OP, you do realize we'll all probably figure out who your DW is when she takes the job, right? we are resourceful folk here, on dcum.

How important is it for your children to stay in private school? There are plenty of great public schools in the DC area and many who move here switch from private to public once they see what is available.

What kind of spending cut are you actually going to be taking and where will it be coming from? You indicated that you currently save most of what your DC makes and intend to use that savings to the private schooling for your children, but how much will your current cash flow outside of housing (since you are downsizing) are you cutting? That will be where the rubber meets the road. If you plan on dropping high end activities, vacations and food budgets for smaller less expensive ones, that takes time and adjustment.

I have seen several friends and acquaintances go the opposite direction very quickly and it changes them. They start to expect a different level of service in restaurants, stores, support staff.... A few have come back to earth unexpectantly and have a hard time coming back to "reality" (if $170k is reality). Although the difference for you will be that you have chosen it. Plus, it is a different mind set to choose not spend $$$ on something when you can afford ( or to live relatively frugally) and having to do without and live frugally because of circumstance.

Good luck which ever way you and your DW decide. I do think it is mostly her decision, as you have said, but I also think you get to have some input.

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, was dw always planning to make this much? Or did she just do this for a few years to bank some cash so that she could do what she really wanted? It would be unfair to say she has to stay in this high paying job if this dream job with a more than adequate salary that could actually earn more money down the road is what she really wants.

+1

The thing is, was dw always planning to make this much? Or did she just do this for a few years to bank some cash so that she could do what she really wanted? It would be unfair to say she has to stay in this high paying job if this dream job with a more than adequate salary that could actually earn more money down the road is what she really wants.

Anonymous wrote:Op: your original post is fine but from your responses I can't tell which way you want to be persuaded. Looks like you have already made up your mind and you are here boasting and trying to work your way through the excitement. A high achiever who is targeted for an important job should not need DCUM to tell them how to think about this decision.

PP, I appreciate your response but I am truly conflicted between what is best for my spouse and their dreams and ambitions, and what I feel might be best for the rest of the family (i.e., status quo). Ultimately, it is not an easy decision for me as it will involve a major change, but I want to be supportive of DW. If truth be told, I was probably looking for some arguments against that would validate some of the thoughts I have about the whole matter. I would not boast, as what seems like a good opportunity to us would no doubt be looked down upon as not good enough to merit the financial tradeoff by others on this forum.

Op: your original post is fine but from your responses I can't tell which way you want to be persuaded. Looks like you have already made up your mind and you are here boasting and trying to work your way through the excitement. A high achiever who is targeted for an important job should not need DCUM to tell them how to think about this decision.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's on the short list for the next Chair of the Federal Reserve or similar. Even still, do these people stay in these positions for 6 years? I hope you banked a lot of that $1.75M and are prepared to live like regular folk.

No, DW is not Janet Yellen.

What kind of woman making $1 million doesn't want a man capable of making at least $2 million? I smell resentment in your future dear hubby. Once that lifestyle changes I am sure she will be happy but then she will probably be annoyed because you will seem worthless. What is 60k going to do?

You are not worthless so that is not what I am saying. I am saying that men and women are different and I feel sorry for you all. Really it is a lose lose situation.

If it's in law, I wouldn't do it. There is zero stability these days -- if she is making 1.75 million now, she should keep taking that for as long as she has it; I really don't know of a firm that isn't pushing partners out right now. How do you know that she could get back to where she is at in 5-6 yrs? The market is changing a lot and even credentials that would have mattered 5 yrs ago don't as much bc no one wants one more person to share profit with.

Anonymous wrote:This post screams troll.... common, no one seriously considers a $1.5M dollar paycut.

Some people would, if the job was the right one. Members of Congress do it all the time.

This post screams troll.... common, no one seriously considers a $1.5M dollar paycut.

Anonymous wrote:I plan to look for work as well. However, I have been out of my field for the past eight years as a SAHP, and I am no longer the young guy.

Based on what I used to earn, I would hope with luck and work to find a job paying $60K/year. We will need to hire a part-time nanny to help with the kids.

I suspect that that is one of MANY lifestyle changes that is coming your way. Good luck with the transition!