OP. I hate to be a downer but what makes you think that he has had actually cut contact with the woman?
Very likely he hasn't and just moved to a different medium.

The fact that he hadn't shut it down and you had to say something means that he was enjoying it and didn't want to stop it.

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing. Now STOP talking about these texts with your husband and how terrible this woman this. He's going to get sick of it like I already am after reading your few posts. It's over now leave it alone.

Agree. You're wallowing, OP.

Anonymous wrote:Married men and women shouldn't discuss marital troubles or other romantic issues with members of the opposite gender.

don't just dangle that out there, unsupported. please explain why you feel this way.

Have you considered couples therapy, OP? You need to focus on your relationship, and less on this other woman. Are you worried your DH may have a thing for her? Or that something may develop? If so, counseling will help both of you focus on your needs, and not your DH's need to be a "counselor" to a woman who is not his wife.

If my DH were doing this, I would call him on it immediately. It would raise red flags. If the "counseling" were with a male, then OK, but with a female, and a co-worker? I'm not getting a good smell here, OP. Are you?

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. So after my DH closed down this friendship, this woman contacted him again (2 or so weeks later) and my DH talked to her. What is up with her? He assures me that she was just 'checking in". But why does she have to check in after he had told her i was not comfortable with their friendship?

Have you considered the role your husband is playing in this situation? You seem to think he is blameless, but he talked to her again after he "closed down" the friendship. Why didn't he ignore her?

OP here again. So after my DH closed down this friendship, this woman contacted him again (2 or so weeks later) and my DH talked to her. What is up with her? He assures me that she was just 'checking in". But why does she have to check in after he had told her i was not comfortable with their friendship?

Anonymous wrote:Why the fuck would anyone want to counsel for fun

NP here. I actually enjoy giving my friends advice and helping them through rough times. Although there have only been 2 guys I've ever really given a lot of relationship advice to and since I've been friends with both for forever, neither of them would ever cross the line. Plus, DH knew I was helping them through stuff

Why the fuck would anyone want to counsel for fun

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How wrong would it be to contact this woman to reinforce that she crossed the line?

Bad idea.
Very rikki lake.
Plus she may get a power kick out of the fact you feel threatened by her

Yeah this happened to me. DH was getting flirty with the neighbor, I told him it was becoming a problem and asked him to stop -so he just went secret on the communication and my crazy neighbor LOVED the drama.

We are not divorced. He did not end up with her, though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean "counseling". Unless he is a professional, he has - should not - have ANY role. If he has a role, you are being played.

Agree the "counseling" is odd.

.

Op here-I mean that he listened to her as she came to the realization she needed to get divorced, he listened to her as she told her husband, listened to her as she told her kids etc. It was fine at first but when she mixed in the flirting and the sexual innuendos and started the needy calls, I got very sick of it.

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean "counseling". Unless he is a professional, he has - should not - have ANY role. If he has a role, you are being played.

Agree the "counseling" is odd.

What do you mean "counseling". Unless he is a professional, he has - should not - have ANY role. If he has a role, you are being played.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the animosity towards the woman. Her husband ignored the line crossing until his wife mentioned it. He took care of it. End of story.

The idea that a woman is a home wrecker because she made a few out of line comments is nuts. It reinforces the sexist idea that men can't control themselves and women are responsible for their lust. OP, your husband is a grown ass man, let him manage ending this friendship on his terms.

Ok-I agree with this and always get upset when the other woman/man is blamed--after all they aren't the one married. However, the other party is not blameless. A person with self-respect does not "cross the line" by flirting, getting emotionally dependent on a married man. This is even worse when she has met the wife. It is so disrespectful to the married woman who trusted the friendship. In my scenario, my dh never flirted back. He did let her carry on for longer than he should have but that's it. She crossed the line. She was the one who couldn't be trusted. She needed to back off and get her sexual flirting on somewhere else.

I don't understand the animosity towards the woman. Her husband ignored the line crossing until his wife mentioned it. He took care of it. End of story.

The idea that a woman is a home wrecker because she made a few out of line comments is nuts. It reinforces the sexist idea that men can't control themselves and women are responsible for their lust. OP, your husband is a grown ass man, let him manage ending this friendship on his terms.

If he shut her out on is own accord, I don't see how he would ever blame you for his actions.

Are you asking us our input on this OP because does it seem like he is holding it against you?
If so, then he is most definitely in the wrong here.

If not, then it is just your own little insecurities coming out.

As a woman, I personally do not think it was appropriate in the first place for your husband to "counsel" another woman on her marriage issues.
As your husband, that is disrespecting you as a woman and wife.