Anonymous wrote:My DD used to do well at school but have massive meltdowns when she got home. Turns out she has ADHD and was working so hard to keep it together at school that she was just destroyed by the time she got home. Once we started treating the ADHD the meltdowns stopped and she was much happier.

Ignore the posters who have no idea what they are talking about.

This is a very common scenario. Unfortunately it can lead outsiders to believe that the problem is all in the parentings.... "The kid behaves perfectly well at school... must be the parent's shitty parenting"

But in some cases, the child has less developed thinking skills than other children the same age. -- such as difficulty switching gears, hard to make transitions, poor sense of passage of time, etc. -- and has been struggling to manage all day during school, and just has no more energy to do so on coming home. Also, hopefully home is her "Safe Place" where she CAN unload only if she has an intense temperament, it can come out as screaming tantrums.

If a child is losing control because she CAN'T control herself, then punishing will only make a bad situation worse. (And I am also an elementary school teacher, and I have seen both types of children -- those who pitch a fit for attention, and those who do so because they can't control themselves. Yes, it is important to know which type of child you are dealing with)

OP, I firmly believe that children will do well, and want to do well, if they can. Please check out this web site:

http://www.thinkkids.org

and also the book The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children

http://www.amazon.com/The-Explosive-Child-Understanding-Chronically/dp/0061906190/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373248809&sr=8-1&keywords=explosve+child

Finally, from the thinkkids.org web site, take a glance at the Thinking Skills Inventory and see if you see any obvious areas where your child may be lagging/have difficulty relative to other kids her age. When I did this with my child it was crystal clear where his problem lay -- didn't need a neuropsych exam (although 3 years later I ended up having one done anyhow and it confirmed everything I already knew about my child!)

http://www.thinkkids.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/TSI_clinical-9-12.pdf

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD used to do well at school but have massive meltdowns when she got home. Turns out she has ADHD and was working so hard to keep it together at school that she was just destroyed by the time she got home. Once we started treating the ADHD the meltdowns stopped and she was much happier.

Ignore the posters who have no idea what they are talking about.

Because we don't buy into the there-must-be-a-disorder hype, we don't know what we're talking about?

Don't assume. You have no idea. And not all of us wish to create victims.

Why don't you go back and read the posts? one poster wants OP to hit her child. Others say her child is a spoiled brat. Yes, i stand by saying that these posters don't know what they are talking about.

Whether or not there is a diagnosis OP needs professional help for her child. I KNOW you would do the same for yours, at least I hope you would. I posted about my DD who was VERY similar because I thought it would help. My DD suffered for a long time because we didn't get her evaluated. She's a teen now and has told us how she feels she lost years of her childhood because we delayed getting her ADHD addressed. I know how dramatic the before and after was so if this is even a possibility -- and none of us know -- OP should have it checked out.

Why does this threaten you? Why does the idea that OP just have her child evaluated because of a possibility of an addressable issue threaten you?

And for those of you with conspiracy theories about clinicians trolling for clients, the average wait in this area to see a developmental pediatrician is at least 8 months. OUrs has closed his practice so you can't see him at all. None of these folks are trolling for business.

Anonymous wrote:My DD used to do well at school but have massive meltdowns when she got home. Turns out she has ADHD and was working so hard to keep it together at school that she was just destroyed by the time she got home. Once we started treating the ADHD the meltdowns stopped and she was much happier.

Ignore the posters who have no idea what they are talking about.

Because we don't buy into the there-must-be-a-disorder hype, we don't know what we're talking about?

Don't assume. You have no idea. And not all of us wish to create victims.