Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never pay a stranger to raise my kids. It horrifies me just thinking about it.

Oh please. Stop being so provincial. You do know that nannies, nursemaids, ayas, baboes, governesses, etc. are the DEFAULT in how the rich have raised their precious offspring the world over for centuries, right?

We in the US have a mental block against domestic help. Americans are not comfortable with the concept! Very funny, actually. My husband is the same way. Midwestern middle class background, very awkward initially with our nanny and housekeeper. For some reason, the pool guy and gardener didn't befuddle him so much--maybe because they never came in the house.

I was born in a third world country, and came over as an infant. My family has earned, inherited, and lost, a fortune before immigrating to the US. My mother was raised by a nanny, and then became a housemaid herself when the family's fortune's fell.

So, the concept of domestic help is not alien to me, and I also feel a lot of warmth for the profession.

Americans don't like maids and nannies because y'all feel that the job is somehow demeaning, and having domestic help is "putting on airs" and "getting uppity." Well, it's not. It's an honorable way to make a living, taking care of and loving infants and children. the same person who judges someone for having the means to afford domestic help has no problem ordering around an overworked minimum wage worker in some fast food joint working 3 jobs trying to support a wife a kid. That worker probably has, dollar for earned dollar, a way more financially insecure and exploited life than a private nanny.

I love my nanny. I don't love her more than she loves my kids (which is plenty), but that's the way it should be. I see my kids and want to surround them with as many people who love them as possible. This includes the nanny, grandparents, etc. etc.

As long as this is an anonymous forum, I will just come out and state what I always felt: it's not HEALTHY for a woman whose sole purpose is to stay at home and not do anything else. It would be different if the husband also stayed at home, then you are just people of leisure and you have company. But this weird ideal that is imposed on American women that you should shoulder ALL of the childrearing and housekeeping while your husband works 80 hours a week and travels all the time is imbalanced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never pay a stranger to raise my kids. It horrifies me just thinking about it.

Oh please. Stop being so provincial. You do know that nannies, nursemaids, ayas, baboes, governesses, etc. are the DEFAULT in how the rich have raised their precious offspring the world over for centuries, right?

We in the US have a mental block against domestic help. Americans are not comfortable with the concept! Very funny, actually. My husband is the same way. Midwestern middle class background, very awkward initially with our nanny and housekeeper. For some reason, the pool guy and gardener didn't befuddle him so much--maybe because they never came in the house.

I was born in a third world country, and came over as an infant. My family has earned, inherited, and lost, a fortune before immigrating to the US. My mother was raised by a nanny, and then became a housemaid herself when the family's fortune's fell.

So, the concept of domestic help is not alien to me, and I also feel a lot of warmth for the profession.

Americans don't like maids and nannies because y'all feel that the job is somehow demeaning, and having domestic help is "putting on airs" and "getting uppity." Well, it's not. It's an honorable way to make a living, taking care of and loving infants and children. the same person who judges someone for having the means to afford domestic help has no problem ordering around an overworked minimum wage worker in some fast food joint working 3 jobs trying to support a wife a kid. That worker probably has, dollar for earned dollar, a way more financially insecure and exploited life than a private nanny.

I love my nanny. I don't love her more than she loves my kids (which is plenty), but that's the way it should be. I see my kids and want to surround them with as many people who love them as possible. This includes the nanny, grandparents, etc. etc.

As long as this is an anonymous forum, I will just come out and state what I always felt: it's not HEALTHY for a woman whose sole purpose is to stay at home and not do anything else. It would be different if the husband also stayed at home, then you are just people of leisure and you have company. But this weird ideal that is imposed on American women that you should shoulder ALL of the childrearing and housekeeping while your husband works 80 hours a week and travels all the time is imbalanced.

Wonderfully said on all counts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never pay a stranger to raise my kids. It horrifies me just thinking about it.

Oh please. Stop being so provincial. You do know that nannies, nursemaids, ayas, baboes, governesses, etc. are the DEFAULT in how the rich have raised their precious offspring the world over for centuries, right?

We in the US have a mental block against domestic help. Americans are not comfortable with the concept! Very funny, actually. My husband is the same way. Midwestern middle class background, very awkward initially with our nanny and housekeeper. For some reason, the pool guy and gardener didn't befuddle him so much--maybe because they never came in the house.

I was born in a third world country, and came over as an infant. My family has earned, inherited, and lost, a fortune before immigrating to the US. My mother was raised by a nanny, and then became a housemaid herself when the family's fortune's fell.

So, the concept of domestic help is not alien to me, and I also feel a lot of warmth for the profession.

Americans don't like maids and nannies because y'all feel that the job is somehow demeaning, and having domestic help is "putting on airs" and "getting uppity." Well, it's not. It's an honorable way to make a living, taking care of and loving infants and children. the same person who judges someone for having the means to afford domestic help has no problem ordering around an overworked minimum wage worker in some fast food joint working 3 jobs trying to support a wife a kid. That worker probably has, dollar for earned dollar, a way more financially insecure and exploited life than a private nanny.

I love my nanny. I don't love her more than she loves my kids (which is plenty), but that's the way it should be. I see my kids and want to surround them with as many people who love them as possible. This includes the nanny, grandparents, etc. etc.

As long as this is an anonymous forum, I will just come out and state what I always felt: it's not HEALTHY for a woman whose sole purpose is to stay at home and not do anything else. It would be different if the husband also stayed at home, then you are just people of leisure and you have company. But this weird ideal that is imposed on American women that you should shoulder ALL of the childrearing and housekeeping while your husband works 80 hours a week and travels all the time is imbalanced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never pay a stranger to raise my kids. It horrifies me just thinking about it.

Oh please. Stop being so provincial. You do know that nannies, nursemaids, ayas, baboes, governesses, etc. are the DEFAULT in how the rich have raised their precious offspring the world over for centuries, right?

We in the US have a mental block against domestic help. Americans are not comfortable with the concept! Very funny, actually. My husband is the same way. Midwestern middle class background, very awkward initially with our nanny and housekeeper. For some reason, the pool guy and gardener didn't befuddle him so much--maybe because they never came in the house.

I was born in a third world country, and came over as an infant. My family has earned, inherited, and lost, a fortune before immigrating to the US. My mother was raised by a nanny, and then became a housemaid herself when the family's fortune's fell.

So, the concept of domestic help is not alien to me, and I also feel a lot of warmth for the profession.

Americans don't like maids and nannies because y'all feel that the job is somehow demeaning, and having domestic help is "putting on airs" and "getting uppity." Well, it's not. It's an honorable way to make a living, taking care of and loving infants and children. the same person who judges someone for having the means to afford domestic help has no problem ordering around an overworked minimum wage worker in some fast food joint working 3 jobs trying to support a wife a kid. That worker probably has, dollar for earned dollar, a way more financially insecure and exploited life than a private nanny.

I love my nanny. I don't love her more than she loves my kids (which is plenty), but that's the way it should be. I see my kids and want to surround them with as many people who love them as possible. This includes the nanny, grandparents, etc. etc.

As long as this is an anonymous forum, I will just come out and state what I always felt: it's not HEALTHY for a woman whose sole purpose is to stay at home and not do anything else. It would be different if the husband also stayed at home, then you are just people of leisure and you have company. But this weird ideal that is imposed on American women that you should shoulder ALL of the childrearing and housekeeping while your husband works 80 hours a week and travels all the time is imbalanced.

[/quote


Yes! Why don't women realize this?