Connections mean something in college, not high school and certainly not elementary school.

Anonymous wrote:It's all bull shit just move to Virginia or Maryland the schools are better than dc privates

I went to Langley, pre TJ, when it was the top public in Virginia. It was okay. But with 550 kids in the class, there really isn't a community. Lots of cliques. Very little real adult supervision, certainly no mentors. Lots of kids fell into the wrong groups, and it did hurt them later. There was a group there, model UN, etc., who were mostly merit scholars, went to great colleges, and built solid lives after Langley, (my path) but most of the middle kids have not matched their parents. My family could afford private, but thought it elitist and not 'real world'. Spouses family had different views, and went to a top single sex school. So I acquiesced and did the Cathedral thing for our kids. If I had been given the choice again as a 9th grader, and I was but rejected it, I would have gone private.

My takeaway was really strong and self motivated kids will do equally well anywhere. The middle kids are advantaged by the private school attention, and there are a lot of adults watching their back, and classmates who will be friends for life, and the contacts often do matter. Life is 99% ties, and tiebreakers mean more today than ever before. I think for the kid whose parents who are working 80 hour weeks, and the kid who is bright, but not driven, they will wallow in public, and maybe get in with a not great crowd. Yes, elements of private are snooty, but for the most part, it is a sacrifice for most of the parents financially. I think for all but the absolutely shine rock stars (and there are VERY few of these) it is a good investment in building a young adult ready for the world.

The expense of private is indeed large, but my spouse and I concluded that the more important investment was in their teen years than a very expensive college. We are Episcopalians, but I love a quote from the Jesuits "Give me a child until he is 7, and he is mine for life". With inflation and all, maybe its 17 now, but these years, not the college years, are where their foundation is set.

I would do a top private and U Maryland over a public and Duke. I just think if money makes it an either/or, build the foundation while its still malleable.

Our oldest developed a deep and strong sense of service at his private school, and in what is heresy on DCUM, decided that service by the fortunate and strong to the unfortunate or weak is the highest calling. He is at a Service Academy now, and his college is 'free'.

If your kid is motivated, super bright, and knows 'who' he wants to be, public is fine. Very few kids fit this profile. All of the privates do a very good job helping kids on a personal basis find out who they are, and a basically good kid with strong adult figures in small classes is far less likely to fall into a bad crowd.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, it was about smaller classes, differentiation in reading and math starting in K, and small group learning, as well as more art, PE, language, etc. Our oldest is very quiet. Very, very quiet.

I asked the preschool director why I had to try hard to get DC into a private school since we lived in bounds for a JKLMM. The director said, "DC will sit there, do exactly as s/he is told, and they will never know what DC is capable of." That was enough to tip us over the edge to get reading and math in small groups so that they would know what DC was capable of. Many years later, DC is a top (and internally driven) student.

Many other kids could manage to stand out and get what they need in public. Heck, I was one of them. We had a choice for our DCs and did the best we could at trying to determine which of our options were right for them. YMMV.

That is such baloney. There are lots of reasons to chose private, but listening to the hyperbole of a preschool director isn't one of them.

Oh, I'm sorry. Do I know you? How do you know my child? I assume you must know my child very well to argue you know far better than someone who has known my child for three years and observed DC's learning style. I realize reading comprehension is not a highly valued skill here on DCUM, but my remarks were clear that this was a decision about our child and reflected that child's behavior in school and learning style. So please tell me all about my child and how you know we made the wrong decision based on bad advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us, it was the small class sizes, student led learning, not teaching to a test, and personal attention that led us to pursue and stick with private school for both of our DC. Having said that, we are in the fortunate position that we can pay both school tuitions (and handle donations/auctions,etc.) without hurting our ability to save enough to pay for college and otherwise live comfortably. If it was going to have a large financial impact on our family, I would have been comfortable doing publics too as I agree with the Toyota/Audi poster. I do not think that the "connections" argument holds any water from what I have seen. I also don't think it makes sense to go private solely because you think that it will move your kid up in prestige in college admissions. I know Big 3 kids and Wilson kids who are going to Ivies and kids from all of those schools who are not. My view is that the same kid will most likely end up at around the same level of college whether they go to Big 3 or public (or non-big 3 private for that matter).

