Start with cultivating a work ethic. Start small. For me it was to tell my kids that the only thing I expected from them was to show up - for classes, practice whatever. If you will expose them to a lot of things, they will eventually find something that they like and/or are good at.

With the work ethic, success will come - first small and then big.

With the work-ethic and success - passion and joy will come.

OP I was a kid like your daughter. I had amazing musical ability, a beautiful voice - and for some strange reason I could tap dance like freakin Ginger Rogers.

I didn't have the "fire", and I didn't have an adult who pushed me. I went off to college and stopped singing and dancing and focused on a degree and a "real" job. Now I have a desk job, make good money, am fat, and look back and realize, I probably really could have done something amazing. I wish someone had pushed me. I didn't know that the gifts I had were exceptional.

It's only now that I'm starting on a second musical adventure. I can still sing, can't dance anymore.

My suggestion, have your daughter pick one thing that is her favorite and be disciplined about making her do it and stick with it. Try to encourage her to stick with it in college. You can lead this horse to water. Encourage her to drink. At some point it becomes up to her.

Anonymous wrote:As a parent who really loves my profession and one or two outside interests ( in the arts and sports), in which I am always working to improve myself, I find it very hard to relate to my unfocused, non passionate teens. They are great students and nice kids, but I can't help thinking that their inability to find something they love (despite every opportunity) and commit themselves to it wholeheartedly is a sign of weak character.

Do you always judge people who aren't just like you as having weak character? Cause I think thats a sign of weak character.

I know, pp. I really don't judge other people, but wanted my kids to find the joy I have found in something of their own. I was lucky to find my "passions" early on, and I am trying to appreciate my kids for who they are. I guess the weak character part comes from the fact that they used to throw themselves into things when they were about 8-13, and became quite good at a couple if activities, but once they reached a level where the activity became more demanding (ie hours of practice each week) they always quit. For me, if I had the ability and opportunity to compete at a regional or national level at a sport, I would not be satisfied just to play on the high school team. Maybe it is the difference between Type A and Type B personalities. Someone should write a guidebook for Type A parents on raising Type B kids. I could gave used it!