Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on number of days/month of travel and if there is any extar vacation he is accumulating that you can perhaps use more frequently. and if you see any big expenses coming up that you can cover for: house? private school?

DH is basically using his accrued vacation to do this second consulting job. Instead of going on a summer vacation, he is using the time to do the consulting work.

DH normally earns about $250k per year. He has earned about $200k extra from this consulting role in the past 7 months. The consulting role will probably only last for another 1-2 years. DH thinks he should just milk it and save the money.

We have no large expenses coming up.

Wow. I can't even imagine that kind of cash - his first salary alone exceeds our joint HHI. But we still have loans, would like to buy a house in the next couple years, DD's college fund could also use more contributions, so if it were just for one year and DH promised not to renew, then I'd try to put it up with it. That would allow us to finish off our student loans, more than cover the down payment on a house and really pad DD's savings and we'd probably still have enough left over for maid service to help me out. It would be hard, but I'd go for it.

No, I wouldn't do it. But that's because my own schedule and pay are similar to those of your DH, and it would be awful for both parents to be away so much.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. In fact, my DH just took a lower paying job to spend more time with the family. These years with our children are priceless.

This was us too. He has the skills so he can get the job later when the kids are older. Right no family matters more.

Would take it in a heartbeat.

I'm going to give you the same advice that I give my friends who have been in long-distance relationships (DH and I were in a long-distance relationship before getting married): it's healthy and doable as long as there is an end date.

If he loves it (and the $ is obviously fantastic), you need to come to an agreement about exactly how long this will go on for. It's much easier to get through a difficult period when you know that it will only go on for 8 more months or whatever it is. When you don't know exactly when it's going to end, it feels interminable.

Also, take a look around you and take note of what's positive in your life. My DH also travels heavily for work (multiple times per month) and while it can suck, I think about our friend with two young kids whose husband in the army has done 3 tours in Iraq/Afghanistan. I'm not saying you have to love your current situation and that you should live with it forever, but sometimes looking at the lives of others can help you realize that your situation may not be quite as bad as you think.

Jeez, have him work for a few years, save the money, hire lots of help, get a live-in. I'd kill for that.

Anonymous wrote:DH has a very niche technical skill and was offered a very lucrative consulting role earlier this year. He can pick up $10,000-$50,000 extra per month. Since the money was good, DH accepted the consulting role and DH can do the work when he is available but it requires him to travel about 2x per month. It has been about 6 months and this extra consulting job is basically at the expense of ALL DH's free time. DH thinks he should continue doing the work and we should save the $. I personally don't think it is worth the expense of all our family time. DH doesn't like being away from our family either. He doesn't particularly enjoy the work. It's just purely for the money.

Would you have your DH continue to work the extra hours for the money?

If you (the wife and mother) were offered $10-50,000 extra per month in exchange for all of your free time and traveling twice a month, would you take it? Would DH want you to take it? Would there be lots of people on DCUM telling you that you should take it?

Would not take it. My husband has a specialization in tax law and regularly gets calls from firms offering 300-400k. He did private for a few years right out of law school (making about 140k) to pay off loans but now works at the Feds making 155k with pretty much no chance to make much more. I would never want him back in private. the money would be great but I do NOT WANT TO BE A SINGLE PARENT. he is home every night at 6pm, we alternate the bedtime routine with our one kid so we each get personal time. I know we are lucky that we make as much as we do and have no student loans. I guess it really depends on how dire your financial situation is. For us, living in a transitional neighborhood in a smaller house but being together every night for dinner is what works for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on number of days/month of travel and if there is any extar vacation he is accumulating that you can perhaps use more frequently. and if you see any big expenses coming up that you can cover for: house? private school?

DH is basically using his accrued vacation to do this second consulting job. Instead of going on a summer vacation, he is using the time to do the consulting work.

DH normally earns about $250k per year. He has earned about $200k extra from this consulting role in the past 7 months. The consulting role will probably only last for another 1-2 years. DH thinks he should just milk it and save the money.

We have no large expenses coming up.

NP here. I initially was going to say "no way" but...that's a lot of money in a short amount of time. This sounds like a windfall and an opportunity that has dropped in your lap and I'd be loathe to turn it down. It depends on age of children, the rest of your local support network, and what the regular work week is like, but I'd lean toward doing it. We'd plan to keep our expenses the same and put all the consulting money toward other things. With a million dollars in 2 years, our family would pay off our mortgage and invest/save fully for retirement and kids' college.

Of course money is not everything and it can't buy happiness or time with your kids. But it can buy a lot of financial security which can translate (should your family choose to make it so) into time with kids and an earlier retirement in the longer term.

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

If this will set you up to have more financial independence once the kids are older, then you should keep on. DH is in a very demanding job now and we are saving like crazy so that when the kids are older, he can be there for every game and scouting trip.

Of course the time with your family is precious and priceless but we decided it would be better for the kids to have DH available and involved for older elementary onward instead of the really early years.

I was going to say this exactly!

My kids are 8 months and 3, and although it is always important to have dad around, I would absolutely do this if it meant he could be a big part of their lives as they get older. (Plus, we maybe could have another few kids with that $$, which we both want. Plus, I might be able to later pursue my totally-not-lucrative-but-fulfilling career with our stash of savings.)

In any case, it obviously totally depends on your situation, but the one thing I would definitely NOT do is make my husband work harder so that the kids and I could have a higher standard of living. We love him more than a McMansion, or a luxury car, and so forth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has a very niche technical skill and was offered a very lucrative consulting role earlier this year. He can pick up $10,000-$50,000 extra per month. Since the money was good, DH accepted the consulting role and DH can do the work when he is available but it requires him to travel about 2x per month. It has been about 6 months and this extra consulting job is basically at the expense of ALL DH's free time. DH thinks he should continue doing the work and we should save the $. I personally don't think it is worth the expense of all our family time. DH doesn't like being away from our family either. He doesn't particularly enjoy the work. It's just purely for the money.

Would you have your DH continue to work the extra hours for the money?

Wait a minute here - $10,000-$50,000 extra PER MONTH??? Some people make $30K - $50K in a whole year!

Rich people problems! I wish I had those.

Exactly!
On the subject- yes, absolutely, as my H is not much help at home anyway. He plays with the kiddo after dinner, and in between bath time and bed, but I can absolutely hire someone to do that and I am sure he or she would deliver so much more quality.

Sounds like big law hours and big law pay without the law school or law school debt. Sweet.

I couldn't get behind this setup. You already make plenty of money. Once you get used to making even more money, it just becomes that much harder to take a pay cut. So, what's to say DH will want to stop doing the extra work in 1-2 years? They'll probably be another opportunity after that, and then another. Where does it end?

Your kids would rather have a father than more money.

Anonymous wrote:DH has a very niche technical skill and was offered a very lucrative consulting role earlier this year. He can pick up $10,000-$50,000 extra per month. Since the money was good, DH accepted the consulting role and DH can do the work when he is available but it requires him to travel about 2x per month. It has been about 6 months and this extra consulting job is basically at the expense of ALL DH's free time. DH thinks he should continue doing the work and we should save the $. I personally don't think it is worth the expense of all our family time. DH doesn't like being away from our family either. He doesn't particularly enjoy the work. It's just purely for the money.

Would you have your DH continue to work the extra hours for the money?

Wait a minute here - $10,000-$50,000 extra PER MONTH??? Some people make $30K - $50K in a whole year!

Rich people problems! I wish I had those.

ABSOLUTELY!!!! He barely has any quality time at home as it is, working until 7PM and some saturdays. I'd take the double pay.