I'm the pp who went to a big 3 and am not sending my kids there. I disagree with this. Of course there are kids who are going to Ivies from publics and kids from big 3 who are not. But in my day (graduated in 90s) going to a big 3 would ABSOLUTELY help you get into a better college than you would have gotten into otherwise. I went to an Ivy and was probably about top 15-20% in my big 3 class. In that percentage range at a top public I don't think I would have. Would I have gotten just as quality of a college education, had just as good job prospects etc had a gone to a different college? I think probably, but that's a different argument.

Bottom line is I do think a big 3 helps kids get into a better college than they would have otherwise. Especially kids who are middling students. I don't think these schools are worth the cost (especially as I'm in the net worth range that a pp mentioned as the 'private school danger zone') but I do think the "better college" argument holds water.

Well here's the thing. I'm a PP with a HS senior in public and another who graduated from a big 3. My kids are similar in terms of academic performance. At my older son's private school he was in the top 10%, but my younger son is top 5% at his "W" high school. My point being that you, PP, probably would have been better than top 15-20% at your local public, so results for college admission may have remained the same. Not saying this argues for private over public or vice versa, it's just something to consider.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCPS high schoolers do not learn how to write. I have one at Wilson and a younger sib at a private. While Wilson offers more diversity and activities, the class sizes are very large and neither Deal or Wilson spent much time on teaching kids how to craft a sentence much less a paragraph. We have had to supplement over the summer for that. Not sure why this is. Also, if your kid is into certain sports they may have an easier time making a team at private. Wilson does have alternative sports a private might not have like crew though.

My experience is very different from this poster's. My child is a fantastic writer because of her DCPS teachers from 4th grade through Deal (just started Wilson so we will see). Her Deal English teachers were all excellent and she did a lot of writing and interesting assignments with them.

As for the posters who say that going private helps with high end colleges...I've heard it said, and actually seen results for friends' kids (Yale, UPenn, UVA), that a great student who makes their way through a big public with high achievement is looked at very favorably by college admission officials. In general, private school kids have all the advantages: tutors, labs, resources, so high achievement should almost be inevitable while a student who makes it through a big public on his/her own steam, is a student you want. Granted, lots of public school kids have their parents throwing money at tutors too. I'm just repeating some broad generalizations that I've heard. I will say that Wilson kids make it to the ivies and other great schools.

I would not waste money on privates. The only thing new that my four bright, well adjusted children would learn there is elitism and how to look down on the less fortunate (while making sandwiches to donate to the shelter).

I agree with this 100%. A family member is in admissions at an Ivy and we've heard him say many, many times that, although they have certain "slots" for legacies or certain favored boarding/private schools (sad, but true), these admits would basically get in no matter what (family connections, money). It isn't the average, hard working, smart kid from private schools here who get these slots -- it is for the silver spoon crowd. So, the hardworking, smart kid without family money/connections is much more likely to be looked upon favorably if he/she graduates from a public school and takes the AP classes and excels at something. The Ivys and lots of schools are a bit weary of the entitled, rich kids of these elite privates assuming that they will get an automatic entree into the school of their choice. Admissions officers want to feel that they have found a kid who has really earned their place. I often wonder if parents who scrimp and save in order to send their kid to a pricey private understand that, to admissions officer, their kid may look like just another entitled rich kid. Colleges don't need/want any more of those.

I also think that in general in this area that the elementary schools in affluent neighborhoods are very strong, and private schools may be of more value for junior high and high school.

PP here. I also don't think that switching is ever really necessary for many kids--some kids do really well at schools like Wilson. But I think that by junior high and high school, you'll have a better idea of what sort of social, academic, and curricular environment your kid thrives in. Some kids thrive in big schools with a lot of diversity but also a lot of programs and opportunities, whereas others get lost.

