It's your perspective and how you can manage the ups and downs for the next 18 years for better or worse. People still bicker about their spouse, but are still happily married. People complain about their health, but are still alive and funtional. The list goes on.

NO! I bought into the whining and the complaining. This is what people like to do. Few people talk about when something is wonderful or fantastic. It's easier to complain in general than to put into words how life-changingly spectacular having a kid is. Now I wish I had't listened to the complainers as I'm having trouble getting pregnant a second time. My kid rocks!

Anonymous wrote:I just had a kid. She's 4 months old and the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. That said it suck. Sucks big time. Being pregnant is horrible. Labor is beyond the worst thing ever. Lack of sleep, no freedom, no time. Taking a shower is an achievement. Going to the bathroom is a luxury. I didn't originally want kids and I should have stuck with that. But that said its an amazing often wonderful experience.

You and I could be the same person. I also have a 4 month old DD. I love her more than I thought possible. I also did not want children; I won't say that I should have stuck with that, but all the things that I was worried about -- effect on my body, lack of personal time, relationship stress with DH -- absolutely happened. Plus there is a weird disconnect in loving my DD and still missing my old life. My life is richer because she's in it, but also much harder and some of the other kinds of richness (like my once-awesome relationship with DH) are somewhat diminished. DH and I agree that we are definitely one and done.

OP, the question I asked myself was, "Can I commit to being a good parent -- a loving, providing, involved parent through all the sucky, sticky, sleepless parts of parenting -- even if it turns out I don't like parenthood that much and regret having children." I knew that I could and would make myself do right by my kid on all the basics, even if it turned out I didn't like her or parenting, so I felt like it was safe to proceed.

Good luck!

My husband and I decided we would not have kids. We had been married over ten years when I got pregnant unplanned. We talked about adoption. Or son is absolutely the best thing that ever happened to us. I can't imagine life without him, it would be really sad. As someone who hated babies and kids, I have to say, having a kid was the absolute best thing that had ever happened to me.

Of course it is hard. nd most parents Lso think it is awesome. Also depends on lots of things. Do you say at home or not. How many hrs do you and DH work. So you have family nearby to rely on. How long is your commute. Can you afford somewhere that has tolerable / good schools without driving for eons every day. What temperament is your kid. Does your kid have SN.

I think the best reason to have kids is that you cannot imagine your life without them and you are prepared to change a lot of how you live your life in order to make that happen.

I have one child who is extremely easy to handle (happy go lucky and compliant) and one who is extremely difficult (moody and defiant). It's such a world of difference between them and sometimes I imagine what it would be like if both were easy. Then I would probably answer your question by saying it's absolutely fabulous. But I can't -- my parenting experience is sometimes very, very hard.

But - it has made me grow as a person, especially the difficult times. I find strength sometimes where I didn't know I had it. I feel like I understand humanity so much more deeply since I became a parent. I am so much more empathetic to others' struggles -- and attuned to others' joys-- because of my experiences as a parent.

And then there is the love, the deep, unconditional love that is like no other.

It is amazing to watch babies turn into toddlers and then into young children and then onto teenagers. It's scary to try to do it right, but it is so rewarding when you feel like you have. And the insight into human psychology that parenting can bring is itself rewarding.

They completely change your life. Whether or not that sucks, well that depends on you.

I don't think it sucks at all...it has been such an incredible experience to watch my DS learn, explore, grow...humans are incredible!

I also went into it with realistic expectations though. I knew that I would have countless nights of interrupted sleep while we taught DS to console himself and develop sleep skilss. I knew that he would get sick as he was introduced into new (germ filled) environments. I knew that he would ask questions incessantly as he began learning about the world. I knew that he would require more attention and time than any other thing in my life.

I did not enter into pregnancy, labor, or parenting expecting it to be easy...I expected (and welcomed) it to challenge me. I do not want an average life, nor do I want an average child. I want my entire family to be curious, passionate, and engaged. This requires a lot of hard work. Personally, I like hard work.

Best experience hands down.

I think it depends on the kid you get, and how many you have. We only had one. It definitely crimps our style. It's hard to be minimalist when you have a kid. We can't go out as much. I get judged a hell of a lot more. I became a parent and all of a sudden it's inappropriate of me to wear a bikini? We feel a lot worse leaving her home than we do leaving the dog home.

But, she is a lot of fun and I think having a kid has forced me to grow a lot as a parent and has made me into a more well-rounded person.

Anonymous wrote:I just had a kid. She's 4 months old and the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. That said it suck. Sucks big time. Being pregnant is horrible. Labor is beyond the worst thing ever. Lack of sleep, no freedom, no time. Taking a shower is an achievement. Going to the bathroom is a luxury. I didn't originally want kids and I should have stuck with that. But that said its an amazing often wonderful experience.

I could have written this post, except that my DS is 6 months. He is amazing, and I love him- but I now know why I said I did not want kids. I can and will be an awesome mom for this little guy, but I can imagine my life without being a Mom. For me, it is not all encompassing.

I just had a kid. She's 4 months old and the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. That said it suck. Sucks big time. Being pregnant is horrible. Labor is beyond the worst thing ever. Lack of sleep, no freedom, no time. Taking a shower is an achievement. Going to the bathroom is a luxury. I didn't originally want kids and I should have stuck with that. But that said its an amazing often wonderful experience.

There are pros and cons to whatever you choose. Having kids is the harder path, but it has payoffs that are hard to describe without sounding condescending to people who choose not to have kids.

I think the most fulfilled parents are those who are naturally givers/caretakers.

completely love it 90-95% of the time.
cant imagine not doing it.

The first year sucked. The adjustment period is rough. But other than that it is awesome. My life is so much better! You give up a lot but you gain even more. I recommend stopping at one, though

I always wanted children and was convinced I would be a great parent (I know, I know).

Fast forward to now, I am so happy with my 2 kids and still think I am a great parent (I know, I know)!

The truth is, I hardly ever feel sad about the difficulties of parenting (sleep deprivation, one special needs child who needs therapies, less disposable income).
I accept them as part of the whole HAPPY and FULFILLING parenting experience.

I think it's luck of the draw. Some kids are just really high energy and annoying or have any other crappy attribute. Parenting them would suck. You get a good kid- parenting is pretty okay most of the time. I'd say 80% is good. The other 20% is split- 10% transcendentally amazing and 10% soul crushingly bad. Like the rest of life, the vast majority is pleasant but monotonous and repetitive.