I went through an awful period of insomnia a few years back. I still shutter. SO sorry you are going through this, OP.
I finally broke down and saw my PCP who prescribed Ambien and sent me on my way. It worked but I was afraid to take it more than once a week and if I didn't I couldn't sleep. Saw another PCP. She had me take Lunesta every day for about 2 weeks, no questions. She said "don't think about it, or ask yourself if you need it, just take it every day for 2 weeks." After that, I took it every other day for a week or two. After that, I was to try going without it. For me that worked. The idea was to get over the exhaustion and the anxiety, into a good sleep cycle, and then see if I could maintain the sleep without the meds.
It really worked for me, and now I only need it on rare occasions. You might want to try this, or at least check with your doctor to see if s/he might recommend it for you.
Good luck.

I have had some awful bouts of insomnia. For me, it is anxiety related (I don't know if the anxiety caused the insomnia, or the insomnia caused the anxiety), but it is all rooted in anxiety. When you start dreading the night, being nervous about sleep, etc., you need to get to the root of the problem. For me, that was starting zoloft and trazadone. Once (and only once) the zoloft fully kicked in (about 6-8 weeks), I was able to start weaning off of the trazadone. I did it very gradually, over around 6 months. I still remain on the zoloft, and now, when I have bouts of insomnia, the anxiety about it is gone. I just accept it, which actually shortens the insomnia cycle.

In essence, do what you can to get your anxiety under control. At the same time, take whatever medications to enable you to sleep. Then, once you hit a calm, you can wean off the sleep meds.

That's what has worked for me.

I'm 34 and have struggled with insomnia on and off for years. I'm an anxious person and so lots of things can keep me up at night. I saw a sleep therapist for a while. The most helpful thing she taught me was to get a notepad and write down everything that was stressful to me during the day and a possible solution to it. It didn't have to be detailed, just something to address the problem. That helped but in the worst times Ambien was a lifesaver. I don't take it often but knowing that it's an option for some reason makes it easier to fall asleep on my own.

A cold shower before bed helps me. I know it sounds counter productive but there's something about how warm and comfy my covers feel after I get out that puts me right to sleep.

Benadryl