Anonymous wrote:DCPS high schoolers do not learn how to write. I have one at Wilson and a younger sib at a private. While Wilson offers more diversity and activities, the class sizes are very large and neither Deal or Wilson spent much time on teaching kids how to craft a sentence much less a paragraph. We have had to supplement over the summer for that. Not sure why this is. Also, if your kid is into certain sports they may have an easier time making a team at private. Wilson does have alternative sports a private might not have like crew though.

My experience is very different from this poster's. My child is a fantastic writer because of her DCPS teachers from 4th grade through Deal (just started Wilson so we will see). Her Deal English teachers were all excellent and she did a lot of writing and interesting assignments with them.

As for the posters who say that going private helps with high end colleges...I've heard it said, and actually seen results for friends' kids (Yale, UPenn, UVA), that a great student who makes their way through a big public with high achievement is looked at very favorably by college admission officials. In general, private school kids have all the advantages: tutors, labs, resources, so high achievement should almost be inevitable while a student who makes it through a big public on his/her own steam, is a student you want. Granted, lots of public school kids have their parents throwing money at tutors too. I'm just repeating some broad generalizations that I've heard. I will say that Wilson kids make it to the ivies and other great schools.

I would not waste money on privates. The only thing new that my four bright, well adjusted children would learn there is elitism and how to look down on the less fortunate (while making sandwiches to donate to the shelter).

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, it was about smaller classes, differentiation in reading and math starting in K, and small group learning, as well as more art, PE, language, etc. Our oldest is very quiet. Very, very quiet.

I asked the preschool director why I had to try hard to get DC into a private school since we lived in bounds for a JKLMM. The director said, "DC will sit there, do exactly as s/he is told, and they will never know what DC is capable of." That was enough to tip us over the edge to get reading and math in small groups so that they would know what DC was capable of. Many years later, DC is a top (and internally driven) student.

Many other kids could manage to stand out and get what they need in public. Heck, I was one of them. We had a choice for our DCs and did the best we could at trying to determine which of our options were right for them. YMMV.

That is such baloney. There are lots of reasons to chose private, but listening to the hyperbole of a preschool director isn't one of them.

This is the real difference.
I have a child in a JKLM public and there is strinkingly little difference between it and the private my older child attended. Ratio is 19:2 for K. Excellent teachers. Specials (art, music, social studies, gym, science, etc) daily. 2 recesses per day. Foreign language twice a week for a small fee. Highly educated parents (to a person). Excellent facility. And the list goes on. There are subtle differences but no where near worth $30K.

I went to one of those schools back in the '90s, and some of my friends went on to Wilson, others went on to privates. We were generally all well prepared for wherever we ended up, and there wasn't a whole lot of difference in numbers of people going to ivies and other prestigious colleges and universities coming from Wilson/SWW vs. private schools. I had a friend who had issues at the school because she had dyslexia and was falling through the cracks (she ended up switching to a private school that offered more support), so obviously it's not a perfect fit for every child.

I think if you live in a school district where the school is well regarded and it seems like an acceptable option, why not give it a try? If it doesn't work out, then you can look at private options. I also think that in general in this area that the elementary schools in affluent neighborhoods are very strong, and private schools may be of more value for junior high and high school.

DCPS high schoolers do not learn how to write. I have one at Wilson and a younger sib at a private. While Wilson offers more diversity and activities, the class sizes are very large and neither Deal or Wilson spent much time on teaching kids how to craft a sentence much less a paragraph. We have had to supplement over the summer for that. Not sure why this is. Also, if your kid is into certain sports they may have an easier time making a team at private. Wilson does have alternative sports a private might not have like crew though.

Anonymous wrote:But I suspect the complexity of coordination with last year's teachers in public school, and the sheer number of students under their care, would have made it unlikely they'd follow up just on the mere concern about a possible problem. Also, most public schools would not have the learning specialist resources.

You might be surprised by what goes on in public schools.

As others have said, it was about smaller classes, differentiation in reading and math starting in K, and small group learning, as well as more art, PE, language, etc. Our oldest is very quiet. Very, very quiet.

