Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 10:53     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

You joke. But if there's one thing I expect my 30K per year to buy, it is a classroom free of constant disruptions from uncontrollable others.


whose parents are also paying $30,000 per year.


But, they're outnumbered 16 to 1


You are mistaken. There are plenty of dopey kids who exhibit mild to severe antisocial behaviors. What it really comes down to is popularity. What it comes down to is the behaviors of a popular child might be considered mischievous, but endearly, while for another child those same behaviors which may even be a mimic of those of a popular child, will be considered antisocial and intolerable.


I'm the 16 to 1 PP.

I think we are both correct. The relative desirability of the kid in question is a factor, I have no doubt. Can this kid be easily replaced in the next admission cycle with someone just like him -- but without the challenges? If his parents give the school $25,000 every few years ... probably not. Other considerations include URM status and unusual athletic prowess.

All that said ... IF there are enough parents in the Group of 16 cited above who themselves represent something rare-ish and desirable to the school, then I firmly believe their opinion carries more weight. In particular, their opinion as to whether they must "begin to look at options" because their kid's experience is being so negatively affected by the desirable-yet-problematic kid.


It's good that your child is part of the 16 and is not the 1 being singled out. The only problem with your "private schools are selective logic" is that once you've removed the child who is not wanted, you will be left with a 15 to 1 situation. Selecting children for elimination is a morally dubious practice. Selecting children for elimination is a little bit like Sophie's Choice. It's good that your child is currently in the majority; hopefully that will never change. Hopefully, your child will never be chosen to be the 1.

Life is long, perhaps a bit of grace today will be returned to you one day in the form of kindness and understanding when you and yours find yourselves vulnerable and in need of a helping hand.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 10:47     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

You joke. But if there's one thing I expect my 30K per year to buy, it is a classroom free of constant disruptions from uncontrollable others.


whose parents are also paying $30,000 per year.


But, they're outnumbered 16 to 1


You are mistaken. There are plenty of dopey kids who exhibit mild to severe antisocial behaviors. What it really comes down to is popularity. What it comes down to is the behaviors of a popular child might be considered mischievous, but endearly, while for another child those same behaviors which may even be a mimic of those of a popular child, will be considered antisocial and intolerable.


I'm the 16 to 1 PP.

I think we are both correct. The relative desirability of the kid in question is a factor, I have no doubt. Can this kid be easily replaced in the next admission cycle with someone just like him -- but without the challenges? If his parents give the school $25,000 every few years ... probably not. Other considerations include URM status and unusual athletic prowess.

All that said ... IF there are enough parents in the Group of 16 cited above who themselves represent something rare-ish and desirable to the school, then I firmly believe their opinion carries more weight. In particular, their opinion as to whether they must "begin to look at options" because their kid's experience is being so negatively affectejd by the desirable-yet-problematic kid.


At our private, another factor was that the disruptive kid had two siblings also at the school. So the school was potentially looking at replacing 3 kids.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 10:35     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to identify this child, for crying out loud.


Agreed x1000. Just stop.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 10:18     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

You joke. But if there's one thing I expect my 30K per year to buy, it is a classroom free of constant disruptions from uncontrollable others.


whose parents are also paying $30,000 per year.


But, they're outnumbered 16 to 1


You are mistaken. There are plenty of dopey kids who exhibit mild to severe antisocial behaviors. What it really comes down to is popularity. What it comes down to is the behaviors of a popular child might be considered mischievous, but endearly, while for another child those same behaviors which may even be a mimic of those of a popular child, will be considered antisocial and intolerable.


I'm the 16 to 1 PP.

I think we are both correct. The relative desirability of the kid in question is a factor, I have no doubt. Can this kid be easily replaced in the next admission cycle with someone just like him -- but without the challenges? If his parents give the school $25,000 every few years ... probably not. Other considerations include URM status and unusual athletic prowess.

All that said ... IF there are enough parents in the Group of 16 cited above who themselves represent something rare-ish and desirable to the school, then I firmly believe their opinion carries more weight. In particular, their opinion as to whether they must "begin to look at options" because their kid's experience is being so negatively affected by the desirable-yet-problematic kid.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 10:13     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
If you're really interested in how people feel about this topic of how a disruptive child in the class affects others -- and you're not just using this as an excuse to take potshots at private schools generally -- then check out the 17 page (and counting) thread about this exact same topic in the general schooling forum: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/215345.page

Sounds like many parents (and teachers), both public and private, get frustrated and concerned about such disruptive kids and how they impact the rest of the class.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 10:11     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We knew a child who was counseled out for behavioral issues last year. This was in the lower school and the parents were sad because their child loved the school. My DC never reported anything good or bad about the child who left but I did observe when in class that the child sucked huge amount of the teacher's time to direct and redirect. Of course there were other children who did the same thing and are still there.


I might know the same child. This one was young for the class, and my child said the kid was in trouble almost every day. I think many parents requested that their kids not be in the same class for the next year. Very distracting, unfortunately. I wondered if they held the child back a year at a different school.


Sounds like the right decision. Families like ours, who pay a lot of money, should very much expect the teachers to be able to do a job without THIS MUCH interruption, disruption and unpleasantness. Sounds like this child has an attention-getting issues and the teacher was not able to address it for a whole year. Fair to all other families.


