Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recommend signing her up for a defensive driving course and taking one alongside her so it's not just about her. My husband and I enrolled all of our kids in a similar course after they got their licenses and it's been a great thing. We went to the BSR class at Summit Point.

This is excellent advice. It underscores that is about both drivers being safe for the family and diminishes the notion that it's a punishment for wife.

why do women need to be handled with kid gloves? why can't they take the straight dope?

It's not all women. The OP's wife seems to have a hair trigger when it comes to criticism of her driving.

But personally, I don't see how the kid gloves would help with her anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recommend signing her up for a defensive driving course and taking one alongside her so it's not just about her. My husband and I enrolled all of our kids in a similar course after they got their licenses and it's been a great thing. We went to the BSR class at Summit Point.

This is excellent advice. It underscores that is about both drivers being safe for the family and diminishes the notion that it's a punishment for wife.

why do women need to be handled with kid gloves? why can't they take the straight dope?

OP, I am sorry. Your wife not only has a driving problem, she has a terrible anger problem. That's why you should be looking into divorce, not because of her speeding. It's her inability to take responsibility for her own actions.

Did you ever find out where she had been that last time, when your daughter was covering for her? Was it an affair? I only ask because that level of belligerence is something cheaters often demonstrate. We point that out when women say their husbands act angry all the time, so it is only fair to ask it this time.

Anonymous wrote:I ordered a copy of her record. She is at -10 points now. This will put her at -16. She will be required to go to traffic school. I tell her this, and she tells me f**k you and throws a glass of water in my face. Says, as always, I am not "taking her side." Time to call a divorce lawyer.

Yes. She's not going to change. All you can do is learn to cope with her behavior.
It sounds like she has a personality disorder, and there is no cure for that.
And you are so, so angry - I recognize your "voice" from other posts.
Obviously we're not hearing her perspective but it does seem to be time to at least consult with a lawyer - and a therapist - to talk things through.

I ordered a copy of her record. She is at -10 points now. This will put her at -16. She will be required to go to traffic school. I tell her this, and she tells me f**k you and throws a glass of water in my face. Says, as always, I am not "taking her side." Time to call a divorce lawyer.

JHC! I just went on-line and viewed her ticket - she was going 57 mph in a 25 mph zone! Ugh! She complains I am going "too slow" when I am 10 mikes over the limit. The last time I got a ticket that was not a speed camera was probably 20 years ago.p, speed camera six years ago on 395 in DC for 55 mph in what turned out to be a 45 mph zone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"recommend signing her up for a defensive driving course and taking one alongside her"

yes, and present it to her in a way that you're both doing it to keep your insurance costs lower as well as for the safety of the family...

Why? what is so terrible about her taking responsibility for her actions? Why all this walking on eggshells. Why do we perpetuate this concept that women are so weak and vulnerable, like delicate little flowers that they can't be held responsible? That we have to pretend like it is a different issue so that she never feels bad?

As a woman, this attitude disgusts me.

Yes, and the fact that she is argumentative with the officer and defensive and won't accept fault - that's all kinds of f-ed up and at this point I wouldn't be babying and coddling her.
She is driving recklessly and this needs to stop.
It IS her fault. Not sure how OP should approach this with her because she sounds like a piece of work.

Goddammit! She just got another freaking ticket. She needs to get a job to start paying her insurance premiums, I am sick of it! Il ready told her once she's going to start taking the bus! Ugh!

Okay, my husband calls me a terrible driver but it's because I dont drive quickly enough, slowly enough, signal too much, don't signal enough, spend too much time looking for other cars at intersections, don't look enough at intersections, etc. I hate driving with him in the car and he makes me beyond anxious with the controlling.

You, OP, have a fair case. Make her take a defensive driving course -- you can take it together but it's not necessary.

Pls try to find an alternative to her driving the kids around in the interim.