Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who knows what happens if an 18 year old "emancipates" himself? Would he get a better deal on his education loans/financial aid? What would happen to health insurance?

(Goddammit, this country's stupid lack of infrastructure to support its #1 resource (smart, healthy people) makes me effin' crazy.)

I know, my DH spent a year trying to do this for financial reasons at the private university we attended. They won't let you emancipate yourself for financial aid purposes until the age of 23. So maybe your snowflake could wait 5 years?

Wow. Appears you're right. From some random web site:

"Warning

The court order for emancipation must be in effect at the time of your financial aid application for you to be considered emancipated. In addition, if you were over the age of 18 at the time of the court's decision, you will be considered a dependent student for financial aid purposes, even if your parents are not supporting you.

Read more: http://www.ehow.com/about_7503790_can-college-financial-aid-emancipated.html#ixzz2YKM00ywG"


How incredibly stupid.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should clarify that my friend don't say she would "make them" as much as she assumed at least one or two of her kids would go to her school or one of the 12 participating schools. I was just surprised that an upper middle class family who COULD save for a college of their DCs choice decides to go this route. I think it's unfair to the DC who will feel pressured to go to the "free school" instead of starting their adult life the way they deserve to.

13 schools is plenty of choice.

If a kid gets to start his adult life with a degree, without debt, and without having to worry about his parents in their retirement, that's way more than most people get, and more than he "deserves".

My kid will have the option of going debt free to a public school in MD, or he can choose another school if he gets good financial or merit aid. Coincidentally that list has 13 schools too.

A free or discounted college education would be a great deal. I used to think that it was important to go away to school. But with college prices where they are at I think it is smarter to get the best education you can for the best price. I think a young adult can gain plenty of experience by moving to a new city after graduating from college. I moved to DC when I was 22 after college and that was a real growth period. I met people from all over the country and world and I had a job to support myself. I didn't do this on my parents dime.

For those who work at a college or university, don't forget that your child may not get into that school.

Yes, we plan to. By the time DCs are in college, this benefit may be worth $300,000 over 4 years. I don't think choice is more important than starting off adult life on firm financial foundation. Our free tuition is at a highly ranked, large private school however.

Anonymous wrote:Who knows what happens if an 18 year old "emancipates" himself? Would he get a better deal on his education loans/financial aid? What would happen to health insurance?

(Goddammit, this country's stupid lack of infrastructure to support its #1 resource (smart, healthy people) makes me effin' crazy.)

I know, my DH spent a year trying to do this for financial reasons at the private university we attended. They won't let you emancipate yourself for financial aid purposes until the age of 23. So maybe your snowflake could wait 5 years?

Anonymous wrote:Undergrad is just a stepping stone. It's grad school that really matters. As long as it was a well respected school, is expect them to go for free or get scholarships/loans somewhere else.

This really depends on what you major in.

Ha ha ha, PP. So you pay $50k a year to appease the child? Whatever. I'm confident my kids will understand finances enough to make smart choices. They definitely won't feel entitled to anything (despite the fact that we are solidly upper middle class). And they will understand our financial situation as a whole....because I will explain it to them. DH and I will one day need to retire, and might even need nursing homes, etc down the road....so we are definitely NOT footing the bill so a kid can turn down a full ride. If we have to pay, then of course we will pay for a school that we can afford.

PS - ditto for grad school. And I won't encourage my kids to take out loans. I have so many lawyer friends who graduated $200k in debt (bc I went to undergrad in state and my parents could afford it, I only had to take out a small loan for in state tuition at law school....made a big difference in my current financial security).

Teach your kids now about the importance of making smart choices when it comes to spending money.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should clarify that my friend don't say she would "make them" as much as she assumed at least one or two of her kids would go to her school or one of the 12 participating schools. I was just surprised that an upper middle class family who COULD save for a college of their DCs choice decides to go this route. I think it's unfair to the DC who will feel pressured to go to the "free school" instead of starting their adult life the way they deserve to.

I think an argument could be made that every kid who wants to go to college and has earned the grades in HS to be admitted to college "deserves" to go. As for "deserving" to choose their own school, saddling either their parents or their children with massive debt? HELL no.

It would be unfair of me to tell my kid she couldn't go to college because I didn't go and look at me, I'm just fine, and what, does she think she's better than me?? That's "unfair". As for pressuring my kid not to do something stupid (like start life on her own with $200k worth of debt), in no way is that unfair.

You, OP, are what is wrong with kids today. Free school is a GOOD thing. Unlimited free choice for our children regardless of consequences is a BAD thing. You have it exactly backwards, and your kids will be mooching off you in their 40s if you don't take a firmer hand.

Who knows what happens if an 18 year old "emancipates" himself? Would he get a better deal on his education loans/financial aid? What would happen to health insurance?

(Goddammit, this country's stupid lack of infrastructure to support its #1 resource (smart, healthy people) makes me effin' crazy.)

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should clarify that my friend don't say she would "make them" as much as she assumed at least one or two of her kids would go to her school or one of the 12 participating schools. I was just surprised that an upper middle class family who COULD save for a college of their DCs choice decides to go this route. I think it's unfair to the DC who will feel pressured to go to the "free school" instead of starting their adult life the way they deserve to.

Wow. So not only does snowflake "deserve" to go to college on his or her parents' dime, but also "deserves" to go to a college that is a great "fit." Sorry, but in my book, that's not "starting their adult life." When you are an adult, you are expected to fit YOURSELF to the situation, or find a new situation. You don't just throw in the towel (or throw a tantrum) because you aren't in the ideal situation for you. If I worked at a university, I would expect my kids to go there or to find their own way into another school. I would talk to them about the fact that attending a free college that might not be a "great fit" would give them the chance to save money so they can have the flexibility to hold out for a career which IS a perfect fit, because they have no debt and some savings, rather than the opposite.

No one is entitled to a college that fits perfectly. You are entitles only to what you can earn for yourself.

Please see the "If you grew up poor" thread.

Anonymous wrote:Force? No. But making a (presumably) excellent choice affordable? Sure, why not.

I opted to take advantage of that sort of arrangement, even though my parents DIScouraged me (they suggested it's good to leave home). But I couldn't justify anyone spending at the time $21,000/year when I could go for much, much less than that. As in zero tuition (though I had to pay for housing, which was $$$ enough).

I think some schools offer not just tuition at their own university, but some portion of tuition at any university?

+1
It all depends on DC's skills and if the college is a good fit. But overall, if it's a good school, of course I'd strongly encourage it, especially if I'm expected to pay tuition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make? No.

Strongly encourage? Yes.

This is a no-brainer decision. If DC doesn't see that then the parents should make the kid read personal finance books.

Right. Because if its a rotten fit and the kid ends up hating school and completely shutting down that's not a problem at all...

By the time he gets to college I anticipate that my kid will have made it through 18 years of schools that he had no say in, the last 4 chosen because they were the assigned school for our geographic. He has managed not to hate any of them to the point where he "shuts down". If your kid is really that fragile, he's probably best off at the very small liberal arts school that is close enough to allow him to commute from home.

I live in Baltimore I'd LOVE to get a job at Hopkins when the time comes and allow my kids to attend there for free. For me, the big drawback is the proximity to home. There is definitely something to be said about going to college in a new town/state/region. But then again, free tuition at a top ranked school is pretty hard to turn down.