Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such nitpicking. In the Nova suburbs I've encountered parents who are so anti SN kids that I might fall over in gratitude at most of those comments. With school budget cuts, I constantly get lectures from other parents about how much the costs of special ed are dragging the school system down.

+1 I know! Incredible. Maybe its b/c we are close to DC and the "budget" talks. The negativity from DC I think maybe spills over.

Jeez Louise.

I'm in white bread, conservative Crofton and am now feeling lucky to have not run across folks who would think it was okay to express that kind of BS to me.

I think I'd ask the folks who talk about the costs if they'd prefer I institutionalize my child so they can keep pretending that Wally and the Beav are still children. But wait, would it be better if I just turned down those services? Then my child could become a high school drop out, and maybe someday get a job bagging groceries. I wonder which they'd prefer.

Anonymous wrote:This is such nitpicking. In the Nova suburbs I've encountered parents who are so anti SN kids that I might fall over in gratitude at most of those comments. With school budget cuts, I constantly get lectures from other parents about how much the costs of special ed are dragging the school system down.

+1 I know! Incredible. Maybe its b/c we are close to DC and the "budget" talks. The negativity from DC I think maybe spills over.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes, some people say it like "thank goodness its not me!"

But even *if* that is their intention, I still take the complement, cause I *am* an awesome mom.

If I give a complement and someone else takes it the wrong, well, I know my intentions are good. I can't control the thoughts in other people's head.

I think a good response to that one is "yeah, you're probably right."

I totally get it. Most of those are annoyingly pat, especially the one about God never giving you more than you can handle. And even though I know people mean well, I really have to bite my tongue if I hear that one.

On the other hand, my parents have never once said anything to me and DH to acknowledge how difficult it must be to parent our SN child (and yes, it is often freak'n difficult - we are worn down dealing with extreme behavioral/psychological issues). It actually would be nice to hear from them that they admire how we are dealing with the hand we were dealt, instead of always implying how easy and what a joy it is to raise children.

I actually think my SN has made me a better parent, but only because I am pushed to my limits and know I have to work harder at parenting to get him to a good place as an adult.

Anonymous wrote:12:46 again- I don't like it for the reasons others have said: these people really don't know whether it's true, so it's meaningless and just kind of condescending. Besides, what else are they going to say? Anyone really going to tell you you're doing a sucky job?

Actually yes. There are lots of jerks out there who when your kid is having a tantrum will come up and say, "you know, in the good ol' days, we would have spanked him".

Give me the good intentioned comments any day.