Hooking up, free love, whatever each new generation wants to call it, it's just sad and ultimately pretty empty. Call me an old fogey for not getting this latest iteration of men getting what they want and women saying they're liberated... the dynamics of real relationships don't change and turning your feelings off ultimately has a cost.

Anonymous wrote:Really? Go to college for a month and see how many people are dating.

There is a big difference between "not dating" and "hooking up" in frequency and expectations around the encounters.

Really? Go to college for a month and see how many people are dating.

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever looked at college prowler or a guide book about dating at college? It is mostly a sad hookup scene.

No, but I have read the surveys cited in the HP article and they suggest this is overstated.

"The hookup culture starts with people born around 1979."

I was in college before 1979 and you are incorrect.

Have you ever looked at college prowler or a guide book about dating at college? It is mostly a sad hookup scene.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hookup culture has been around for a long time. It was going on in the 80's and 90's. It is not helping young adults to mature. If anything, it is stunting them emotionally. The work hard/party hard mentality only benefits men. The hookup culture would not be going on if college kids were not getting wasted every weekend. Getting drunk and having sex does not help you grow up. It just prolongs a self centered and an immature way of relating to people. Why are people delaying marriage? Because they don't care enough about members of the opposite sex. There is no love and respect if you can just get drunk and have sex. If a college guy is so emotionally delayed he can't imagine caring about a woman sober then what good are these young men to women anyway? College women would be better off learning the art of maturbation so they don't have to deal with drunk guys looking to use them, risk getting pregnant, an STD, or a bad reputation. College women are doing great at every other aspect in their lives except having meaningful relationships with guys. These college boys are useless to college women.[/quote]

Even so, I wasn't that way -- I was a romantic -- and I found a nice guy in that period. The hookups get the press because they seem sexier than supposedly boring relationships. Just as then, now there are still nice people finding each other. People are still getting married, at least according to the endless supply of marriage reality TV shows. Nice people will always manage to find each other.[/quote]

+1. If the NY Times wants to sell copies of the Sunday edition, it isn't going to do a feature story on PP and me. If you go to the Huffington Post article that was linked to above, a survey showed that something like 1/4 or 1/3 of college kids were virgins at graduation and the majority of Harvard kids had 2-3 partners by graduation. [/quote]

Good point. The Huff Post article also said that "only 1 in 10 people in college said they had had casual sex in college, with men being twice as likely as women to have such an encounter."

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hookup culture has been around for a long time. It was going on in the 80's and 90's. It is not helping young adults to mature. If anything, it is stunting them emotionally. The work hard/party hard mentality only benefits men. The hookup culture would not be going on if college kids were not getting wasted every weekend. Getting drunk and having sex does not help you grow up. It just prolongs a self centered and an immature way of relating to people. Why are people delaying marriage? Because they don't care enough about members of the opposite sex. There is no love and respect if you can just get drunk and have sex. If a college guy is so emotionally delayed he can't imagine caring about a woman sober then what good are these young men to women anyway? College women would be better off learning the art of maturbation so they don't have to deal with drunk guys looking to use them, risk getting pregnant, an STD, or a bad reputation. College women are doing great at every other aspect in their lives except having meaningful relationships with guys. These college boys are useless to college women.[/quote]

Even so, I wasn't that way -- I was a romantic -- and I found a nice guy in that period. The hookups get the press because they seem sexier than supposedly boring relationships. Just as then, now there are still nice people finding each other. People are still getting married, at least according to the endless supply of marriage reality TV shows. Nice people will always manage to find each other.[/quote]

+1. If the NY Times wants to sell copies of the Sunday edition, it isn't going to do a feature story on PP and me. If you go to the Huffington Post article that was linked to above, a survey showed that something like 1/4 or 1/3 of college kids were virgins at graduation and the majority of Harvard kids had 2-3 partners by graduation.

