Christ, this is not a problem if he's a good person. It's just a style. Do you wear makeup? do you wear earrings ? do you dte your hair? You are stereotyping.

Anonymous wrote:It would bother me a little, too. People with that many visible tattooes are in the "nothing to lose" camp. Not in a position to work most places, have an axe to grind, etc. I'm not talking about your dolphin ankle tattoo from college, moms. I'm referring to the types of tattooes OP asked about.

Or they work in a field that doesn't mind tattoos.

Wow, Op, you have more issues than the counselor. Amazing. Teach your children to judge a person by their character, however their mom doesn't. Sad.

Anonymous wrote:op - here. As you answer do remember I did mentioned Tattoos all over that can NOT be covered.

Yes PP a church camp would have been ideal but none would be able to handle the behavioral issues which are severe.

OP - extend the same open heart and kindness towards this counselor as you hope he will extend to your son. You reap what you sow.

Sounds like this camp experience may be as important for you as your son in terms of opening your mind and heart to others who don't necessarily conform to your norms. I'm not trying to slam you,. You clearly are a person of faith and caring (or you wouldn't be offering this boy the life you are) so I'm asking you to think about your attitude towards this counselor's physical appearance as a demonstration of your faith and morals and see if your statements and judgment really line up with what you believe to be fundamentally important.

Anonymous wrote:I would be more concerned with a therapist or mentor's reputation as a therapist or mentor and less concerned with his personal style.

Consider that many times, counselors who work with at risk children were at risk children themselves. I was an at risk child and later worked as a mentor for at risk kids. Sometimes it's helpful in that relationship to have personal experience with where the child is coming from.

One way or another, likely your son needs a lack of judgmental attitude from his new parents, so I would suggest that you and your husband evaluate the people working with your son based on their professional credentials and the quality of their relationship with your son, rather than their personal appearance.

This. You need to be aware how much your son notices how you treat people. Be warm, kind, and accepting to this guy if you want him and your child to succeed.

Thanks for reminding me that I need to file a complaint against sales clerk at an auto parts store who helped me yesterday. Although he went out of his way to help me and was extremely nice, I should still complain because he was overweight and also tatooed on arms and neck. You are a jerk, OP. Take your kid out of this camp and give the entire staff at this camp a break. You make assholes look good.

Anonymous wrote:op - here. As you answer do remember I did mentioned Tattoos all over that can NOT be covered.

Yes PP a church camp would have been ideal but none would be able to handle the behavioral issues which are severe.

Exactly. People who can accept behavior issues also tend to be tolerant of things like tattoos.

Just a thought: if you AA and you are worried this makes your family have the potential to deal with discrimination AND this child comes from a troubled background and he may have even more issues that may make him the subject of discrimination, shouldn't you start by teaching him that what counts is what is on the inside of a person?

and that you can't judge a book by its cover (race, tattoos, weight)? or its history (foster care, abusive home)?

and this counselor may be the perfect person to help your child learn about tolerance and acceptance.

op - here. As you answer do remember I did mentioned Tattoos all over that can NOT be covered.

Yes PP a church camp would have been ideal but none would be able to handle the behavioral issues which are severe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would bother me a little, too. People with that many visible tattooes are in the "nothing to lose" camp. Not in a position to work most places, have an axe to grind, etc. I'm not talking about your dolphin ankle tattoo from college, moms. I'm referring to the types of tattooes OP asked about.

Wrong. I've worked with well-paid professional men whose bodies are covered in tattoos, but in their dress shirts, tie and suits you'd never know.

I've been working in law firms for over 10 years with full sleeves with absolutely no problem. I have worked with many, many attorneys who were heavily tattooed.

OP, I think you have your answer -- deal with it.

I read that you and your husband have a religious objection to tatoos. it might be that a camp organized by your church would have the counsellors that meet your standards better. However, these church camps would likely not be able to handle the therapeutic and social needs of you child -- if he has any behavior issues, for example, they might be rejecting of him. The camp he is in now sounds like it is more accepting of those who don't conform to a certain mold, and might therefore be the best place for him at this time.

Anonymous wrote:It would bother me a little, too. People with that many visible tattooes are in the "nothing to lose" camp. Not in a position to work most places, have an axe to grind, etc. I'm not talking about your dolphin ankle tattoo from college, moms. I'm referring to the types of tattooes OP asked about.

I have several large tattoos. For the most part, I can cover them up with my professional office attire. I don't wear long sleeved turtlenecks all year, though, so every once in a while, something peeks out around my neckline. No one has said anything negative about them, and I'm certainly not the only person in my office who has non-dolphin ankle tattoo tattoos.

It's been my experience that people who choose to get large tattoos are not usually interested in having office jobs. They tend to gravitate toward professions that have fewer dress code standards anyway. Whether this is a result of having anything to grind or not being in a position to have a "normal" job or whatever judgy dumb thing you said, I don't know, but I've met more tattooed bartenders and hair stylists than doctors or lawyers. Fortunately, that's not the issue in the OP's situation. The tattooed person she's judging is working as a counselor for at risk kids. Doesn't seem like a person with an ax to grind to me.

Anonymous wrote:It would bother me a little, too. People with that many visible tattooes are in the "nothing to lose" camp. Not in a position to work most places, have an axe to grind, etc. I'm not talking about your dolphin ankle tattoo from college, moms. I'm referring to the types of tattooes OP asked about.

Wrong. I've worked with well-paid professional men whose bodies are covered in tattoos, but in their dress shirts, tie and suits you'd never know.

Personal asthetic
not a character trait

Anonymous wrote:oh gosh. Tatoos are the devil's art. Demand new counselor now

lol, when I was living in Tennessee in the late 90's, tattoos were not as accepted there at that time, and especially on women. I was a girl with 2 full sleeves (nothing scary or anything, one arm is ocean/the other is a rainforest). People were always giving me terrible looks, making rude comments, etc.. One day in a store, a woman behind me actually grabbed my earlobe and spun me around (she's lucky I didn't haul off and punch her just out of reflex), and told me she felt really sorry for my parents, that I was going to burn in hell, and that she hoped I never had children, because it would be terrible for me to hold a baby in my disgusting arms.