Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 14:55     Subject: Re:Stuck because of my husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP: What do YOU think is a good salary here? We'll let you know if it is, and where you can hope to live on that. Also, schools suck in DC proper, but are very good in Fairfax, Arlington, and Montgomery County, which is right next to DC.

I don't mean schools literally in DC, but in the metropolitan area.

Our income now is 120k and our mortgage is 250k. Taxes and COL are very low. Our real estate tax is $500.

I expect in DC our income would be 250-300k. Is that enough?


What's your calculation on the 250-300k? Your DH makes 120k now, I wouldn't expect a huge salary bump-up for him. Maybe 30k. So you have that much earning potential?
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 14:53     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
Can you work remotely?
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 14:07     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
$250 - $300k in DC is equivalent to $100k in many other places...but with a lot more headache and stress..

Rent $2000 / month (and that's cheap)
Utilities $500 / month
Daycare for 2 (one is school age) $2000 / month

And we do not have a fancy life or live in an expensive part of DC
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 13:08     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
Anonymous wrote:We live in a small town (200K population) in another state. DH earns a great living, his job is pretty secure and the cost of living here is very low.

I took a break when DC was born and now, a few years later, want to get back to work. I keep facing the same issue over and over again. The town is small and I have no luck here. Yet I frequently get inquiries regarding positions in other cities and states. And every time I have to turn it down because I can't relocate. DH can get a job in DC in a heart bit, and I'm getting interview requests for positions there. Yet he's reluctant to move and change jobs. While I think it would be beneficial not only for me, but our DC because a city is more stimulating and the schools are better there.

Have you had similar experience? Any advice?


On what planet is 200k a small town? Small city, maybe. A small town is 10k or less. Can you work online from home? The grass is always greener........
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 12:53     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
DC schools are not very good I hope you mean DC area VA/MD schools
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 12:51     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Take note fellas, don't marry a woman who thinks her career is more important than her family.


Yes, women too have rights to careers. Welcome to 20th century.
21st century is even better.


He needs to catch up on the 20th first.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 12:20     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
Anonymous wrote:300k will be peanuts unless you come in with a large cash down payment (500k+) or am willing to live 30 miles from DC. You are living the dream all of us middle class folk in DC dream of. Stable job in low COL and option SAHM. Do some online job or work at private school and enroll kid there.


if you are doing public school and are willing to not live in a McMansion, ^this is BS. $300k is perfectly adequate to live here comfortably, especially if you aren't planning on buying, right away or at all.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 11:56     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for your feedback.

I do wonder how good are the public schools in DC area really? Are they best in the country? Are they competitive with European education?

I wouldn't necessary settle down in DC. I was thinking of just living there while DC goes to school, renting, and then moving back to the low cost of living.
Spend some time on the private/public school threads for this area. While you will encounter some 3rd grade drama from adults, there is still good information if you intend on coming this way.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 11:51     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Take note fellas, don't marry a woman who thinks her career is more important than her family.


Yes, women too have rights to careers. Welcome to 20th century.
21st century is even better.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 11:37     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
300k will be peanuts unless you come in with a large cash down payment (500k+) or am willing to live 30 miles from DC. You are living the dream all of us middle class folk in DC dream of. Stable job in low COL and option SAHM. Do some online job or work at private school and enroll kid there.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 11:33     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
You pay $500/year in property tax? I'm very jealous...that's what I pay per month in Fairfax County.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 11:28     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
OP I think you are living in a fantasy land regarding your views on DC.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 11:16     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
OP here. Thanks for your feedback.

I do wonder how good are the public schools in DC area really? Are they best in the country? Are they competitive with European education?

I wouldn't necessary settle down in DC. I was thinking of just living there while DC goes to school, renting, and then moving back to the low cost of living.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 10:10     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your husband should have screened you properly before marriage. But since he did not, I would advise him not to leave his secure, nice paying job in an area with a low cost of living just because he is being nagged by his wife. I would advise him to find something else to occupy your time. Whether that be a job, starting a business, or even focusing on your child.

But the chances are it is a lose lose for him, because no matter what, you will find something to complain about. If he finds a new job in an area with a higher col you will be mad that he doesn't make enough and that even with your pay you still feel stressed and a little behind. At least staying but allows him to maintain a nice financial balance.

If you feel held back by your DH, then by all means set yourself free but don't go whining about how mean your DH is. Good luck with that.


I enjoy my life and am not complaining about it. However, 1) My career has been the sacrificial lamb in our family; and 2) The schools here are really not good.

And what about my financial balance? If my husband was gone tomorrow I'd left unemployed and with a multi-year gap in my resume and behind in my skills.



That's what life insurance is for, honey.
That depends on how much life insurance one has, sweetie.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2013 10:02     Subject: Stuck because of my husband
Anonymous wrote:We live in a small town (200K population) in another state. DH earns a great living, his job is pretty secure and the cost of living here is very low.

I took a break when DC was born and now, a few years later, want to get back to work. I keep facing the same issue over and over again. The town is small and I have no luck here. Yet I frequently get inquiries regarding positions in other cities and states. And every time I have to turn it down because I can't relocate. DH can get a job in DC in a heart bit, and I'm getting interview requests for positions there. Yet he's reluctant to move and change jobs. While I think it would be beneficial not only for me, but our DC because a city is more stimulating and the schools are better there.

Have you had similar experience? Any advice?
Sounds like you have decent work credentials if you are getting out of state inquiries. A town of 200,000 should have some university nearby where you could go. You might need to make a career change if you continue to stay in that area. There may be jobs that would allow you to telecommute. Be creative. Yours is not a lost cause.