Married DH when he was 31. MiL is sometimes very nice and sometimes a bitch (to both me and DH). She has a tendency to talk about me behind my back if we (DH and I) do something different than what she wants or thinks. Thankfully DH always stands up for me. And these are for silly things like ...DH and i sharing the cleaning responsibilities. She thinks the wife should do it all so if they arent up to her standards, she bad mouths me to my mom, my SIL and whio knows who else. She offers to babysit DS then bitches about it to her husband. We hire a babysitter instead, she bitches to my mom.

Anonymous wrote:Meh. MIL is likely threatened by having a young, ovulating woman in the family. Yes, its that simple. Ignore and move on. Decide who matters. Hint: it is NEVER (yes, never) the negative people.

That makes little sense to me. Why would I care if another woman is ovulating or not ovulating? I'm not a MIL but I'm in my later 40's...and if I stopped having my period TODAY I would be celebrating, lol.

Meh. MIL is likely threatened by having a young, ovulating woman in the family. Yes, its that simple. Ignore and move on. Decide who matters. Hint: it is NEVER (yes, never) the negative people.

I think, as with any relationship you enter into that is not really by "choice" its luck of the draw. Since when has getting married in the whole of your 20s considered "young marriage"? Really, 28 year olds are not child brides! If a man is dependent on mama in some way at 24-25 (assuming a 2-4 years to really stand on his own after college) then they probably may keep that habit well into their 30s if single.

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Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine EVER calling my husband's mom a derogatory word. Ever. And I can't imagine my husband saying nasty things about MY mom.

Issues arise in almost every family at some point. No need to be nasty about it.

Must be nice to have a decent MIL.

It is. But even if I didn't, I love my husband and if HE values the relationship that he has with his parents than those people are important to me, too. I would never call the people that he loves nasty names because I love him. I hope that makes sense.

I would never call her a nasty name to her face - actually not really out loud at all. And I 100% support her relationship with my DH and my kids (within boundaries, of course). But I will never have a normal, happy relationship with her. I mourned that for a while after I realized it, but it is what it is.

Give it time and be patient. She may not be everything that you had hoped for in a MIL and maybe you're not everything that she had hoped for in a DIL, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't have some good qualities. Accept her for the flawed human being that she is and don't expect her to be someone that she's not.

I'm not going to have any kind of relationship with her myself after all of the crap she's pulled. Again, she can see DH and the kids and I'll even tolerate having her in our home, but that's really it.

I was 23 and DW was 18 when we started going out, and we were married 7 years later. My mother has never been fond of DW, but I think that's more due to religion than anything else (mother is hard core catholic and wanted me to marry a catholic girl). I am adopted, and interestingly enough, DW and my natural mom get along great.

My MIL was a stepmonster to my husband.

She refused to come into my house and instead would sit in the car clutching her purse when my husband's father visited.

She was the most hateful old bat. When she died, I wanted to throw garlic in her coffin and hammer a stake through her heart.

My husband said when his father dies, he's taking the old bitch out of the crypt and calling her kids to come collect her sorry bones. I laugh.

Just before she died she called me and said I had been a good mother. Compared to her, I was mother of the year for life !!!