Once I pick up the clutter, the floor and counter tops are pretty clean, and I'm comfortable having company. I never have to scramble to scrub a toilet or even wash dishes if someone is coming last minute - it really is just the clutter.

My house is generally both clean and neat (but I have to stay on DH and kids to keep it that way). I will let the playroom, basement and kids rooms get messier than the rest of the house because those are primarily used by someone other than me. DH used to keep the office messy until we started to share it--now it's organized and repainted, thanks to me. It makes me insane when the kitchen is messy because its the most used room in the house and I only go a few days/a week before cleaning the bathroom (not the tub weekly but the sinks/toilets).

Some people have a high tolerance for messy but I don't--it literally stresses me out. I have a friend whose house is both messy and dirty (like, at least wipe down the powder room when you are having 10 people over) and I refuse to eat anything from her house. Going into her house gives me the chills, it's so bad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not at all going to be grossed out by using my bathroom, but you may trip over a toy on the way there.

Love this explanation!

Hahaha prefect

So my house is neat but dirty. I pick up all the time but don’t meet the minimum daily requirements for vacuuming, mopping, washing sheets, etc. sigh. At least it looks cleanish.

Anonymous wrote:DH hates clutter. Drives him nuts. So he will shove things in drawers and cabinets.

I have a thing about actual cleanliness. Dishes that can't go in the dishwasher need to be washed with "hot has hand can bear" water. Counters need to be sparkling clean. Bathrooms need to be disinfected. Towels washed and dried on hot. DH will wait until the towels start growing things before actually washing them.

He is neat. I am clean. Together, our house is presentable and livable.

I do this and it drives my neat freak husband crazy. His drawers/closets are immaculate, BUT he can fill up a counter top with all of his stuff the instant a cleaning lady leaves.

I can't look at clutter, but my closets and cabinets are a mess because I will throw things in there so I don't see them.

I notice more of the 'clutter/mess'. My husband will see the dirt or crumbs on the floor that I somehow don't notice until he points it out.

We do have a weekly cleaning lady. I am running around throwing things in drawers/closets before she comes. It's clean and not messy when she leaves. It's messy, clutter starts building the day or so after she leaves and it's dirty and need of good wet mopping by the time she comes back. We do vacuum in between.

The kitchen is also my thing along with clutter. My counter tops have to be clean and clutter free and I can't stand any dishes in the sink.

Clean = bathroom and kitchen have been cleaned - no grime in sinks or tiles, etc. Floor has at least been swept and possibly mopped. Other areas are basically free of dust and floor debris. If you have a pet, it's not obvious.

You can have clutter on top of that - like when the mail piles up or your kid decides to clean out his backpack all over the living room - and that can make things messy without making them dirty.

dirt, dirt is the difference

Dirty: bathroom is gross, floors aren’t swept/vacuumed, kitchen counters have grime on them.
Messy: a basket of clean but unfolded laundry in the living room, toys on the floor, papers all over surfaces.

Anonymous wrote:I don't buy it. Messy and dirty are the same thing. Your house can't be that clean if it's messy.

Eh, I kind of buy it. I've lived with roommates who would absolutely lose their shit if you left your workbag on the floor or took off a pair of shoes and left them in the entryway, but would think nothing of throwing old food under the bed, would never clean and would happily shower in mold infested dumps or use toilets sprayed with piss, but heaven help you if you left a cabinet door open in the kitchen. I would say dirty is true filth and messy is like...disorganized?

Anonymous wrote:You're not at all going to be grossed out by using my bathroom, but you may trip over a toy on the way there.

grow up.

I don't buy it. Messy and dirty are the same thing. Your house can't be that clean if it's messy.

I have moved six times in the last year after taking a step to get out of an unhealthy relationship.

I moved in to MY new and permit place and came down here with a car full plus nessatiy big items(beds-washer dryer tv) plus what was gained over Chrismass.
My house is messy, no dressers so close on the floor toys, supply cup a pack of baby swimmers thrown around my room.
I’m between loads on the dishwasher and just cooked supper and cleaned out my fridge everything is rinsed and waiting, this is what is called a liver in house for a mom and a two and a half year old. As long as ur house isn’t unsanitary ur good. I still have meetings with my daughter home therapy and every time I say pardon the mess they say girl ur place is lived in I can move toys in the pay area floor to sit down and play in, oh I see u cooked a roast and are letting ur crock pot soak big whoop! Some people are clean freaks some people are lazy that’s life be true to who you are but take pride in ur accomplishments.

Ps: sorry for miss spelling and grammar errors

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

So just to clarify a pile of dirty dishes or stinky clothes/shoes in a corner does not qualify as dirt?

That makes me feel soooo much better!

Thanks a lot!

OK, you've made it clear that you understand perfectly but want to be a jerk about some conflict you are having with a spouse or friend about their level of messy/dirty that does not meet your standards. Thanks for playing.

You don't have to be mean, I read OP as being insecure about her mess after reading how judgmental people are on here. Give her the benefit of the doubt, it's anonymous and costs you nothing!

Thank you, PP. you got my point. I've been reading threads about messy and dirty houses, not reciprocating play dates, etc and I was wondering if people have been judging me for my "messy but clean" house.

We have the biweekly cleaning lady, I do my best to pick up, but it's me against a crazy 18mo old a "trying to be helpful" 3yo and an exhausted overworked 35yo. I can't win

Anonymous wrote:If you have mildew in the tub/shower and your toilet, sink and bathroom floor aren't sparkling, or there is pet hair on the furniture and in the corners, then your house is dirty.
If you leave a pile of mail on the kitchen counter and have some toys on the floor, your house is messy.

There's a lot of space between dirty and "sparkling."

Anonymous wrote:DH hates clutter. Drives him nuts. So he will shove things in drawers and cabinets.

I have a thing about actual cleanliness. Dishes that can't go in the dishwasher need to be washed with "hot has hand can bear" water. Counters need to be sparkling clean. Bathrooms need to be disinfected. Towels washed and dried on hot. DH will wait until the towels start growing things before actually washing them.

He is neat. I am clean. Together, our house is presentable and livable.

I'm with ya sister. I scrubbed the kitchen today and the rag I used on the counters had to be that way too. Despite the fact that I was using disinfectant on the counters. I'm however not the cleanest person. I was a little shocked when I saw the amount of dust on the DVD player today. You can however eat anything out of my kitchen with confidence.