL is World War II generation and says to DS, "don't get cross with me."


I freaking LOVE this.


Hmmm I actually say this to my DD.


Not to even mention that every episode of Thomas the Tank engine has "Thomas was cross ...." I think it's super cute.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 14:01     Subject: Re:Funny things my MIL says
Anonymous wrote:WHen I was pregnant with my first DC my MIL told me I will need a c section because my hips simply aren't wide enough. As I was 8 cm dilated and still planning to vaginally deliver she pulled my husband aside and said "we need to get her out of here, these whack-a-doodle doctors think that a ________ (insert family name here) baby can fit through those skinny underdeveloped white hips?!?!


That is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 13:57     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
She doesn't mean as an insult -- that is why it is funny. We live 6 hour drive away and when we are leaving after a visit she always says to me, "I know you have to work tomorrow but at least you have one of those relaxing pencil pushing jobs."

It cracks me up!
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2013 13:52     Subject: Funny things my MIL says
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My MIL is World War II generation and says to DS, "don't get cross with me."


I freaking LOVE this.


OMG, I say this too. I didn't know I was so old -- I am not even 50 yet