[quote=Anonymous]Hookup culture has been around for a long time. It was going on in the 80's and 90's. It is not helping young adults to mature. If anything, it is stunting them emotionally. The work hard/party hard mentality only benefits men. The hookup culture would not be going on if college kids were not getting wasted every weekend. Getting drunk and having sex does not help you grow up. It just prolongs a self centered and an immature way of relating to people. Why are people delaying marriage? Because they don't care enough about members of the opposite sex. There is no love and respect if you can just get drunk and have sex. If a college guy is so emotionally delayed he can't imagine caring about a woman sober then what good are these young men to women anyway? College women would be better off learning the art of maturbation so they don't have to deal with drunk guys looking to use them, risk getting pregnant, an STD, or a bad reputation. College women are doing great at every other aspect in their lives except having meaningful relationships with guys. These college boys are useless to college women.[/quote]

Even so, I wasn't that way -- I was a romantic -- and I found a nice guy in that period. The hookups get the press because they seem sexier than supposedly boring relationships. Just as then, now there are still nice people finding each other. People are still getting married, at least according to the endless supply of marriage reality TV shows. Nice people will always manage to find each other.

Hookup culture has been around for a long time. It was going on in the 80's and 90's. It is not helping young adults to mature. If anything, it is stunting them emotionally. The work hard/party hard mentality only benefits men. The hookup culture would not be going on if college kids were not getting wasted every weekend. Getting drunk and having sex does not help you grow up. It just prolongs a self centered and an immature way of relating to people. Why are people delaying marriage? Because they don't care enough about members of the opposite sex. There is no love and respect if you can just get drunk and have sex. If a college guy is so emotionally delayed he can't imagine caring about a woman sober then what good are these young men to women anyway? College women would be better off learning the art of maturbation so they don't have to deal with drunk guys looking to use them, risk getting pregnant, an STD, or a bad reputation. College women are doing great at every other aspect in their lives except having meaningful relationships with guys. These college boys are useless to college women.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Went to an elite LA college in the early 00's...girls were just as much into the hookup culture as men. Very little dating. Too much work to do. Hooking up is/was a release. This article is a big yawn.[/quote]

Sounds like a generation of narcissistic sociopaths. Just using other people to get off. Sorry, much to busy to get to know you from the waist up. Meaningless and gross.[/quote]

I always thought women marrying for money and security was meaningless and gross. Go for it millenials, Signed Baby Boomer [/quote]

Jeez! There has to be a happy medium for the Romantics out there. Both the extremes you describe are meaningless. Signed, Gen Xer

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Went to an elite LA college in the early 00's...girls were just as much into the hookup culture as men. Very little dating. Too much work to do. Hooking up is/was a release. This article is a big yawn.

Sounds like a generation of narcissistic sociopaths. Just using other people to get off. Sorry, much to busy to get to know you from the waist up. Meaningless and gross.

I always thought women marrying for money and security was meaningless and gross. Go for it millenials, Signed Baby Boomer

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Ivies are not on the cutting edge of culture. Ivies are conservative culturally correct. It is a very controlled and stage environment, created by admission process. It's many years behind in terms of youth culture. So, don't think this is some new movement, it's been here for some time.

+1

The Ivies have become culturally sterile and I doubt many associated with the schools care at all. This isn't anything new, it was the big state schools of the West and Midwest (e.g., Cal, UW Madison) that led the way in cultural change as far back as the 60's. What was the last cultural trend that began in the East Coast of the U.S.?

Culturally sterile = lagging in the hookup culture?

I don't think so. There are way too many dimensions of "culture" to make generalizations like this. For example, I can name more bands and such that come out of Ivies, except maybe Athens, Georgia, and that was a while back.

Anonymous wrote:The Ivies are not on the cutting edge of culture. Ivies are conservative culturally correct. It is a very controlled and stage environment, created by admission process. It's many years behind in terms of youth culture. So, don't think this is some new movement, it's been here for some time.

+1

The Ivies have become culturally sterile and I doubt many associated with the schools care at all. This isn't anything new, it was the big state schools of the West and Midwest (e.g., Cal, UW Madison) that led the way in cultural change as far back as the 60's. What was the last cultural trend that began in the East Coast of the U.S.?

The Ivies are not on the cutting edge of culture. Ivies are conservative culturally correct. It is a very controlled and stage environment, created by admission process. It's many years behind in terms of youth culture. So, don't think this is some new movement, it's been here for some time.