I asked the preschool director why I had to try hard to get DC into a private school since we lived in bounds for a JKLMM. The director said, "DC will sit there, do exactly as s/he is told, and they will never know what DC is capable of." That was enough to tip us over the edge to get reading and math in small groups so that they would know what DC was capable of. Many years later, DC is a top (and internally driven) student.

Many other kids could manage to stand out and get what they need in public. Heck, I was one of them. We had a choice for our DCs and did the best we could at trying to determine which of our options were right for them. YMMV.

One thing I really like about my kids' private school: The teachers are really engaged and watchful, and coordinate with one another. My child's teacher recently contacted us to express some concern about one aspect of my daughter's learning style (being deliberately vague here to avoid outing myself). The teacher had already compared notes with my daughter's teachers from last year, and researched the issue independently with with the school's learning specialist. The teacher said it's probably not a big deal, and is likely something my daughter will outgrow, but that it's something we all should watch closely to ensure it resolves itself. The teacher recommended some specific exercises to address the issue. All my daughter's teachers will be watching this issue closely this school year and next.

That sort of comprehensive watchfulness and handling of a potential issue is exactly what I love about my children's school. It's probably a non-issue anyway, but I appreciate the fact that the teachers will help me spot it in the early stages, and will go to great lengths to ensure it's addressed properly. That's why I'm happy to pay the big tuition.

I'm sure there are plenty of smart and dedicated public school teachers who also could have spotted this issue, so I'm definitely not putting them down. But I suspect the complexity of coordination with last year's teachers in public school, and the sheer number of students under their care, would have made it unlikely they'd follow up just on the mere concern about a possible problem. Also, most public schools would not have the learning specialist resources.

That's my two cents.

Anonymous wrote:For us, it was the small class sizes, student led learning, not teaching to a test, and personal attention that led us to pursue and stick with private school for both of our DC. Having said that, we are in the fortunate position that we can pay both school tuitions (and handle donations/auctions,etc.) without hurting our ability to save enough to pay for college and otherwise live comfortably. If it was going to have a large financial impact on our family, I would have been comfortable doing publics too as I agree with the Toyota/Audi poster. I do not think that the "connections" argument holds any water from what I have seen. I also don't think it makes sense to go private solely because you think that it will move your kid up in prestige in college admissions. I know Big 3 kids and Wilson kids who are going to Ivies and kids from all of those schools who are not. My view is that the same kid will most likely end up at around the same level of college whether they go to Big 3 or public (or non-big 3 private for that matter).

I'm the pp who went to a big 3 and am not sending my kids there. I disagree with this. Of course there are kids who are going to Ivies from publics and kids from big 3 who are not. But in my day (graduated in 90s) going to a big 3 would ABSOLUTELY help you get into a better college than you would have gotten into otherwise. I went to an Ivy and was probably about top 15-20% in my big 3 class. In that percentage range at a top public I don't think I would have. Would I have gotten just as quality of a college education, had just as good job prospects etc had a gone to a different college? I think probably, but that's a different argument.

Bottom line is I do think a big 3 helps kids get into a better college than they would have otherwise. Especially kids who are middling students. I don't think these schools are worth the cost (especially as I'm in the net worth range that a pp mentioned as the 'private school danger zone') but I do think the "better college" argument holds water.

Anonymous wrote:Social cachet.

Truly.

Once you have the house in Bethesda, and 3 German cars in the garage, there must be a way to separate yourselves from the Joneses.

This is the real difference.
I have a child in a JKLM public and there is strinkingly little difference between it and the private my older child attended. Ratio is 19:2 for K. Excellent teachers. Specials (art, music, social studies, gym, science, etc) daily. 2 recesses per day. Foreign language twice a week for a small fee. Highly educated parents (to a person). Excellent facility. And the list goes on. There are subtle differences but no where near worth $30K.

I find that a large majority of parents who chose private over public in our neighborhood are just ignorant of how good the public really is. I constantly hear, "the classes are too big" when this isn't the case at all.