anything that is for the two of us, or for the baby my MIL signs "mom"......because she IS DH's mom and it would be weird for her to sign her first name for those gifts/cards

anything that is for me only I think she probably does her first name if she is really thinking about it, but probably has signed "mom" before too.

I call her first name, and always have. I don't think the person is always pushing an agenda.

Anonymous wrote:I've been awkwardly avoiding calling her anything for about 15 years. She wants me to call her Mom, but I'm not comfortable with that. And she's only 13 years older than I am. She still doesn't call me by my correct name, or even know how it's spelled. She's from a culture with strict rules about how you address people. Maybe I should call her Mother. Like Mother Stephens on "Bewitched."

Oh my gosh, I do the same thing. Only 10 years in here, but I try and avoid addressing her period. I just say what I need to say to her. She wants me to call her mom and we even had a big blow up over it but I just don't feel comfortable. We get along very well for the most part since then.

I call my MIL by her first name, Donna. When DH and I were married she had a long conversation with me as to why she wanted to me to call her Mom. I told her the only person I can call Mom is my own Mom. Then she proceeded to say she wanted me to call her Momsy, well, that still has Mom in it and I had to politely decline. She made up 10 other names that still included the word Mom; and I had to politely decline.

I told her I'd be happy to call her by anything else, she said okay, Donna is fine. Now that the kids are here I at times refer to her as Grammy like she wants the kids to address her. She's a bit manipulative and I can't feed in to it. Call me a b*tch or whatever you want, but I can't stand people forcing me to do something I'm not comfortable with.

I've avoided calling her anything for 20 years, so I aspire to be like the 23-year poster!

Anonymous wrote:"Crazy Bitch"

Oh! you stole my line!

Anonymous wrote:I have successfully avoided not calling her anything for 23 years.

Impressive!

If my children are around we call her Grammy (her nickname of choice). When my wife or either of her brothers are around, I call her Mom because that's what they are calling her. If none of the above, I call her by her first name. We get along well and that's always worked for us.

Anonymous wrote:I have successfully avoided not calling her anything for 23 years.

I've made it 17. You've given me something to strive for.

Dead. She died of a massive heart-attack years ago.

I try not to address her directly unless it is completely unavoidable.

I've been awkwardly avoiding calling her anything for about 15 years. She wants me to call her Mom, but I'm not comfortable with that. And she's only 13 years older than I am. She still doesn't call me by my correct name, or even know how it's spelled. She's from a culture with strict rules about how you address people. Maybe I should call her Mother. Like Mother Stephens on "Bewitched."

I have successfully avoided not calling her anything for 23 years.

I call her mom. Or Mamaw when the kids are around. I call my FIL dad or PaPaw when the kids are around

DH calls my parents mom and dad or Grammy and granddaddy.


Neither one of us would EVER call a parent (or any person their age) by their first name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's "old school" politeness that you don't call people who are old enough to be your parents, by their first name. They aren't our peers. Matter of your upbringing.
I wish we had something else to call MIL.

This is why I really had a hard time calling my MIL by her first name, even though this is what she told me to call her. I just felt (and still feel) very disrespectful when I do this. My DH and I have almost been married 10 years. I was very relieved once we had a child so I could just call her, "Grammie"! That feels better to me!

Exactly this! Thank goodness for the grandma fallback position!

Mom.