Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you consider this when you are 20. Should a woman change her mind and decide she wants to be at home, she should not feel pressured or in a state of panic. How many women have to go through this before the light goes off. Ding. Maybe I should plan a career based on the fact that I might want kids. Ding, maybe deciding what to do at the last minute won't work. Ding, even if I never have kids I will still be able to support myself.

This is not to be rude to you OP. It is because I post the same thing all the time and people act like its a bizarre concept. You don't ask this 2 weeks before you go back to work. You figure out a plan years before you have kids.

It is rude.

I actually don't think it is and I will be 40 weeks on Wednesday. We don't really think about this...at least I didn't. Now at least I can share this with my little girl or other girls I mentor...if they are the type to know they wanted kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you consider this when you are 20. Should a woman change her mind and decide she wants to be at home, she should not feel pressured or in a state of panic. How many women have to go through this before the light goes off. Ding. Maybe I should plan a career based on the fact that I might want kids. Ding, maybe deciding what to do at the last minute won't work. Ding, even if I never have kids I will still be able to support myself.

This is not to be rude to you OP. It is because I post the same thing all the time and people act like its a bizarre concept. You don't ask this 2 weeks before you go back to work. You figure out a plan years before you have kids.

It is rude.

May be rude, but oh so true. A man is not a plan.

+1000. It absolutely amazes me how many people don't have a plan and then are disappointed when things don't work out like they'd like them to.

NP here. I had a great plan: my plan was to never have kids. My plan was to make partner at my firm in my early 30s, squirrel away my cash, and retire in my early 40s. Around 28 I changed careers but still didn't plan to have kids. Then when I was 33 DH and I decided, in pretty much no time at all, to get pregnant. So now I have a kid who I love -- and a house, career, income balance, and spouse that I all chose based on a scenario in which I didn't have children. Plans change, and we do the best with what we have at the time.

I tell lots of young women the same thing as PP above -- pick the career, spouse, etc. that supports the life you want to have. The problem is that people in their 20s have no idea what kind of life they actually want to have, or what it takes to sustain that.

FWIW, I could probably stay home if we were willing to drastically reduce our spending and/or leave the DC area. Those are options, too, OP. Put off any decisions until you're further away from the immediate postpartum hormones, and then make a family decision as to how money and time are best spent.

I WAH full time and have a very flexible job. I started with child are from 9-3, and worked additional hours in the morning and evening. It was pretty stressful and I burned out quickly. Turns out, to do a solid 40 hours of quality work and not be a frazzled, forgetful mess, I need 40 hours of childcare. I think people really are trying to give people like OP the benefit of their experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you consider this when you are 20. Should a woman change her mind and decide she wants to be at home, she should not feel pressured or in a state of panic. How many women have to go through this before the light goes off. Ding. Maybe I should plan a career based on the fact that I might want kids. Ding, maybe deciding what to do at the last minute won't work. Ding, even if I never have kids I will still be able to support myself.

This is not to be rude to you OP. It is because I post the same thing all the time and people act like its a bizarre concept. You don't ask this 2 weeks before you go back to work. You figure out a plan years before you have kids.

It is rude.

May be rude, but oh so true. A man is not a plan.

+1000. It absolutely amazes me how many people don't have a plan and then are disappointed when things don't work out like they'd like them to.

Anonymous wrote:I do college admissions consulting on the side. It's easily a six figure income if you want it to be. I mostly do it cause I enjoy it, but the extra income doesn't hurt either.

How? And how do you prepare yourself for that field? I'm serious. Sounds interesting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you consider this when you are 20. Should a woman change her mind and decide she wants to be at home, she should not feel pressured or in a state of panic. How many women have to go through this before the light goes off. Ding. Maybe I should plan a career based on the fact that I might want kids. Ding, maybe deciding what to do at the last minute won't work. Ding, even if I never have kids I will still be able to support myself.

This is not to be rude to you OP. It is because I post the same thing all the time and people act like its a bizarre concept. You don't ask this 2 weeks before you go back to work. You figure out a plan years before you have kids.

It is rude.

May be rude, but oh so true. A man is not a plan.