Thankfully, the classroom has now reached a state of Nirvana. The remaining angelic children will now be able reach their full potential in life without such negative influences. Had this disruptive nine year old been allowed to remain in all likelihood the remaining students probably would have been eventually denied admission to their Ivies, probably Med. School as well, and perhaps they may not marry a debutant either. It's very fortunate that this problem was resolved early in your child's life. Although, this experience must have been traumatic, we can at least rest assured that the lives of the remaining students will be perfect.

Good work


You joke. But if there's one thing I expect my 30K per year to buy, it is a classroom free of constant disruptions from uncontrollable others.


You may expect your $$ to buy that. But, there are others who are only willing to pay the $30k b/c their kid is so disruptive that he can't function in public school and needs the "nurturing" and "small classroom experience" offered for a hefty price at privates.


And there are private schools that cater to that type of child and likely a better fit for the child, so everyone wins in the end if this child is counseled out of a school that isn't a good fit.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 09:49     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: ...

Thankfully, the classroom has now reached a state of Nirvana. The remaining angelic children will now be able reach their full potential in life without such negative influences. Had this disruptive nine year old been allowed to remain in all likelihood the remaining students probably would have been eventually denied admission to their Ivies, probably Med. School as well, and perhaps they may not marry a debutant either. It's very fortunate that this problem was resolved early in your child's life. Although, this experience must have been traumatic, we can at least rest assured that the lives of the remaining students will be perfect.

Good work


You joke. But if there's one thing I expect my 30K per year to buy, it is a classroom free of constant disruptions from uncontrollable others.


You may expect your $$ to buy that. But, there are others who are only willing to pay the $30k b/c their kid is so disruptive that he can't function in public school and needs the "nurturing" and "small classroom experience" offered for a hefty price at privates.



This. Excellent (and accurate) use of the code-words, BTW.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 09:49     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

You joke. But if there's one thing I expect my 30K per year to buy, it is a classroom free of constant disruptions from uncontrollable others.


whose parents are also paying $30,000 per year.


But, they're outnumbered 16 to 1


You are mistaken. There are plenty of dopey kids who exhibit mild to severe antisocial behaviors. What it really comes down to is popularity. What it comes down to is the behaviors of a popular child might be considered mischievous, but endearing while for another child those same behaviors which may even be a mimic of those of a popular child, will be considered antisocial and intolerable.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 09:46     Subject: Re:Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:It is a private school. They are selective. It is not public school.


Yes I agree, please let us know how that works out.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 09:35     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Interviews, testing and teacher recommendations help to weed out much of the behavior you are discussing.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 09:22     Subject: Re:Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:It is a private school. They are selective. It is not public school.


True. But I looked here:

http://www.sidwell.edu/about_sfs/school-philosophy/index.aspx
http://www.gds.org/podium/default.aspx?t=123451
http://www.stalbansschool.org/page.aspx?pid=710
http://www.ncs.cathedral.org/podium/default.aspx?t=129663
http://www.sheridanschool.org/about/mission
http://www.maret.org/about_us/mission/index.aspx

and nowhere did I see "This purpose of this school is to provide, to the children of parents who pay us a lot of money, an education that is free from disruption by the children of other parents who pay us a lot of money".
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 09:04     Subject: Re:Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
It is a private school. They are selective. It is not public school.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 08:58     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

You joke. But if there's one thing I expect my 30K per year to buy, it is a classroom free of constant disruptions from uncontrollable others.


whose parents are also paying $30,000 per year.


But, they're outnumbered 16 to 1


You are mistaken. There are plenty of dopey kids who exhibit mild to severe antisocial behaviors. What it really comes down to is popularity. What it comes down to is the behaviors of a popular child might be considered mischievous, but endearly, while for another child those same behaviors which may even be a mimic of those of a popular child, will be considered antisocial and intolerable.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 07:49     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

You joke. But if there's one thing I expect my 30K per year to buy, it is a classroom free of constant disruptions from uncontrollable others.


whose parents are also paying $30,000 per year.


But, they're outnumbered 16 to 1


This doesn't say such nice things about the philosophy of the private school, if the philosophy of the private school is that $480,000 is more than $30,000.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2013 07:45     Subject: Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We knew a child who was counseled out for behavioral issues last year. This was in the lower school and the parents were sad because their child loved the school. My DC never reported anything good or bad about the child who left but I did observe when in class that the child sucked huge amount of the teacher's time to direct and redirect. Of course there were other children who did the same thing and are still there.


I might know the same child. This one was young for the class, and my child said the kid was in trouble almost every day. I think many parents requested that their kids not be in the same class for the next year. Very distracting, unfortunately. I wondered if they held the child back a year at a different school.


Sounds like the right decision. Families like ours, who pay a lot of money, should very much expect the teachers to be able to do a job without THIS MUCH interruption, disruption and unpleasantness. Sounds like this child has an attention-getting issues and the teacher was not able to address it for a whole year. Fair to all other families.


Thankfully, the classroom has now reached a state of Nirvana. The remaining angelic children will now be able reach their full potential in life without such negative influences. Had this disruptive nine year old been allowed to remain in all likelihood the remaining students probably would have been eventually denied admission to their Ivies, probably Med. School as well, and perhaps they may not marry a debutant either. It's very fortunate that this problem was resolved early in your child's life. Although, this experience must have been traumatic, we can at least rest assured that the lives of the remaining students will be perfect.

Good work


You joke. But if there's one thing I expect my 30K per year to buy, it is a classroom free of constant disruptions from uncontrollable others.


You may expect your $$ to buy that. But, there are others who are only willing to pay the $30k b/c their kid is so disruptive that he can't function in public school and needs the "nurturing" and "small classroom experience" offered for a hefty price at privates.