Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is his household money you've been putting in an account, then it's a joint savings account. Sorry, honey.

If it's her allowance that he has GIVEN her, and she is budget conscious enough to have saved it, then no I don't think she stole it.

This is gross. Allowance he's given her? Is she a child?
GET A JOB, OP.

OP, your money is only money you earned it prior to marriage. I have money stashed away but if we had a family emergency I would have no problem accessing it or having my husband accessing it. Any money stashed away during marriage, and especially when I am not working is family money and what he did was very appropriate. You are very selfish. I have no issue with you having separate savings but its not ok to drain his and not yours when it was his money that is in yours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is his household money you've been putting in an account, then it's a joint savings account. Sorry, honey.

If it's her allowance that he has GIVEN her, and she is budget conscious enough to have saved it, then no I don't think she stole it.

Now you are just making stuff up.
She said quite clealry: "I got this by keeping a bit for myself over the years from the money he provided for household expenses." I.e., she siphoned off money intended for other purposes and diverted it to herself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is his household money you've been putting in an account, then it's a joint savings account. Sorry, honey.

If it's her allowance that he has GIVEN her, and she is budget conscious enough to have saved it, then no I don't think she stole it.

If that's the case, let her pay for her own dental work and car.

Flame bait. Fire starter. Whatever.

Anonymous wrote:If this is his household money you've been putting in an account, then it's a joint savings account. Sorry, honey.

If it's her allowance that he has GIVEN her, and she is budget conscious enough to have saved it, then no I don't think she stole it.

If this is his household money you've been putting in an account, then it's a joint savings account. Sorry, honey.

Troll

OP, first YOU ARE WRONG.

Second, I understand your concerns re: death or divorce, but back to point one, YOU ARE WRONG.

You and your DH need to sit down and discuss your concerns and come up with a plan. Regarding death, you both should have adequate life insurance, if you don't get it. That will allay those fears. Regarding the fact that he has his own retirement savings but you do not, there is no reason you shouldn't. You should have your own IRA that is funded monthly. It sounds like you need to sit down with a financial planner and get your financial house in order so you can stop hoarding money and start acting like a partner with your DH. Frankly, you guys should have done this before you decided to stay home. If it turns out after meeting with a financial planner that your family can't afford life insurance and a retirement account for you, you and your DH need to seriously consider your return to the workforce.

She is a SAHM. That is a full time job that enables him to have a home, children, meals, shopping done, doctors arranged, etc. That IS contributing to the household.

I totally agree with what your are saying, but OP is not acting in the spirit of that sort of partnership if she is refusing to help pay for her car repairs and their joint mortgage payments. Her husband absolutely should have discussed the issue with her before taking any money out, but her view of their finances is troubling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're giving an accurate recounting of what's going on, I'm siding with him. Sounds like you've been hoarding his money and not actually contributing anything to household expenses. He didn't blow "his" money on a sportscar, and actual living expenses have been high.

And if you really behave this way, you should find a better hiding place for "your" money. Do you earn any income yourself?

Uh, I WOHM. But "not contributing anything to the household"? She is a SAHM. That is a full time job that enables him to have a home, children, meals, shopping done, doctors arranged, etc. That IS contributing to the household.

What he did is absolutely wrong. You don't touch your spouse's money without discussing it first. That kind of decision needs to be made jointly.

it's not her money. She didn't inherit it or earn it. read the OP. She stole it from him (apparently without his approval). Now he took some of it back to pay the mortgage on the home in which they both live.

Anonymous wrote:If you're giving an accurate recounting of what's going on, I'm siding with him. Sounds like you've been hoarding his money and not actually contributing anything to household expenses. He didn't blow "his" money on a sportscar, and actual living expenses have been high.

And if you really behave this way, you should find a better hiding place for "your" money. Do you earn any income yourself?

Uh, I WOHM. But "not contributing anything to the household"? She is a SAHM. That is a full time job that enables him to have a home, children, meals, shopping done, doctors arranged, etc. That IS contributing to the household.

What he did is absolutely wrong. You don't touch your spouse's money without discussing it first. That kind of decision needs to be made jointly.

Anonymous wrote:Oy, I hope OP isn't making up this story to further fuel the SAHM vs working mom fire. I am a SAHM and agree with OPs DH 100%.

Ditto. Another SAHM here and this behavior is really bad. Sure, have an allowance -- whatever works for individuals is none of my business. But hoarding money and refusing to pay for joint expenses when there are available funds on hand? No way. Seems like grounds for a cut in your allowance, young lady. Until you learn to share.

There are two separate issues here:
(1) should you have contributed to the mortgage payment from your separate account - YES
(2) should your husband have discussed it with you prior to providing the routing number and having the money taken out - YES.
Doesn't sound like either of you is behaving maturely.

Oy, I hope OP isn't making up this story to further fuel the SAHM vs working mom fire. I am a SAHM and agree with OPs DH 100%.